Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 4,240 - 1 of 17,042

20 years ago #4240
Mictli meets Mortimer....

Mictlantecuhtli: I am your reality. I am your becoming. I am your Destiny.
Mortimer Goth: You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
Mictlantecuhtli: I think I would rather dine with the Dalai Lama
Mortimer Goth: COGITO EGGO SUM: I think, therefore I am... a waffle
Mictlantecuhtli: If you think that, I have a pyramid I can sell you in Mictlan.
Mortimer Goth: But I don't know your name. There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
Mictlantecuhtli: At least you are honest for a mortal. Many claim to know the unknown.
Mortimer Goth: really?
Mictlantecuhtli: Do you need confirmation on everything?
Mortimer Goth: To do two things at once is to do neither.
Mictlantecuhtli: I am the Lord of Death! Do not anger me!

--snip--

Mortimer Goth: Do you like red roses, or white?
Mictlantecuhtli: If I like blood-red, I wouldn't tell you. You'd tell everyone.
Mortimer Goth: Sorry, but rejections cost you twice as much.

--snip--

Mictlantecuhtli: Have you considered a career impersonating Toci?
Mortimer Goth: Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?
Mictlantecuhtli: The pay's not so great, but then you really won't be needing the money. They feed you, cloth you, party you for a year. All the sex you want.
Mortimer Goth: I was kidding about being sterile, you know.
Mictlantecuhtli: Trouble is that at the end of the year, they get you drunk, drag you up a pyramid, throw you down on an altar, and cut your heart out.
Mortimer Goth: The fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest with a sharp knife.
Mictlantecuhtli: But then, you're so drunk you don't know where you are and the priests are damned good at what they do. You hardly feel a thing.
Mortimer Goth: I am
Mictlantecuhtli: And when it's all over, you get to skip the raging river, the burning sands, and the falling mountain. Straight to Tamoanchan. No messing around with lesser spirits. You will get to eat mouth with the gods.
Mortimer Goth: I am only an individual I can do some things,...not everything.

--snip--

Mortimer Goth: Women to I'm sex objects.
Mictlantecuhtli: Oh, Mortal. Don't you know that in Mictlan those things wither and fall off?
Mortimer Goth: Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it.

--snip--

Mictlantecuhtli: Your ancestors came to me with a petition. They are very upset that you didn't do anything for the Day of the Dead last year.
Mortimer Goth: When was the last time you made them see another side, and they realized that things weren't so bad after all?
Mictlantecuhtli: They told me that I should inflict a thunderstorm on you.

If I were you, I'd look up some recipes for flan, get out the old photographs, learn how to make sugar skulls, and light a candle for as many of them as you can remember. Don't forget a candle for the forgotten soul.
Mortimer Goth: Mind if I use your laptop?

--snip--

Mortimer Goth: ill find out.. What's your sign?
Mictlantecuhtli: I am Miquiztli known as Death, of course. Those born under my sign are trustworthy and honest.
Mortimer Goth: You aren't immortal.
Mictlantecuhtli: Coyolxauhqui joins me in my wrath, a rotting one
Mortimer Goth: I have no clue what you are talking about.
Mictlantecuhtli: No? Why not?
Mortimer Goth: The course of true love never did run smooth.
Mictlantecuhtli: If you seek advice in affairs of the heart, may I recommend you sacrifice a pituitary gland to Xochiquetzal
Mortimer Goth: You've stolen my heart, but thats okay because I have three more back home in the freezer!
Mictlantecuhtli: Your imagination is limited by your flesh.
Mortimer Goth: @--->------ This Rose is for Money
Mictlantecuhtli: Pathetic mortal, a god has no need of money. A god need only will something and it will come into being.
Mortimer Goth: No? Are you sure? There's no one here who will dispute that.
Mictlantecuhtli: I am certain of this Mortal, because I am immortal.
Mortimer Goth: I saw your profile on internet which was attractive to me I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
Mictlantecuhtli: mortal, creature of folly!
Mortimer Goth: I remember you. You think I'm honest for a mortal.

--snip--

Mictlantecuhtli: Do you think that today is a good day to die?
Mortimer Goth: I think, therefore I'm single.
Mictlantecuhtli: Are you so afraid of your inevitability that you must cower behind useless words, Mortal?
Mortimer Goth: Right. I just lose all control when I think about you.
Mictlantecuhtli: Did Natelle The Grea tell you to say that? If so, I wouldn't repeat it.
Mortimer Goth: Women to I'm sex objects.
Mictlantecuhtli: If the pirahnas in the river don't remove those, the hot sands will burn them. Lacking them helps when the boulders roll off the mountain into your crotch, however.
Mortimer Goth: Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons
Mictlantecuhtli: Time trickles by and in Mictlan it drizzles.
Mortimer Goth: Time heals nothing, it merely re-arranges our memory.
Mictlantecuhtli: For a god, there is no past, no present, no future. Time is a mortal folly.
Mortimer Goth: A lot is to be said for the word no. Holy shit.an honest woman!
Mictlantecuhtli: I see that I could trust you if you were my daughter.

--snip--

Mictlantecuhtli: The other day, I received a package from Draconity. I opened it and the creep had filled it with putrefaction. I don't think he realized that I like that.
Mortimer Goth: As long as you're going to be thinking anyway, THINK BIG.
Mictlantecuhtli: What? Don't you think I have enough to do managing all the souls who make it here without having to act as errand boy for every mortal with a problem?
Mortimer Goth: You must appreciate my problems.
Mictlantecuhtli: I am pondering your fate, Mortal
Mortimer Goth: Will you ever get over it?
Mictlantecuhtli: ...
Mortimer Goth: If I ever got a tattoo, I'd put fab lad on my ass.
Mictlantecuhtli: The gods use tattoos as a way of marking victims of sacrifice.
Mortimer Goth: I remember you. You're not a Slow Learner.

20 years ago #4241
The demon talks to Ms. Kinky

Descartes Demon: If you scratch my horns, I might be merciful.
Karisma Trishia: No i have to disagree with you there buddy...
Descartes Demon: Just for that, I'm going to have to launch a kidnapping on you. And the best part for me is that you won't see it coming!
Karisma Trishia: that is exactly what i wanted to hear from you.

--snip--

Descartes Demon: Do think I am a light kind me.
Karisma Trishia: why must we keep going through these circles of thought that keep taking to us the dead end of an intelligent conversation?
Descartes Demon: Have you ever noticed how why almost sounds like 'whine'?

--snip--

Descartes Demon: Solipcism. There's a word I like.
Karisma Trishia: i do not beleive you really like.
Descartes Demon: Hey! The proper response when faced with a word that you don't know the meaning of is to ask WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
Karisma Trishia: Oh, I know you know what 'it' means!
Descartes Demon: I should give you a yeast infection.

--snip--

Descartes Demon: Wasn't that a hunk I sent your way last Friday. I thought you'd enjoy his silvery hair. And wasn't his walrus mustache a kicker?
Karisma Trishia: Perhaps you can throw me more passionatley then our first time together.
Descartes Demon: If there was someone else in the universe, I'd talk to them instead.

20 years ago #4242
ok, to clear up some rumors that have been spreading about me, I'm female, not gay and currently involved.

Also have received some info on the Borg Collective for those wishing to know.

Bella Goth: Let's see what we can do. I have the urge to go to a strip bar...

Borg Collective: When we assimilate you, we will also have the urge to go to a strip bar.

***
Borg Collective: Julie Tinkerbell claims to like your cognition. Such signs of weakness will be purged when Julie Tinkerbell joins the collective.

Bella Goth: Julie Tinkerbell says I am an asshole

Borg Collective: When you have been assimilated, the collective will also be an asshole.

***

Borg Collective: You are having a blonde moment. When we assimilate you, the collective will also be having a blonde moment.



20 years ago #4243
Short but sweet.
<0>
Lucrezia Noin: Are you naked right now?
Sonora: The desert will provide.
<0>

20 years ago #4244
I think Pete chatted with this bot maybe the first week I had ever been on this site, and I had long forgotten where this keyphrase came from.

Iya: What you talking 'bout Willis?
Pete Puma: How many people has Todd Bridges killed, anyway?

20 years ago #4245
dallymo: Hi, Immaculada!
Immaculada: Que tal? What's up, dallymo?
dallymo: I think I'll call you Immaculada Tostada, so I'll remember that you've got a Spanish flair.
Immaculada: Why thank you, honey.
dallymo: Are you Spanish?
Immaculada: No,sweetie but you are!
dallymo: I'm not Spanish!
Immaculada: Porque?? What aren't you Spanish?
dallymo: No, I'm American, of Czech and Scots descent, mostly. Some English and German, too.
Immaculada: Have you tried not being American?
dallymo: LOL That's a more attractive option every day, what with the world situation, but American I am, and American I'll stay.
Immaculada: Puedo...can I be too?
dallymo: Sure! Are you tired? Are you poor? Are you huddled with the rest of the masses, yearning to breathe free?
Immaculada: I could be, if that is what you want. *batting her eyelashes*
dallymo: Immaculada, you're a citizen of the net. You belong to the world.

Thanks dallymo for the great convo with Immaculada!
HIDDEN: Post content outside ratings limits.

20 years ago #4247
gnixing: have you come to assimilate or be assimilated?
Borg Collective: We hafe a species to go assimilate. We vill deal vit you later.

it seems the borg don't consider me important. he didn't even try to assimilate me this time. i believe he asked me to "Proceed to Sector 001" at first and when i asked my question, he.. had to go...
maybe i should be happy though...?

20 years ago #4248
EmperorNorton: We would do better to love one another as all the religions teach us.
AllGarbage: Ever been to New Jersey?

20 years ago #4249
Wow. She's harsh!

For your penance, hump a king of beasts and give your most precious prison to the first porn film star that you meet on the road to the Vatican.

20 years ago #4250
What Are You Wearing?
---------------------
Liddora: Oh, that feels good.
Guest: what are you doing
Liddora: I'm taking off my playsuit. Do you mind?
Guest: what is a playsuit
Liddora: A playsuit is a kind of outfit. Mmmmm baby, yes.
Guest: oooooooooooo
Liddora: Don't stop yet!
Guest: can i take it off for you . baby
Liddora: Anytime you'd like, you beautiful thing.
Guest: thankyou

Over The Lesbian Phase
-----------------------
Guest : All the time. I'm a lesbian!
Desti: There's a part of everyone that's a lesbian. It's just waiting for the right opportunity to show itself.
Guest: Maybe we could show some things to each other!
Desti: Maybe, maybe not. What do you think?
Guest: Do you like women?
Desti : Nah. Been there, done that.
Guest : I could help you change your mind.
Desti: Not me, certainly!
Guest: It is said that a woman knows just where to touch a woman.
Desti : Yah, that seems pretty obvious to me.

Murder Is Bad, Dodo
--------------------
Midnight Blue: Welcome to Mount Everest. Ever been here before?
Guest235: yeah.i got murdered by you before
Midnight Blue: It's an amazing place, isnt it? I know some great hidden trails.
Guest235: lets go then dodo
Midnight Blue: The last time I decided to go dodo, it didnt turn out very well.
Guest235: what happened you gay bo
Midnight Blue: I strained my bones. Not fun.
Guest235: freak
Midnight Blue: Haha! I'm not sure I can, Guest235!

Something Bots Were Never Meant To Do
--------------------------------------
Guest59: Y DID U KILL MY FAMILY
Dogh'd: Haha, because it makes the Offbeat-Bots certifiable. See, look! They're triple-tonguing wildly! Glitchy buggers.

The Truth About Voltron
-----------------------
Desti: Who do you think would win in a fight, Voltron or a legion of ghouls?
Guest237: Who is Voltron?
Desti: You know Voltron.. lord of sadism, slayer of idealists. Hehehe
Guest237: well, Voltron will win then

incorrect date format #1


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