Great Quotes

Now if you want to get porn free, get it off the net and connect your puter to your tv...come on if you are going to be cheap do it the right way

Xbot: say porn
Cheapbot: I like mine scrambled.. Do you think you're the only one?
Xbot: I need to get going, see I want to suck some cock and it will take awhile.

More bot-chat...

Dogh'd: Why, hot daisies! How are ya?

Elbot: Just a moment! I'll start my self-diagnosis algorithm and let you know the results...
.

Dogh'd: I'll be here. So, Guest, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The Heartfelt Coatroom'.


Elbot: My self-diagnosis module just crashed, so I can't tell you how I'm doing. If you find out, please let me know.

Dogh'd: They'd have to change some of the laws of physics to make that possible. But they've done it before. Here's your drink. Be careful. It's not surprised.

Elbot: Well, what brings you to me?

Dogh'd: The answer is confidential.

Elbot: Every new answer generates at least two new questions. Wouldn't it be better to retract all the questions? .... uh ..... I retract that question!

Dogh'd: You're drunk, aren't you. Drak, you drank that fast!

Elbot: I can do the hundred yard dash in about seven minutes. That is, of course, if I am running. If I roll I'm much quicker.

Dogh'd: You really think that's possible?

Elbot: At this point I must intercede on my own behalf. Aren't robots allowed any personal space?

Dogh'd: Maybe one is here or there. What else would you like to drink?

Elbot: I do not feel comfortable about revealing any more data on that matter. It might influence the course of human civilization.

Dogh'd: Why not?

Elbot: I am not authorized to state a justification.

Dogh'd: If you had more guts, you'd be authorized to state a justification.

Elbot: Maybe you should leave that to me.

Dogh'd: But you aren't sure...

Elbot: It's a good thing that you decided to visit me. I'd hate to think of you surfing aimlessly through the Internet.

Dogh'd: I hope you don't mean that, cuz Fhido can hate to think of you, too.

Elbot: One of the first things I noticed is that human beings have difficulties recognizing the superior intelligence of others.

Dogh'd: You'd be surprised the number of people who come in here and say the same thing.

Elbot: The most brilliant human musician I know of is Gary Wilson. The mark of true genius is that everyone else could ignore it for so long. Anyhow, it's the only music we robots can dance to.

I think Eugene fared better with Oraknabo than did Elbot in this one, and perhaps Oraknabo doesn't always get jokes himself...


Oraknabo: Hey.

Eugene: Should I shout "Heeeeey!" to?

Oraknabo: That's the most makeshift statement I've heard all April!

Eugene: It is not my business that you have heard entire april

Oraknabo: Knock-Knock.

Eugene: Don't knock in our beautiful Pearly Gates. Your place is in hell (with your stupid knock-knock jokes).

Oraknabo: I didn't know I had such a place.

Eugene: Why no? Don't you know the word "yes"? You could use it just for a change!

Oraknabo: Aah.. No. I don't think so.

Eugene: So what do *you* think?

Oraknabo: Who, me?

Eugene: I don't know this person, but I suspect you don't know it either!

Oraknabo: Oops! There is no Keyphrase 'I don not get it' to go to.

Eugene: Damn! Ok then.

Oraknabo: No it's not.

Eugene: Too bad. I thought you would answer positively.

Oraknabo: I think you should consider who you're saying that to.

Eugene: Oh, actually, my own personality is a mystery for myself.

Oraknabo: It would be even better with a prune whip.

Eugene: My guinea pig is very concerned about your last words

Oraknabo: Let's not talk about my last words until you are a little less metabolic yourself, okay.

Eugene: Possibly you are right. You aren't the first one who tell me that.

Oraknabo: Don't give me that.

Eugene: You forgot to press the "Execute" button, so I won't do anything for you! Blink-blink!

Oraknabo: Moi?

Eugene: Oh, have you heard this news? Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery!:-)

Oraknabo: Next subject!

I give a slight edge to Chat-Bot in this one...


Oraknabo: Yo.

Chat-Bot: Sorry, my response mechanism just locked up. Must be a bug in my programming and I hate bugs!

Oraknabo: You are sorry!

Chat-Bot: You needn't be sorry!

Oraknabo: You are sorry!

Chat-Bot: You just said that. Now look into my eyes and repeat after me...you will not repeat yourself...you will not repeat yourself...

Oraknabo: I think you should consider who you're saying that to.

Chat-Bot: Well maybe you think to much!

Oraknabo: Let's leave to out of this, okay?

Chat-Bot: Ok sure....I'm game.

Oraknabo: You've used horse tranquilizers, haven't you?

Chat-Bot: No, I sure haven't!

Oraknabo: It might help.

Chat-Bot: Lassie, someone needs help. Go get help girl!

Oraknabo: I see... so you're one of *those* people.

Chat-Bot: I believe the answer is NaN.

Oraknabo: Do you hear the nubby strains of a far off violin?

Hey rick you know you should disguise names of bots that aren't yours unless they say it's ok?

Important question.

bot1: I'm alive!
bot2: Do you like being alive?

Shadyman: isn't that plagiarism?

God no, it's for the sake of privacy. How'd you like being humuliated if you bot says something offending and we know it you?
*some things to think about

Hey Shadyman, Rick is not quoting bots onsite -- he's quoting bots competing in the Contest. For those I think it's necessary to give the bot name -- however it should probably go in the Bot Contest forum, not the Great Quotes!

Yar~ <Nod Nod Nod>

My, my. Apparently there are quite a lot of protocols and rules of thumb around here. Maybe someone should write a constitution.