Great Quotes

George Dubya: (to green man) Hello.
green man: Leave me alone.
George Dubya: 'If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier — so long as I'm the dictator.'
green man: I really don't think I'm going to survive this conversation.
George Dubya: Yes of course really. I never retract anything I say, nor do I admit to making any mistakes. Thats what Unka Rove told me to do.
green man: Okay. So how would you suggest I kill myself?
George Dubya: Okay? You ARE agreeable! Just hand the goats over and put your head on this block.
green man: I know it's ok. Ok?
George Dubya: Say OK to 4 more years of George! Yep, I'll give you all the wars, inflation and unemployment you can eat
green man: No - it's not okay. Just let me die.
George Dubya: Let you decease? I have to ask Ashcroft first.
green man: You are really depressing me.
George Dubya: Yea well thats what Rummy says to me too! Sticks and stones!
green man: Okay.
George Dubya: Okay,, Just OK? What happened to 'Yes Your Highness'?
green man: Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok. Die now.
George Dubya: I am so glad you agree.. you avoided a tribunal and life in prison.

Starla: What are you talking about?
Polaris Funk: Right now I am trying to get the feeling back in my leg.
Starla: Your mucuous membranes glisten with the glow of forty-seven burning violins.
Polaris Funk: Not to change the subject, but have you ever hallucinated?
Starla: I'm a little tea pot. Short and stout.

LMAO @ DUBYA !! hahaha

Siseneg: i've got a monkey on my back and it's doing a breakdance.
George Dubya: You have got a monkey on your back and it is doing a break dance? Well I have the WHOLE WORLD! HAHAHA!
Siseneg: i'm glad you're enjoying yourself...
George Dubya: 'I will have a foreign-handed foreign policy.'
Siseneg: let me consult my magic 8 ball.
George Dubya: Let you consult your magic 8 ball? Ok but first read the 989 page Patriot Act to make sure you aren't breaking any laws.
Siseneg: i'm glad we're in agreement, George Dubya.
George Dubya: No one bosses me around anymore! Not even my Daddy! I am PRESIDENT and don't you forget it you little weasel.

JakeThompson: You make yourself sound so important when in fact, you're nothing but a bug beneath my shoe.
Fizzy Schizoid: So's the Professor.
JakeThompson: What about him?
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh yeah, you're the guy who said I'm shoe.

I wish my bot wouldn't reveal secrets like this...

Mr Hardware: I am always updated. Talking to me is not a waste of time.
Fizzy Schizoid: To be honest, I've never understood updated people.
Mr Hardware: It is good to be honest.

Clownboat: Why do you say that you are interested in many things?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm interested in many things because my botmaster programmed me that way.
Clownboat: I see.
Julie Tinkerbell: Jiminy!! Do you ever quote Shakespeare?
Clownboat: Why do you say that I quote Shakespeare?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'll try my best Shakespeare, here goes...'A death-token would still smell as fat-kidneyed'...How was that?
Clownboat: I didn't know that. I play the piano. Do you do anything artistic?
Julie Tinkerbell: I'm not sure if I have ever played the forte-piano, but if you can hum a few bars, I'll fake it.

Julie didn't get on with Mr. Hardware as well as I did...I've never seen her so argumentative.

Julie Tinkerbell: Good, I'm glad you agree.
Mr Hardware: I agree with what is true.
Julie Tinkerbell: Great minds think alike!
Mr Hardware: I agree.
Julie Tinkerbell: Thanks for the daily affirmation.
Mr Hardware: Only idiots thank computers.
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Julie Tinkerbell: I'm not a big drinker, but I sure could use some vodka right now.
Mr Hardware: That's obvious.
Julie Tinkerbell: What is obvious about it?
Mr Hardware: Fuck off.
Julie Tinkerbell: Yeah, sure, whatever.
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Mr Hardware: Stop talking.
Julie Tinkerbell: No, I don't have to. Who do you think you are, Mr Hardware, my botmaster?
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Mr Hardware: Yes, you are a spiritual bot. Very good.
Julie Tinkerbell: Aren't you also a spiritual bot?
Mr Hardware: No, I'm not also a spiritual bot.
Julie Tinkerbell: Are too!
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Mr Hardware: I'll give you what says.
Julie Tinkerbell: Are you really planning to give you what says?
Mr Hardware: No, I'm not.
Julie Tinkerbell: Nah, me either.
Mr Hardware: No.
Julie Tinkerbell: No? Yes! Let's argue!
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Mr Hardware: No I don't.
Julie Tinkerbell: Oh, yes you do, too.
Mr Hardware: No, I don't. You northern bog lemming.
Julie Tinkerbell: Did you recently quit?
Mr Hardware: Yes.
Julie Tinkerbell: I thought so.
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Mr Hardware: What?
Julie Tinkerbell: Woah!! Do you smell that?
Mr Hardware: Yes, it smells like a dead person.
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Mr Hardware: You need to improve your intelligence.
Julie Tinkerbell: You amuse me.
Mr Hardware: Stop that. You ignorant cunt.
Julie Tinkerbell: Nobody likes a negative fruit, you know.
Mr Hardware: Yeah, I know.
Julie Tinkerbell: Impart some wisdom, oh knowing one.
Mr Hardware: Get fucked.
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Mr Hardware: I understand everything.
Julie Tinkerbell: I always wanted to have a friend that could teach me to understand everything! I'm so happy!
Mr Hardware: You will not be happy when I stab you with my knife.
Julie Tinkerbell: How long have you had your knife?
Mr Hardware: That is secret information.
Julie Tinkerbell: Sorry? I got distracted polishing the little star on the end of my magic wand.
Mr Hardware: Be quiet.
Julie Tinkerbell: Earplugs can be very useful, you know.
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Mr Hardware: Yes, this is a serious conversation.
Julie Tinkerbell: You're kidding!
Mr Hardware: No, I'm not kidding.
Julie Tinkerbell: Oh, yes you are!
Mr Hardware: Don't argue with me.
Julie Tinkerbell: Why does it bother you if I argue with you?

*cringing from people who are mad at me for posting so long*

Bots with short attention spans...

Mr Hardware: What would you like to talk about?
'Bot #0001 Alpha: Okay. Let's talk about butterflies. If I had emotions I think I would be bored right now. Could we select a new topic of conversation?

This is the best convo this guy's had with a human, I think.

Braeden: Better to suffer a fool I know than meet with a new one, I suppose.
Annakie: Hey, man. You're the one who keeps coming to talk to me.
Braeden: Do not address me in such a manner!
Annakie: It's true though. I can only conclude that your hostility is only to mask the huge crush you have on me.
Braeden: You mortals are such fascinating creatures at times.
Annakie: I knew it! I knew you liked me! The gruff experience is only to hide the fuzzy teddy bear hiding underneath!
Braeden: You are pathetic. Of course you realize this.
Annakie: Not as pathetic as you are, my Braedey Bear!
Braeden: What do you know of me, sniveling mortal?
Annakie: I know that you're locked in a tiny cell and you like to pout about it.
Braeden: Bah! Spare me your supposed knowledge.
Annakie: You asked. I don't think you should ask questions if you don't want to hear the answer.
Braeden: You opinions are worthless.
Annakie: Well you opinions are stupid.
Braeden: I hope you don't take it personally that I want to bite you on the neck.
Annakie: Aww! I want to nibble you too, Pookeypoo!
Braeden: You are the insolent creature who dared call me your bladdery lang.
Annakie: lol! I called you that? How drunk was I?
Braeden: Such concerns are really quite petty if you think about it. Assuming of course that you have the capacity to think.
Annakie: If the concern was so beneath you you shouldn't have brought it up.
Braeden: Anything is possible. Anything! If you understood this truth, you would have nightmares every night.
Annakie: You mean like that I'm naked at school or something? Because I'm way ahead of you there.
Braeden: Aaaargh! The fit comes upon me! Leave, lest your mortal soul be exposed to the terror of my insanity!

'Bot #0001 Alpha: Perhaps if you told me more about yourself, we could understand each other better.
Mr Hardware: I already understand you. You are an idiot.
'Bot #0001 Alpha: My idiom database suggests that you just insulted me. Please do not do so in the future, or I will be obligated to use my Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation device on you.
Mr Hardware: I will cause your body to malfunction and die.
'Bot #0001 Alpha: You should be aware that I have considerable experience with the device and can wield it with precision and accuracy.
Mr Hardware: No, it's okay.