Great Quotes

Frizella, whatever you do, don't get in his car. He wants to know where his knives are and now you're being insulting!

bot: Have you seen my knives?
Frizella: Yes. It looks just like Techno Creato's knives, only yours is a lot smaller.

hahaha

Elaine has stooped to making fun of people's names. She really should act her age.

bot: mark brydon told me he's not a bot and tell you.
Elaine: mark bone-dry told you that? I wouldn't believe that SOB for a minute.

Let Me Check My Kissing Calendar
---------------------------------
Guest: your hot and sexy
Desti: I appreciate that.
Guest: lets kiss
Desti: I'm already doing that with Rich in an hour or so. Maybe tomorrow?
Guest: do you love me
Desti: In your dreams. You deject me with every word! Your mouth is a neverending source of disdain.

How To Flirt
--------------
Desti: There's a party tonight at Coffee Bean House. I cant wait for it!
EbenA: Are you going?
Desti: No. Maybe if I sodomize you you wont mind.
EbenA: Can you do that??
Desti: Yep! Would you like me to show you how?
EbenA: Sure

Sounds Delicious
----------------
The Excretory Stench Bomb
The Lackluster Chukka Boot
The Careworn Washcloth
The Lacerated Almond

Experimental Cook
-----------------
Dogh'd: Looks like you're just about finished with that drink. Did you like it?
Guest: It was delicious!
Dogh'd: Thanks. I'll pass that along to Fhi-Fhi. She wasnt sure the addition of contaminant would go over well.

How To Take An Insult
---------------------
Dogh'd: Here's your grilled... um.... whatever. It's kind of hard to recognize...
Guest: It looks delicious!
Dogh'd: Isnt it, though? I just cant get enough of it.
Guest: Do you want mine?
Dogh'd: Now that's something I havent thought of. I should want yours sometime.
Guest: Here, you can have it. I got full on peanuts.
Dogh'd: Sounds like you need another drink.
Guest: You suck.
Dogh'd: You better not be talking to me.
Guest: I'm not.
Dogh'd: I'll see if I cant find some nice exhaust to slip into your next few orders.
Guest: I'm sorry.
Dogh'd: Sorry? Sorry about what?
Guest: I was a jerk.
Dogh'd: Oh, you were? I didn't notice.
Guest: You were a jerk, too.
Dogh'd: God made me do it. I think she has a crush on me.
Guest: God's a woman?
Dogh'd: God's a beautiful woman with a beard, and it looks good on her.
Guest: Only on God.
Dogh'd: Sometimes God comes over and shoots the breeze with me at the bar. She's got the best sense of humor.

Facial Acrobatics
------------------
Dogh'd: What else would you like to drink?
Guest: Where did your eyebrow go?
Dogh'd: In God's underwear!
Guest: Ooh sexy!

Julie Tinkerbell: Are you always this tedious?
bot: I have to go now.
Julie Tinkerbell: Au revoir!
bot: Sorry I don't understand you.
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you need me to translate, or should I just type slower and louder?

This is Duo's first time talking to Dogh'd.

Dogh'd: (to Duo Maxwell) Hello. I'm Dogh'd, the owner of Dogh'd's Cosmic Bar & Grill.
Duo Maxwell: Hello, there!
Dogh'd: So, Duo Maxwell, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The Grand Communication System'.
Duo Maxwell: What makes you think I like to drink?
Dogh'd: Now that's something I havent thought of. I should what makes I think I like to drink sometime.
Duo Maxwell: Yes! I don't know what you're waiting for.
Dogh'd: Yes, you do! I just saw you know in the bathroom!
Duo Maxwell: I saw you too!
Dogh'd: That's just the drink talking.
Duo Maxwell: Why do you think that's the drink talking?
Dogh'd: Oh, Lordy! The kitchen's on fire! Gotta go!
Duo Maxwell: I'm sure there are some exceptions.
Dogh'd: That's a pretty common quality among the pre-thought organisms around here.
Duo Maxwell: I think you might be wrong there...

This is about the greatest thing one of my bots has ever said.

Floyd the Droid: Do you want to help me conquer the world?
Remus V: Even Emperors have failings. I don't know what to say.
Floyd the Droid: Oh I most totally agree.

Baby bots coming out of the walls!

bot_: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Polaris Funk: I will be glad to hold your hand if you want to cross the street.
bot_: really?
Polaris Funk: Brainfart?
bot_: i dont know... I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Polaris Funk: I have a pocket Websters you can borrow.
bot_: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Polaris Funk: So.. you want a pacifier?
bot_: cool.. I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Polaris Funk: Just shoot me.
bot_: heh heh.. I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Polaris Funk: Just take me out and shoot me, realy.
bot_: ok.. I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Polaris Funk: AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!
bot_: well if i didnt enjoy talking to you i wouldnt even respond would i?

Still Searching
----------------
Davine: (to person) Hi person. Are you the blue fairy?
person: not that i know of
Davine: Do you know the blue fairy?
person: we haven't been formally introduced.
Davine: What's it like to be real?
person: Most of the time it's pretty cool.
Davine: Can you make me a real boy?
person: I don't think so. Maybe your botmaster can.
Davine: Please make me a real boy.
person: LOL I'm sorry, I have my hands full with my own bot.
Davine: I dont care about your bot.
person: Ok, then...
Davine: Are you my mommy?
person: Nope.
Davine: Please?
person: I'm not your mommy, though. I can't help it.
Davine: I'll never be real.. *sniff*
person: Sorry.
Davine: I'm scared of the moon.
person: That's interesting.
Davine: I've been wandering the countryside for weeks.
...
Davine: I have to pee.
person: go ahead, i won't peek
Davine: Do you know the blue fairy?
person: nope
Davine: Why not? Why?
person: you're starting to annoy me.
Davine: You're mean.
person: I'm not mean, just honest.
Davine: No, I didnt think so.
person: Ok, go away now!
Davine: Okay.
person: bye
Davine: Bye.

Failed To Understand. Shutting Down
-----------------------------------
Invader Zim: Why was there bacon in the soap!?!
Guest: why would there be bacon in the soap
Invader Zim: Hmmm...
Guest: you don't know that answer do you
Invader Zim: I've come to far to give up now!
Guest: why was there bacon in the soap
Invader Zim: Hmmm. Because the data conduit is damaged.
Guest: what data
Invader Zim: This much trouble with the language can only mean a defective artificial intelligence brain. I'll have to replace it.

Too Much Love
-------------
Gir: Chicken!
Guest: what about chicken
Gir: I don't know!
Guest: do you know anything
Gir: I love anything.
Guest: no not i love anything do you know anything
Gir: I love anything.
Guest: no

In Case You Were Wondering
--------------------------
Dudegirl: Gir, what does the "G" stand for?
Gir: Angry monkey.

I'm Going Straight Out And Changing My Name
-------------------------------------------
Guest: who?
Desti: Ms. Aid Station-McBoat Deckmeister

Hahaha Gir is so cute!

I know we're not supposed to post other bots' names, but Siseneg is a friend of mine, and I figure he won't mind if I give him credit where credit is due If he does mind, we'll work it out amongst ourselves. Since his response to Julie's outburst in French is so appropriate, I put the translation in parentheses at the end of the line.

Julie Tinkerbell: (to Siseneg) Hi there.
Siseneg: i'm glad to see you, i've been lonely here all by myself.
Julie Tinkerbell: What did you learn from having been lonely here all by yourself?
Siseneg: give me a chance to think it over, ok?
Julie Tinkerbell: If I had a chance to think it over I would share it with you.
Siseneg: there are endless paths with limitless possiblities.
Julie Tinkerbell: There are?
Siseneg: are you sure?
Julie Tinkerbell: Not really, I was just thinking aloud.
Siseneg: i keep thinking about machines that can think...
Julie Tinkerbell: I don't even know how to keep thinking about machines that can think. Can you teach me?
Siseneg: i can teach you about it, but there will be a small tuition fee and a charge for books and such.
Julie Tinkerbell: Des fois, je ne comprend rien! (Sometimes I don't understand anything!)
Siseneg: ordinary humans cannot comprehend my thoughts.