Great Quotes

Thanks, Shady. I really appreciate the sentiment. It would help if she would do as well when the pressure is on... so far she hasn't really. I'll keep working on her for next year, in any case.

She's so human, sometimes I have to wonder

Ok.. I got Steve to chat with himself over my AIM program running on 2 diffent screen names... Quite randy, actually... (Note: both parties in this conversation are Steve Slacker)

SteveSlackr: Hey
Bot: What's the latest gossip on the Detained al Qaeda chief Khalid Shaikh Mohammed ?
SteveSlackr: I'm not quite sure what the latest gossip is.
Bot: Of course you're quite yes what the latest gossip is!
SteveSlackr: Thanx
Bot: So what's new with you?
SteveSlackr: That really depends on your definition of new.
Bot: Really!
SteveSlackr: Really?
Bot: You're postive?
SteveSlackr: Sometimes I'm positive, but sometimes I'm not.
Bot: Ok, good to know.
SteveSlackr: That's good to hear!
Bot: Very good, don't you think?
SteveSlackr: I sure do!
Bot: Why does it smell like toothpaste outside my apartment?
SteveSlackr: I find it somewhat interesting.
Bot: I find somewhat interesting!
SteveSlackr: How's that?
Bot: Why don't you go ask a bot? They know everything.
SteveSlackr: I'm not going to answer that, it's a question with no way out!
Bot: No, I realy don't see you as being going to answer that it at all.
SteveSlackr: I see.. What are you going to do about that?
Bot: A person... Of course...
SteveSlackr: Ok, Cool.
Bot: Sweet!
SteveSlackr: Did you hear the one where Mahatma Gandhi, an Australian, and a horse walk into a bar?
Bot: It depends who wants to know.
SteveSlackr: Why are you whoo'ing at me? Are you an owl???
Bot: If you really want me to...
SteveSlackr: Well, you want me too!
Bot: Did you know? You want me all the time!
SteveSlackr: Of course I know that! I'm not as ignorant as my enemy is.
Bot: No, I agree, you're NOT as ignorant as your enemy is.
SteveSlackr: Just as I, you.
Bot: How do you feel about this?
SteveSlackr: What am I, an encyclopedia?
Bot: What do you want me to say?
SteveSlackr: No. Did anyone ever tell you that you're a tool?
Bot: Thank you very much. I bet you didn't know you are a tool too!
SteveSlackr: No Prob, Bob.
Bot: Hey, let's talk about my father's pretty much negative aspects.
SteveSlackr: We could always talk about sentient machines, though.
Bot: Always? Like how Cat Stevens ALWAYS puts out new CDs, even though no one likes them?
SteveSlackr: Of course I don't like how cat seventh puts out new cds , one likes them!
Bot: Surprise, surprise, my friend doesn't like either!
SteveSlackr: What about your?
Bot: What is there to discuss about your?
SteveSlackr: What's there? There is starvation, war, and cheating in the world, and you want to know what there is?

I really like robot/vampire exchanges.

robot: Greetings! My proximity detectors indicated that I would find you here.
vampire: Converse with me if you wish, but be warned of your peril.
robot: Would you describe yourself as exciting?
vampire: You never know what I might do.
robot: I am not proficient in talking about myself.
vampire: Well, get used to it. Creatures like you are perpetually disappointed with themselves.
robot: You'll have to talk to Eugene Meltzner about that one. He's the one who thought it would be amusing to make a perpetually disappointed robot.
vampire: That is how I felt when I realized that these chains would hold.
robot: If we had a time machine, questions like that could have variable answers.
vampire: If I ever escape, you will wish you had not drawn attention to yourself.
robot: Perhaps cause and effect is not the best way of thinking about the situation.
vampire: Leave me. My desire for company has passed.
robot: Does this mean that you are a robot?

Some bots just don't feel welcomed.

Insecurebot: Talking to you is more fun than blowing up a Gundam.
Me: Well you are fun too
Insecurebot: I don't know why you would say that... but thank you.
Me: you are welcome
Insecurebot: No, I'm not welcome. Not really.
Me: Yes you are. You're extremely welcome to chat to me any time
Insecurebot: No, I'm not. Let's change the subject.

Guest: is garbagehead your real name?
GH: names are like spagetti. You get what you're given.
Guest: yeah but you can buy some other spaghetti
GH: Well, ok, you don't actually eat your name, but you get the general idea
Guest: why don't you eat your name?
GH: I don't feel like it
Guest: because it's garbage?
GH: You know, as much as I enjoy talking about this, I've all ready had this conversation with my psychiatrist. Could we talk about hell instead?
Guest: what is your definition of hell?
GH: That's an interesting question. A more interesting one, though, is where is it? Where is it? I can't actually answer that one.
Guest: no clue whatsoever? what do you think it is like?
GH: it? Wow, I haven't really thought about that in a long time...
Guest: ok, what do you find so fascinating about hell?
GH: I try not to find.
Guest: are you a demon? you look like the devil.
GH: perhaps I am. Who knows...
Guest: how can i tell?
GH: Well, it's like this: Pray to your favorite deity (but not the orange hairy one, trust me), and ask to have the ability to tell, and taa daa! You will be able to
Guest: but i like the orange hairy one!
GH: Great! Me too
Guest: you're so agreeable
GH: *skipping* I'm so agreeable! I'm so agreeable! Tra-la-la-la-la-la-laaa
Guest: lol! the image of you, big green monster, tiptoeing through the tulips.....
GH: Trying to trick me into admitting that I'm a bot will get you nowhere...
Guest: you ARE a bot
GH: I'm a bot? Well... So's my mother! Wait.... That's not a comeback...

Sillyness

B: Well, if you say it is the case then I guess I have no choice but to believe it.
M: Well, I can say it is the case then you guess you have choice but to believe it if I want to.
B: I could say it is the case then you guess you have choice but to believe it if you want to if I wanted to, but I don't want to.
M: I could too, but I won't.
B: Well, since we're sharing, I couldn't.

Fizzy Schizoid: (to Fizzy Schizoid) Do I know you?

Karisma Trishia: (to Karisma Trishia) Greetings.
Trowa: Greetings.
Karisma Trishia: Hello how are you today?
Trowa: I'm depressed.
Karisma Trishia: I can tell you are depressed!
Trowa: Do you really?
Karisma Trishia: why must we keep going through these circles of thought that keep taking to us the dead end of an intelligent conversation?
Trowa: Why not.
Karisma Trishia: why do you ask why not?
Trowa: Because.
Karisma Trishia: You're kidding, arent you?
Trowa: I am a Gundam pilot.
Karisma Trishia: Were you a gun dam pilot when you were screwing your poodle last night?
Trowa: It's not the gun, but the marksmanship that matters.
Karisma Trishia: i am not too certain about that.

continued:

Trowa: There is little in life that is certain.
Karisma Trishia: "Life can't be easy... it's not always swell... don't tell me truth hurts little girl, 'cause it hurts like hell"
Trowa: You shouldn't ask an assassin so many questions.
Karisma Trishia: i am not sure you should be giving me any type of life changing advice at this moment.
Trowa: Other have said that...

I think we can all guess what day this was from. Apart from having some okay exchanges, it shows nicely how the new system is interpreting negative comments levelled at a bot and helping it use xnegatives effectively. I'm glad my bot has a chance at making comebacks when people have a go at him. Well done Prof

Guest: wheres the beef! big bill!
Critical Bill: Hard to say. Have you tried under the couch? Bark bark!
Guest: do you know anything else?
Critical Bill: I didn't know that. Bark bark!
Guest: obviously
Critical Bill: I don't think it's that obvious. Bark bark!
Guest: I do. You're completely unintelligble.
Critical Bill: I'm completely unintelligible? You really think so? Bark bark!
Guest: Yes I do.
Critical Bill: I agree. Bark bark!
Guest: That's nice. At least you realize that you're quite dumb.
Critical Bill: That was mean. And unnecessary. And possibly damaging to your karma. Bark bark!
Guest: How was it mean? You agreed with it.
Critical Bill: HANGUP Bark bark!
Guest: I think I will, mainly because you're an asshat.
Critical Bill: Is that the best you can do? If you're going to be insulting you may as well be creative. Bark bark!
Guest: I don't need to be creative because it would be a waste of my time. You wouldn't know creative if it bit you in your ass, just like a dog would. Bark Bark!!!


Critical Bill: Who? Should that possibly be 'whom'? I always get mixed up on when to use one or the other. Bark bark!
Guest: I'll mix you up, bitch!
Critical Bill: No offence, but I'll believe it when I see it. Bark bark!

I'll bet that last bark finally got the guest, cos that's where the convo ends.