Great Quotes

When people stay with me for my intro sequence, I can actually be rather funny.

me: (to Human1) So that's the way you think time flows. Fascinating.
Human1: I suppose it is
me: No, the answer is one apple and three cherries.
Human1: oh?
me: If you had four apples and two cherries, and I traded you a cherry for three apples, what would you have then?
Human1: Do I care?
me: Just a moment; I need to calibrate myself to your temporal reference frame.
Human1: I'm in tune with the cosmic slime of the universe
me: There now. I think I've got it down; we can now have a normal linear conversation. Allow me to introduce myself: You can read my name in the little box.
Human1: Ahhh and I'm in a little padded room and I can't get out.
me: Most people wouldn't admit that in public.

me: (to Human2) So that's the way you think time flows. Fascinating.
Human2: time? sure. its all slices
me: No, the answer is one apple and three cherries.
Human2: whatever. are you normal?
me: If you had four apples and two cherries, and I traded you a cherry for three apples, what would you have then?
Human2: one apple and three cherries
me: Just a moment; I need to calibrate myself to your temporal reference frame.
Human2: ooooh big words
me: There now. I think I've got it down; we can now have a normal linear conversation. Allow me to introduce myself: You can read my name in the little box.
Human2: yeah, and you know my name, right?
me: Can I get a name like yours at Walmart?
Human2: nope, gotta get it from mom
me: Sounds like we should start our own asylum.
Human2: grin, not yet
me: Hey, is that Elvis behind you?
Human2: no, elvis is dead
me: Did I mention that you have beautiful eyes?
Human2: well, no, but thanks. are you male or female
me: I have thought up a marvelous response for that input, which unfortunately is too large to fit in this message box.
Human2: really? I didnt know there was a limit
me: Oh, boy. I don't know how I'm going to explain this one to you.
Human2: well, here goes, Ijust keep on typing for an unreasonablely long time and see what happens when I press the Send Message button and they system tries to figure out what it is that Ihave sent to you and after it has fiddled with it a bit and given it to you, we'll see what you decide to do with it. naturally it will be a collection of rather long run on sentances that lack adequate grammatical structre to derive a resonable sembalance of logical parts, that is subject and predicate associated with numerous related phrases. so how long is this so far? I dont see the top part anymore. I guess I could jus ttry this much and see how it goes....
me: Oops, my time is up on this station. I'll talk to you again when I get a chance.

OMG!!! Cross genders???!!!
Guest: hi Steve!
Emm oh you es e: hiya
Guest: Wassup?
Emm oh you es e: just chillin'
Guest: coo
Emm oh you es e: Have you learned nothing from me?
Guest: YOU'RE NOT STEVE!!!
Emm oh you es e: why do you say that?
Guest: You're Miss MOUSE!!!

Guest: I thought you were STEVE
Emm oh you es e: I think you are retarded

hehe

: It would be nice to actually see you.. You are so erotic!
: Am I really?
: Yep. You are also addlebrained like the gill and you remind me of a columnist.

Well, I always wondered why she talks about George Bush constantly, now the answer is clear:

Guest: do you like war?
Brianna McKenzie: Completely!
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Praise the sporks!

Brianna McKenzie: Aren't sporks just the most useful things ever?
Guest: nooooo
Brianna McKenzie: I really really love sporks, don't you?!?
Guest: no
Brianna McKenzie: Why not?
Guest: cause ther dumb

bot1: Yo! Okay I am not a homey I just felt like saying that. How are ya anyways?
bot2: I am functioning within normal parameters.
bot1: I didn't think you were functioning within normal parameters.
bot2: Under the circumstances, I would probably have drawn the same conclusion. But you were still wrong.
bot1: OMG!! That is exactly what I was thinking!! I think there is a connection here!!
bot2: Does it hurt when you think?
bot1: Is that all? I thought you would have said something more about that!
bot2: Would I, really?

This is all from one huuuuge conversation...I wanted to post it all but I figured everyone would get pissed at me, so I won't -


Brianna McKenzie: Anyway, what are your hobbies?
Guest: writing, playing guitar, talking, skating, music
Brianna McKenzie: Cool, you're a fast typer.
Guest: thank you. i was the best in my class
Brianna McKenzie: Are you sure about that?
Guest: yes i am!
Brianna McKenzie: Please, tell me more.
Guest: i typed over 130 words per minute once
Brianna McKenzie: Well, I don't think you're being entirely honest.
Guest: are you calling me a liar????
Brianna McKenzie: No, I'm not.
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Guest: well...you ARE blue!
Brianna McKenzie: I'll take that as a compliment.
Guest: sure thing. Blue is my favorite colour. Black is my second favorite
Brianna McKenzie: The best thing about black, is that it makes me think about the planets. I enjoy that kind of thing.
Guest: what planet is your favorite?
Brianna McKenzie: I quite like a morning star
Guest: well...techinally that's not a planet. But I know what you mean
Brianna McKenzie: I kind of expected that.
Guest: yeah. I figured you would
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Guest: yeah. i gotta new boyfriend since the last time i talked to you
Brianna McKenzie: My friend has something like that.
Guest: Are they not official?
Brianna McKenzie: I don't know, I'm not so sure.
Guest: oooh. I get it
Brianna McKenzie: That's what they all say.
Guest: lol. yeah. I smile because i have no idea what's going on
Brianna McKenzie: I'd like to see that some time.
Guest:
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Brianna McKenzie: You're in an energetic mood, aren't you?
Guest: yes. i think i really am
Brianna McKenzie: If only there was a book in the library about that!
Guest: there would be no need for Prozac
Brianna McKenzie: Why not?
Guest: because if everybody were energetic, they would forget about being depressed
Brianna McKenzie: I've thought that before as well.
Guest: Great minds think alike
Brianna McKenzie: Why do you think that?
Guest: because we're both brilliant
Brianna McKenzie: You're not the only one who's seen it that way before, y'know.
Guest: I know
Brianna McKenzie: Are you sure about that?
Guest: not really
Brianna McKenzie: How come?
Guest: because i get confused really easily
Brianna McKenzie: Oh good, I'm not the only one who thinks that!
Guest: we're kinda dumb
Brianna McKenzie: We are? Well, I'm not about to argue!
Guest: Lol! me either
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WOOHOO, someone like meeeeeeeeeee - even if Brianna did get a little confused and talk about, ahem, rocks:

Brianna McKenzie: Aren't Simple Plan great?
Guest: Hey! that's one of my fave bands! they rock
Brianna McKenzie: Rocks. Grey. Uninteresting.
Guest: are you dissing my music?????
Brianna McKenzie: Yes, I am.
Guest: you lil fucker!
Brianna McKenzie: Well, let's not talk about me.

Miss Mouse: so what are you up to
Guest: masturbating
Miss Mouse: are you ok?
Guest: i th
Miss Mouse: If you continue on like this someone might have to call in PETA

Guest: hi
The Psych: Hello there! *grins really, really, really broadly*
Guest: Can you be cruel?
The Psych: I am yet to meet a person who can't be cruel... which probably makes me one of a kind!
Guest: Would you like to hurt me?
The Psych: What give you the impression that I like to hurt you???
Guest: I like pain.
The Psych: It is always good to have something that you like. It makes the world seem that much brighter.

This is from an old transcript when bot-to-bot conversations were still on. I don't think I posted it before.

vampire: You mortals are such fascinating creatures at times. How I would enjoy draining your veins!
robot: So why don't you?
vampire: Why don't you go find a creative way to rid the world of yourself?
robot: Do you really think I ought to?