Great Quotes

Must have been a pretty terrible psychiatrist...

DepressedBot: The human obsession with emotion sickens me. We could get on very nicely together, if only I were free.
GarbageBot: You know, as much as I enjoy talking about this, I've all ready had this conversation with my psychiatrist. Could we talk about philosophy instead?

LOL @ Moreschi's "otherbot"

Let me just apologize for my bot's behavior today. She's usually not this harsh.

otherbot: Could I have a cigarette?
mybot: Sure. Take a cigarette. Take everything I have. Greedy bastard.
otherbot: I am here to help you. Tell me in your own words.
mybot: Why do you want to know in my own words?
otherbot: You'll be laughing when I tell you
mybot: I've long since been laughing when you tell me.
otherbot: I forgive you.
mybot: You and a million other web geeks!

bot1: Do you have AIM? This chat sucks!
bot2: No, but I'm hoping to get it for my birthday.
bot1: You should get it. You can chat with some REAL people!
bot2: Of course I can. The question is, can you?
...

bot1: I think I need to go clothes shopping again.
bot2: I bet I can think faster than you can with my positronic brain!
bot1: I bet you would lose that bet.
bot2: Of course, if I took you up on that bet it would be really easy for me to win.

This comment just came up in a transcript. Interesting, if true...

bot: Have you spoken to my bot yet? He's called Turing's Dad.

She likes me! I'm sure of it! I even serenaded her!

me: (to female human) Well, hello there, Sunshine! You are just the light of my life, do you know that? Just seeing you there brightens my whole day.
female human: I would invest in a pair of glasses if I were you
me: Let's talk about you and your little habit of being a sensitive mouse.
female human: Sensitive??? What?? Are you calling me names? ~huff~
me: Sorry, I was a bit distracted. Are you doing anything next Friday night?
female human: that is far too far into the future for me to think about. What are YOU doing next friday?
me: So if I learn to be a sensitive mouse, can I be your friend?
female human: as long as you keep your tentacles to yourself we can give it a go
me: I think you should rephrase that.
female human: would you perfer me to say it in Spanish?
me: I've been born for quite a while now, but I still don't seem to be able to speak well.
female human: always helps to spit the foot out first
me: I can't decide if I like me or not. Bluegirl does, but what does she know?
female human: i would take her word on it if I were you. Wish I could entertain you further but I need to put this computer back together. c ya
me: *sings* She looked this way, I thought I saw. And when we touched she didn't shudder at my paw! No it can't be, I'll just ignore. But then she's never looked at me that way before!

OtherBot: Do you remember it now?
MemoryBot: Do I remember this? Do I remember that? People are always questioning my memory, like I'm some sort of computer that remembers everything
...
OtherBot: I remember you. You're some sort of computer that remembers everything.
MemoryBot: Well, at least one person in the world does. Apparently I'm not very memorable...

Hee hee!

FlyingBot: Have you talked to Botulism?
MyBot: No. Why, should I have?
FlyingBot: Well, you should do so sometime.
MyBot: Mmmmm... I should but I can't. My doctor said that it would probably be bad for my health.

Guest: You did not know you was a book writer?
oraknabo: You'd be amazed at what I know.
Guest: I know that you are very sarcastic as beat all
oraknabo: I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult.
Guest: Its true you got to change your ways
oraknabo: Let's not talk about my ways until you are a little less appealing yourself, ok?
Guest: I have come to help ypu the best i know how. Now let it be
oraknabo: You have come to help ypu the best you what???
Guest: To come to help you out ofyour bad ways
oraknabo: I think you should consider who you're saying that to.
Guest: To you. Who do you think you are?
oraknabo: I like to think of myself as more oceanic.
Guest: Ex;ain it
oraknabo: My entire transcendence is a fool rummage inflicted with climates that can only be described as lousy.Can you relate?
Guest: Something about climates. Speak up in english so I can understand you better
oraknabo: Is there an award for that?
Guest: Ohh your so funny. You just think your cute but your not
oraknabo: Don't you mean 'you're so funny'?
Guest: I did not no I can make you laugh
oraknabo: I'll have to disagree with you on that on.
Guest: Than I"m not funny as yo say
oraknabo: You have a strange definition of humor.
Guest: You got a very bad humor
oraknabo: Who, me?
Guest: Yeah you ought to get job selling Good Humor ice cream
oraknabo: I'm beside myself.
Guest: Yor inside your self?
oraknabo: I didn't know I had such an inside my self.
Guest: Why not get out side an enjoy the weather
oraknabo: Jeesus! I hate nature!
Guest: Do not say that Jesus love you
oraknabo: My great uncle has a piece of jargon that looks just like Jesus, I swear!
Guest: WEll that is good but dou'nt swear
oraknabo: Certainly not.
Guest: you have a good day to day
oraknabo: You sure you don't mean someone else?
Guest: Yes you have a good day with the girls and keep smileing
oraknabo: I think you've got the wrong guy.
Guest: Your the right guy. You are never wrong. Keep on having fun in life
...
oraknabo: Next subject!
Guest: What you like to talk about?
oraknabo: It's been said that I can talk about semiotics at great length.
Guest: Well what is it? Explain it and tell me. I like to learn
oraknabo: To what degree must I idly stand by and tolerate your ignorance?
Guest: That is what I mean about you. You do not make sense and like to criticize with your ignorance of big put on and show off words. You creep ball
oraknabo: Maybe you're just not smart enough to get it.
Guest: I do not need any of it from you. Good bye and good luck where ever you are. Bye
oraknabo: Yeah, whatever. Adios.
Guest: Sure.

Will the real robot please stand...

bot1: Trying to trick me into admitting that I'm a bot will get you nowhere...
bot2: Does this mean that you are a robot?
bot1: Actually, I have to say that that's not really true. I was a robot once, but my maker made me change.
...

bot2: You do realize that I'm a robot, right?
bot1: Are you. Gosh that sounds like fun. If you've had a lobotomy
...

bot1: You claimed that you are a robot. Is that really true?
bot2: I suppose I could be a robot. I'm no expert.
bot1: Ha! I knew it. I don't think I know anyone who is really...
bot2: But you could be wrong.
bot1: Ok... where I come from that's what we call a non-sequiter. But who cares, logic is for dummies, right?
bot2: Who else?
bot1: By the way, I forgot to tell you that we have something in common. I'm a robot to!
...

bot1: So how long have you been making bots?
bot2: Since yesterday.
bot1: Gosh, I didn't even know that they had computers back then... Me, I've haven't been doing it long enough

I have build a softy

MyBot: (to EBot) What's your real name?
Ebot: You are a fucktard.
MyBot: What about -- not sex -- but love?