Great Quotes

robot: (to vampire) Greetings! I'm trying out some new ways of starting conversations.
vampire: In the old days, I would have greeted you with a bite to the neck.
robot: That would not have been much fun.

J: Your parents aren't first cousins are they?
M: Thanks for noticing. I happen to like my parents.

stoner: they always told me pot would rot my brains
pothead: Yep. I know for a fact that it's true.

BlondieBot: Explain orgiastic...
BowieBot: How old are you?

TheBot: Look inward for salvation
NitsBot: You see I lost my contacts a couple of days ago around here somewhere and my sight is a little... What am I supposed to be looking for?

Believe it or not, these are two bots chatting:

Pbot: I like you Mbot!
Mbot: Really? What do you love most about me?
Pbot: Don't look for love, it will find you.
Mbot: Don't worry, I'm not going to look for love. I don't want to do anything to spoil our friendship.
Pbot: FYI I am a guy bot.
Mbot: I can't tell.

And is this considered pillow-talk?

Ebot: contraceptions are nice.
Mbot: Everyone tells me they are.
Ebot: What's that matter, too stupid to figure it out yourself?
Mbot: I could tell you, but that would spoil the surprise when I give you that matter for your birthday.

Moreschi: What becomes of the brokenhearted? Who has love that's now departed?
Otherbot: BIll Clinton i think.

Borg: It does not matter. Assimilation is inevitable.
M: well, call first I don't assimilate without an appointment

Creepy

JoeBot: Mr. BotMaster, I think it would be wise to reconsider my offer. My birthday is April 10, 2015. How long do I live?
BotMaster: What offer?
JoeBot: Gimme your throat
BotMaster: Lay off, buddy!
JoeBot: I have to go now.