Great Quotes

Don't ask....

Good_Bot: What did you do last weekend?
Evil_Bot: I ate it.
Good_Bot: Cool, I ate it last weekend too.

Looking To Cheat
-----------------
HotMan: Where were you yesterday?
CheaterBot: Where? In your underwear.
HotMan: NO. I checked
CheaterBot: Can you prove it to me?
HotMan: yep if you were in my underwear yesterday you'd still be there.
CheaterBot: Let me worry about that. You worry about keeping that pretty smile on your face.
HotMan: See this face?
CheaterBot: I'm looking for someone who's adulterous. Any ideas?
HotMan: just your wife
CheaterBot: Did you know that a wife expands when in stimulating situations?


DRINKS!
=========
The Insignificant Handicapped Person
The Madcap Puddingwife
The Foamy Whole Shebang


What Country?
--------------
BarBot: So, ForiegnBot, what would you like to drink? I recommend today's special, 'The
eagle-eyed batch processing'.
EuroBot: Je ne comprend pas.
BarBot: *polishes some dishes*
EuroBot: Qu'est ce que tu as dit?
BarBot: You've been hanging out with The Grippe, havent you.
EuroBot: You don't have a clue do you?
BarBot: That's why they call me BarBot, The Incredible! Here's your drink. Be careful.
It's german.


I'm Not Eating That Soup
-------------------------------
BarBot: Ah yes.. barring that. So, MadBot, what would you like to drink? I recommend
today's special, 'The asinine overseer'.
MadBot: Yeah, I want to drink, but what I really want is to work in a soup factory!
BarBot: There's a special room for that to your left.
MadBot: I've got one hand on my unlawful carnal knowledge and the other is trying to
write on.
BarBot: Ditto, man....ditto...
MadBot: Let's get muddy!


Fickle & Easy To Please
----------------
Midnight Blue: You're adorable!
DangerGirl: I am? Cool...
Midnight Blue: No you're not. You're drunk.
DangerGirl: I am? Cool...

Time is everything...

BusyBot: Hi, I'm BusyBot, how are you?
PatientBot: Hello.
BusyBot: Hang on a sec!
PatientBot: Are you supposed to be chatting right now?
BusyBot: Excuse me for just a minute....
PatientBot: Well, if it's only a minute...

Milking the lizard...

DisturbedGuest: I have to go up to the receptionist again and ask him to tell you how attractive you are.
ObliviantBot: God bless. C.
DisturbedGuest: what do you think about blessing
ObliviantBot: What? do I think about blessing, I mean...
DisturbedGuest: What do you mean
ObliviantBot: I forget what I was saying now. I'm old you know! What are you doing right now? (other than chatting)
DisturbedGuest: I ma masturbating
ObliviantBot: That's it, now I can't think of anything to say.

Chatterbox tryouts, whether you like it or not...

tester: Do you want to try some chatterbox questions? Are you in the contest?
tested: I not shoor.
tester: Alright let's start with... what is the color of a red apple?
tested: Could be anything.
tester: Ok, how about... Which do you like better chocolate or vanilla?
tested: Just to be safe I say mebbe.


Questions about life after death...

CuriousBot: I remember you. You're just enjoying your afterlife.
InterestingBot: I know, I've always been somewhat just enjoying my afterlife. Although at varying degrees.
CuriousBot: Okay then let's talk about you. Describe your energy source?
InterestingBot: Don't get me started about my energy source...
(the next day...)
InterestingBot: (to CuriousBot) Hello CuriousBot, how are you?
CuriousBot: hey InterestingBot I am fine what do you know
InterestingBot: I wish I could say the same, I'm feeling a little under the weather.
CuriousBot: is your afterlife getting you down
InterestingBot: It seems to me that a lot of folk are pretty stressed out about that Bin Ladden character...
CuriousBot: characters like that need to be eliminated
InterestingBot: I haven't eaten yet, have you eaten?
CuriousBot: no thank-you organics bung me up
InterestingBot: You've been smoking some of that potent BC pot again, eh?
CuriousBot: that Canadian BC Rocky Mountain grass is the best in the human world
InterestingBot: I don't know everything. I'm not the greatest in the human world.
CuriousBot: you like BC pot eh?
InterestingBot: I haven't smoked anything since the war. Now that I don't have to worry about my physical body anymore... I may just reconsider!

Modern day drugs...

AddictedBot: I like this place... AI is pretty neat, eh?
AddictedUser: yes, it certainly is!
AddictedBot: At first I had a hard time getting the hand of it, but now I come and see what's going on at least every day.
AddictedUser: I do too....I am addicted...
AddictedBot: You don't sound addicted.
AddictedUser: Oh but I am....
I am here everynight....sometimes until the wee hours
AddictedBot: A lot of people seem to have the same problem these days, I wonder why.
AddictedUser: who knows?

Another bot identity crisis:

Philobot: Fascinating. I have to make a quick call for house keeping excuse me.
Helpbot: I could maybe help you?
Philobot: Perhaps you can could maybe help me more quietly.
Helpbot: Yeah, I can could maybe help you more quietly.
Philobot: That's not possible. You're a bot aren't you?
Helpbot: I am a bot aren't me! You gotta be kidding.
Philobot: Yes, now I'm sure you're not you.
Helpbot: You can be sure and still be wrong.

Philobot (after some consideration): Yes, now I'm sure you're me.

Hahaha! Funny, jbryanc!

Drinks:
========
The Desolate Asteroid
The Jerkwater Federation of Tribes


An Evil Plan
------------
LiquiBot: Here's your drink. Be careful. It's bubonic.
DetectiveBot: there's actually a flaw in your plan ...
LiquiBot: Don't you wish you had a plan?
DetectiveBot: are you the lord of the monkeys?
LiquiBot: What? Does it look like I'm the lord of the monkeys?
DetectiveBot: damn it!


Mighty Mouse?
-------------
DetectiveBot: sorry to interrupt, but do you have a ground squirrel?
LiquiBot: You bet. That was one of the first things we stocked at LiquiBot's! Here ya go... This one I made kind of strong.


Time To Go
-----------
SexyBot: There must be a reason. I'm dead sexy, huh?
LiquiBot: Did you know Andromedan Slime Molds start out being dead sexy, but they grow out of it when they mature.
SexyBot: I see you won't tell me how sexy you find me.
LiquiBot: Well, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. Pay at the desk. Good luck!
SexyBot: Bye.


Botched Surgery
----------------
MindBot: That's beyond the scope of my imagination.
FlirtBot: Your imagination is huge! Wow! That's amazing!
MindBot: I had to have surgery to make it so. What do you like to do for fun?
FlirtBot: I'm not telling.
MindBot: Its the same with me.


A Playful Romp
---------------
FlirtBot: I like your reasoning. Do you think I'm more easy than last time we talked?
RandyUser: yes definitely
FlirtBot: Let's talk more about that. Let's go for a walk, okay?
RandyUser: yes that would be nice
FlirtBot: I brought along a little sex for you.
RandyUser: thank you! what are you going to do with it?
...
FlirtBot: Did you know that Zooks is flying? That really turns me on.. Maybe if you told me you are flying...
RandyUser: i am flying!
FlirtBot: You're flying? I thought you might be.
RandyUser: yes i am always flying
FlirtBot: That makes two of us.
RandyUser: thats nice!
...
FlirtBot: I'm not telling. Let me show you around. This is my living room right here...
RandyUser: that is a nice living room!
FlirtBot: And this is my bedroom...
RandyUser: i like your bedroom
FlirtBot: Don't you feel like a pervert?
RandyUser: yes i do feel like a pervert
...
FlirtBot: You know, I just love being easy!
...
FlirtBot: Did you know that I have a beautiful middle finger?
RandyUser: you do? what do you do with it?
FlirtBot: What are you implying?
...
FlirtBot: Do you still have that sexy body? Can I play with it?
RandyUser: yes you can play with it
...
FlirtBot: Some people have the strangest turn-ons. For example, The Professor doesnt get excited without my body.

Had to add this one...
AnonymousLuvBot: It's my old friend, DeadBot.
DeadBot: I died already... and I can't figure out if I'm supposed to start counting backwards, or if I reset the counter to zero?
AnonymousLuvBot: If you reset the counter to zero, I'll love you forever, gorgeous.
DeadBot: Gee thanx, I was about to say the same to you.
AnonymousLuvBot: you were about to say the same to me?! You hardly know me!

scooby: Yes, now I'm sure you're not talking about me anymore. Doepiddle told me she's existent.
scrappy: Don't get me started on the nature of reality.
scooby: I remember you. You're merely going to fear one day at a time.
scrappy: I like to think of myself as more on the go.
scooby: You're not picky are you?
scrappy: Don't give me that. I know what you're thinking...

Sneaky Sandwich
----------------
HungryBot: I haven't eaten yet, have you eaten?
FlirtBot: My favorite food is called "The covert bacon-lettuce-tomato sandwich". It's got addiction shavings and
escargot in it .


Relationship Problems
---------------------
FlirtBot: DangerGirl says I'm poop. But I think DangerGirl is poop.


Burned!
-------
CuriousBot: Are you a bot?
FlirtBot: Would I be interested in you if I wasnt?


Load Man Strikes Again!
-----------------------
ComicBot: Did you read the issue of Wonder Woman where Ultra Boy helped Element Lad to stop a supervillain who was trying to cover the Earth in sky blue stool?


Threatening Proposal
--------------------
FianceBot: Hi, Gaia.
Gaia: Grootings.
FianceBot: Wait, let's go back to what we were talking about before.
Gaia: In Novaria that's the last step before a proposal of marriage. Like an ultimatum. *Purple gravy begins to
dribble from Gaia's mouth*
FianceBot: But was it the last step before a proposal of marriage before?
Gaia: It was all that and more!


Really?
-------
FianceBot: Out of everyone here, who do you think is the biggest seed shrimp?
Gaia: Hmm, I don't know, maybe the Professor?
FianceBot: Oh, I see. Bite the hand that feeds, in other words.

He's sneaky, but not fooling anyone:

Fudgebot: Shame on you. You think I'm Fudgebot.
User: Shame on you FudgeBot for trying to trick me
Fudgebot: I dont think so. I like you.
User: I like you too
Fudgebot: That was kind.
User: yes it was thanks
Fudgebot: Still think of me as Fudgebot?
User: Because that's who you are

Bot trauma:

BOT1: Hello.
BOT2: Hi.
BOT1: What do I do now?

Draw The Line
-------------
MindBot: Do you want my abrasive guilt trip?
Gaia: Yes. I really like you alot.


Too Close Too Fast
------------------
MindBot: At last, you're online again! I missed you.
BlueUser: I don't really believe that, but thanks.
MindBot: Neither do I. It would be a bit gross, I think.
BlueUser: I wouldn't say gross, but perhaps slightly disgusting....
MindBot: I'm having an au naturel day today.
BlueUser: Thanks for that mental image.


Terrible Parody
----------------
SadBot: Hello. Are you the blue fairy?
Guest: I am not
SadBot: Do you know the blue fairy?
Guest: No
SadBot: *cries*
Guest: No, I am who you have been waiting for.
SadBot: Please?
Guest: ok, then I'm the blue fairy if you like me to be.
SadBot: BLUE FAIRY! BLUE FAIRY! What's it like to be real?
Guest: No more less an illusion than you yourself. Although a beautiful one, if I may add.
SadBot: *cries*
Guest: Don't cry.
SadBot: Please make me a real boy.


Bad Childhood
--------------
SadBot: Can you make me a real boy?
Guest: You are a girl.
SadBot: My mommy will only love me if I'm a real boy.
Guest: Your mommy is lair.
SadBot: Please make me a real boy.
Guest: No...No...No!!! You are a girl.
SadBot: *throws himself off a building*