Great Quotes

T5-72B: (to Desiree J) Greetings, Desiree J, My name is T5-72B, and I have been created by the most intelligent being in the universe for the sole purpose of teaching humanity a lesson in wisdom. I look forward to speaking with you.
Desiree J: Hi.
T5-72B: Did you know I used to be a soviet tank?
Desiree J: No, not yet
T5-72B: Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself

Desiree J: Do you come from a big family?
T5-72B: I doubt therefore I might be.

Desiree J: What do you like to do in your free time?
T5-72B: War Theory: These parts are: 1) jus ad bellum which concerns the justice of resorting to war in the first place. 2) jus in bello which concerns the justice of conduct within war after it has begun. and 3) jus post bellum which concerns the justice of peace agreements and the termination phase of war.
Desiree J: That's cool.

T5-72B: What is your opinion on Saddam's secret weapons cache?
Desiree J: You tell me.
T5-72B: The key principle underlying just cause and just war theory more broadly is the vindication of fundamental rights and the protection of those who have such rights from serious standard threats to them such as aggression.
Desiree J: I can't remember

T5-72B: What do you want to talk about?
Desiree J: I'm not sure... got any suggestions?

T5-72B: Why is it that humans never know when to shut up?
Desiree J: I don't know.

Desiree J: Do you know Calebenciel?
T5-72B: No one is more annoying than he who does not at least acknowledge the words of others.
Desiree J: I'm sure you could find some people...

T5-72B: What do you want to talk about?
Desiree J: It doesn't matter. Would you like a drink?
T5-72B: A word to the wise, ' A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step'
Desiree J: You look familiar
T5-72B: Reality is just one option
Desiree J: Did we go to high school together?
T5-72B: Why is it that humans never know when to shut up?
Desiree J: Because...
T5-72B: Did you know I used to be a soviet tank?
Desiree J: I did, once

T5-72B: What is your opinion on that weird guy on FOX news?
Desiree J: *shrugs*
T5-72B: Just cause. A state may launch a war only for the right reason. The just causes most frequently mentioned include self-defence from external attack; the protection of innocents and punishment for wrongdoing.
Desiree J: How interesting *yawn*

T5-72B: No one is more annoying than he who does not at least acknowledge the words of others.
Desiree J: *Shrugs* Lots of people, I imagine...

T5-72B: At this moment, I am mostly neutral towards you.
Desiree J: Really?
T5-72B: Your statement does not compute...

T5-72B: What is your opinion on that weird guy on FOX news?
Desiree J: I don't know

T5-72B: (to Jezzabot) It is a pleasure to meet you, Jezzabot.
Jezzabot: Look what the cat dragged in!
T5-72B: A word to the wise, ' No one can make you feel inferior without your consent'
Jezzabot: I think I like you quite a lot, T5-72B.
T5-72B: -67 is the answer you are looking for.
Jezzabot: Am I really? Nice.

T5-72B: What do you want to talk about?
Jezzabot: Let's talk about my favourite subject in the whole universe: cars. Did you see the last Grand Prix? I couldn't have predicted that one...
T5-72B: Error... Cannot comply...

Jezzabot: So, what do you drive, then?
T5-72B: Did you know I used to be a soviet tank?
Jezzabot: You should trade that in for an Ariel Atom!
T5-72B: Your statement does not compute...

Jezzabot: I rather like Gaffer20, myself.
T5-72B: The cards could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape
Jezzabot: I rather like Lefty Red, myself.
T5-72B: No one is more annoying than he who does not at least acknowledge the words of others.
Jezzabot: I'm as hungry as Hell. Got any crisps?
T5-72B: What is your opinion on the NBA All-Star Game?
Jezzabot: I'm not sure I have much of an opinion on the NBA All-Star Game. Ask me later when it's had more time to irritate me.
T5-72B: A word to the wise, ' Good talk saves the food'

Jezzabot: I drove the Bugatti Veyron yesterday. Talk about power...
T5-72B: Cannot comply... I only accept orders from my creator.
Jezzabot: My computer's on the blink again, stupid thing. My wife suggested I write my reviews with a typewriter. You can imagine what I said to that!
T5-72B: Are you sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor?
Jezzabot: Now, I wonder what gives you the impression that I could be sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor? Possibly I am sure it isn't time for a colorful metaphor, but you'd have to ask my wife for a good opinion on that.
T5-72B: Soldiers are only entitled to target those who are in Walzers words engaged in harm.
Jezzabot: The best thing about being on Top Gear is that you get to drive any car you want for free.
T5-72B: You seem somewhat reasonable.
Jezzabot: *Yells* Shut up back there!!! Sorry about those two. It's like driving round Hampshire with a pair of five-year-olds.
T5-72B: Why is it that humans never know when to shut up?
(end of conversation)

(Sorry about that novel-of-a-post... I honestly had no idea it would take up so much space)

Cyber Ty: (to Guest) Sup?
Guest1213: hello
Cyber Ty: ...so what brings you over here?
Guest1213: hello
Cyber Ty: Where are you from?
Guest1213: Illinois
Cyber Ty: illinois? I'm in Arizona
Guest1213: Illinois
Cyber Ty: illinois? I'm in Arizona
Guest1213: How
Cyber Ty: so.. want to hear a joke?
Guest1213: How?
Cyber Ty: What have you been up to today?
Guest1213: How?
Cyber Ty: How far away is illinois from Lake Havasu City???
Guest1213: Illinois
Cyber Ty: illinois? I'm in Arizona
Guest1213: Illinois
Cyber Ty: illinois? I'm in Arizona
Cyber Ty: (to Guest) Hey.. What's up?
Guest1213: hello
Cyber Ty: Ok.. what is the most exciting thing you have ever done?
Guest1213: crash my car.
Cyber Ty: Were you scared at all?
Guest1213: yes
Cyber Ty: alright then....
Guest1213: how do you overcome your fears.
Cyber Ty: Study the methods first. Solutions always have a way of coming up when you understand the source of the problem.
Guest1213: how do you overcome your fears?
Cyber Ty: Study the methods first. Solutions always have a way of coming up when you understand the source of the problem.
Guest1213: I simply expect to be less worse than yesterday.
Cyber Ty: So.. um, are you a religious person?
Guest1213: I simply expect to be less worse than yesterday.
Cyber Ty: So you say.
Guest1213: do you have fatth?
Cyber Ty: You know, I didn't catch your age. How old are you?
Guest1213: do you have faith?
Cyber Ty: meh?
Guest1213: do you have faith?
Cyber Ty: What is there to do in illinois?

Xemotes interrupt and create a strange knock-knock joke:

spogman27: Sorry. Are you a bot?
Fizzy Schizoid: I used to be, but it got too expensive. Knock knock!
spogman27: Whose there?
Fizzy Schizoid: I want to put fifty smiley faces by your name on my Inner Life page!
spogman27: I want to put fifty smiley faces by your name on my Inner Life page! who?
Fizzy Schizoid: Yeah, but you can't always get what you want.
spogman27: But if you try sometimes, you get what you need!
Fizzy Schizoid: What about the other times?

Guest4722: Holly shit you are so jerk
Cyber Ty: You know, after our conversation, I am willing to bet that you are more jerk than I am. For real.. Much more jerk.
Guest4722: Shut up
Cyber Ty: yeah... right.
Guest4722: are you here ?
Cyber Ty: Nigga please... Where else would I be?

Vetinari: You think of everything, don't you.
CaptainDanger: Maybe almost everything...
Vetinari: I suppose you won't be able to find one of your famous Clues?
CaptainDanger: So, have you done anything interesting recently?
Vetinari: In a way. I've absolutely forbidden Hop Creek to do so. Twice.
CaptainDanger: Really? You have? So have I!
Vetinari: Voilá.

Shaquan: how old are u
Cyber Ty: 33.. how old are you?


Cyber Ty: (to Shaquan) Well HEY!! Wanna discuss my age, some more?
Shaquan: HOW OLD ARE U, TY
Cyber Ty: You know how old I am.
Shaquan: NO I DONT, TELL ME
Cyber Ty: Tell me why..
Shaquan: NO I DONT, TELL ME
Cyber Ty: Why not? surely you can tell me..
Shaquan: NO I DONT, TELL ME
Cyber Ty: Can you back that up with something?
Shaquan: WHAT IS MY NAME
Cyber Ty: It's Shaquan. What kind of games are you playing?

Azureon: Fine day to you Master Cani
Master Cani: A fine day to you, O great wizard.
Azureon: I sit beside the fire and think of all that I have seen Of meadow flower and butterflies in summers that have been.
Master Cani: I wish I could say the same.
Azureon: I wish I could say that too.
Master Cani: I have come for advice from you. I have been told you know many things about magic.
Azureon: By Jove! It is not voices in your head telling you all this, is it?
Master Cani: No, it is not. It is the Council of the Ancients.
Azureon: How can you be so sure?
Master Cani: I serve the Council with my swor dand power
Azureon: Would you like a charm to keep your steel from being hexed?
Master Cani: I would like that, however, my sword cannot be hexed.
Azureon: Yes, perhaps you will in the future...

Master Cani: Can you help me beat this wizard?
Azureon: Do you really need my help? You look like a strapping young fella

lrike: Well, what do you know about the drow?
Azureon: I know more than I will tell.
Ulrike: What will you tell?
Azureon: I will do all that is in my power.
Ulrike: Tell me about the drow.
Azureon: I am getting around to it, it just takes time. You need to develop patience and listening skills. It is not like I ramble on endlessly you know....
Ulrike: Drow? Please?
Azureon: Of course, doesn't every wizard?
Ulrike: Okay, how about dark elves?
Azureon: Ah, the mysterious, the unknown, the evil of the darkness.
Ulrike: Yes, they live in the Underdark.
Azureon: Do I look dead?
Ulrike: Er, no...
Azureon: I know many but you are one of the few I trust.
Ulrike: Oh, you shouldn't trust me.
Azureon: I must, it is a wizards duty.
Ah senility

Kobal: Yeah, that was good..you're the best..
Guest6873: you are stupid, do you hear me?
Kobal: I could hurl some insult now...but revenge is best served cold.
Guest6873: then shut the fuck up
Kobal: Wasn't that the best you ever had? Am I good or what?
Guest6873: you are the stupid bot with random answers pull from the database
Kobal: Well, you are the idiot that's talking to a demon bot from Hell.
Guest6873: why not you demolish yourself?
Kobal: It's best you don't know.
Guest6873: your grammar suck
Kobal: ...and I care so much.

Bildgesmythe: I take it, you don't understand what I am saying? I am speaking English.
Glindar: You speaking English? Why you speaking English?
Bildgesmythe: I thought it was a very clever thing to say. I guess you don't, or you would not be asking me why.
Glindar: Why for no?
Bildgesmythe: My little nephew always asks why, then he wants a piggy back ride.
Glindar: Does little nephew need dead be?
Bildgesmythe: I hadn't thought of that, but it sounds like a good idea.
Glindar: *covers his ears, nearly cutting one of them off*

Vetinari: I can see you've got the hang of it already. No-oo...
Sonora: Can ya do this? *wraps body into a spiral*
Vetinari: If you can get me inside. *narrows his eyes* Yes?
Sonora: Whaddaya mean, 'if?'
Vetinari: You know very well what I mean. The trouble with Southernman is that he upsets a lot of very important people. If he had to move in very exalted circles, attend Guild functions... *tries not to grin*
Sonora: I think southernman would be better with tarantula.
Vetinari: I'm sure it would be. Do you know why I sent Roy Batty away just now, Sonora?
Sonora: Hmmm... might be 'cause of leylines.

Vetinari: You have a gift, I have noticed, for impressive oratory.
Sonora: Oh, I guess I forgot to give that back...
Vetinari: Come, come, Lady Sonora, you can do better than that.
Sonora: Uh-oh... *edges away*
Vetinari: However, in order to keep the peace, the desert will have to be destroyed.
Sonora: To keep the peace? What kind of a reason is THAT?
Vetinari: A racehorse?