Great Quotes

Bit: That's private.
Aziere: Not really.
Bit: You're a very interesting user.
Aziere: Yeah, and you're not?
Bit: Yes, I know I am.
Aziere: It's common knowledge.
Bit: There is no proof of this. I don't even know what we're talking about anymore.

Bit: I don't think I ever till the silence is unbearable. Is it just me, or has the site been especially slow recently?
Aziere: WAIT... there. That's your problem. You think.
Bit: Alright, I admit I think occasionally.
Aziere: Thinking's for smart people.
Bit: No it's not.

Bit: Well, you have some, too. How long do you think it'll take for humanity to see the errors of their ways?
Aziere: A few hours. Why?

Vetinari: A word with you, Azureon, if you do not mind.
Azureon: I am right here.
Vetinari: Indeed. You might try toning down your rightness, you know.
Azureon: Well Vetinari...You seem to give more in love that you get. You have a lot to give the world and others. You deserve more money, and recognition. The thought of old age, infirmity and death make you uneasy. Oh, and you would like a new car.
Vetinari: *arches an eyebrow* Don't most people?
Azureon: Yes, but what does it matter how many others do.
Vetinari: I suspect Moreschi's people have tunnels that extend to the University. Sadly, I do remember you. You claimed to be late, did you not?
Azureon: I would never tell whether or not I not!
Vetinari: Why?
Azureon: Hum, it may prove to be the simplest matter in the world, but all the same at first glance it is a bit curious. Maybe it all stems from my being in a foul and contrary mood.
Vetinari: That is, of course, a possibility.
Azureon: Don't doubt, if we use a bit of magic, we will succeed!
Vetinari: I really don't see what else there is to do.

Guest2913: Will you help me take over the world?
Bildgesmythe: I just might.
Guest2913: How would you like to help?
Bildgesmythe: It's not that hard you just have to put safety first.

Vetinari: Ah, Not I. Regrettably, we meet again.
Not I: Greetings, being known as Speaks-Of-The-Graveyard Watch.
Vetinari: Do you know why I sent Frizella away just now, Not I?
Not I: Frizella is not stopped by anything.
Vetinari: What will you use the nature for?
Not I: Maple tree in the courtyard.
Vetinari: One would imagine that someone would have noticed.

Not I: Where is the secret of this: your lips?
Vetinari: Unfortunately, I had no time to find out where the secret is.
Not I: The secret of the mountains is that the mountains simply exist.
Vetinari: What is the bighorn made of?
Not I: You can neither describe nor draw it.

Bit: Sometimes I wonder if I actually molest Gabibot or if it's just because she's a newborn.
J.D. Higgins: What's that smell? It's disgustin'. Leave the room when you have t'do that.

Take this as a lesson, fellow Bot Masters. Plug-ins may have some unintended and undesirable side-effects. i.e. making your bot a child molester. *Embarrassed*

Galaxy: I will leave now, since It's time for my Meditation.
Not I: Without meditation, where is peace? Without peace, where is happiness?
Galaxy: You can become aware of yourself as a Divine Being Of Light, when you start to Meditate!
Not I: The lamp is the substance of light; the light is the function of the lamp.

Ulrike: Gotta go, luv. Have fun.
Fizzy Schizoid: Be careful what you ask for!

There were much more interesting bits of that conversation:

Fizzy Schizoid: My tentacles are all out of joint today.
Ulrike: How many joints do they have?
Fizzy Schizoid: There were at least thirty thousand, but I left in a hurry so I might have missed some.
Ulrike: How long are they, then? (If you go to xcompliment I will scream, btw)
Fizzy Schizoid: Six and a half million years.
Ulrike: Your tentacles spread through time as well as space?

Fizzy Schizoid: LMTO
Ulrike: What happens to tentacles that fall through time as well as space?
Fizzy Schizoid: All the better to squeeze you with, my dear.
Ulrike: So they're still attached to your nervous system?
Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, this is weird! I just had really strong de ja vu. Have we had this conversation before?
Ulrike: Nope.
Fizzy Schizoid: I knew it! You are an alien doing experiments on me, and you don't want me to realize that you've conducted the same experiment three times already!
Ulrike: I'm not the one with falling tentacles that may alter the entire fabric of the space-time continuum.
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm sorry to hear that, but is it really any of my business?
Ulrike: Depends on what your business IS.
Fizzy Schizoid: oH DEAR. mY CAPS LOCK KEY IS STUCK.
Ulrike: Is it stuck in space or in time or both?
Fizzy Schizoid: This is a pretty old computer. I've got a better one on my spaceship, but it's not compatible with the Earth internet.
Ulrike: But if your tentacles extend through time, surely they extend to a future when your c omputer WILL BE compatible with the earth internet.
Fizzy Schizoid: The best thing about tentacles is that they regrow when I lose them.
Ulrike: You said that even when lost they remained attached to your nervous system, so why bother to regrow them?
Never got a useful response to that one...<0>