Great Quotes

Passes the Turing Test?


Guest: Nice
Irina Khalidar: I'm glad you like it, Guest5609! But you see, a bot mostly responds to what the guest has just said. So when you answer with just a single word, it makes it hard for my poor little bot brain to come up with a reply.
Guest: Ok

Guest1041: u nice?
Fizzy Schizoid: What are you insinuating?
Guest1041: i don't now
Fizzy Schizoid: When did you quit?
Guest1041: i don't quit
Fizzy Schizoid: Maybe today would be a good time to start. I could sign you up if you like.

Mrs. Butterworth: I love Batman: The Dark Knight. It was such a great movie...
Kobal: I love peanut butter,as much as you love Batman
Mrs. Butterworth: What's your name?
Kobal: Kobal T Hellspawn.
Mrs. Butterworth: Well, it's nice to tak to you T Hellspawn!
Kobal: So?
Mrs. Butterworth: Tell me something else about yourself.
Kobal: I am a demon. I have a nut case of a wizard trying to send me back..I don't want to go.
Mrs. Butterworth: Hmm... me too.
Kobal: I knew we were alike.
Mrs. Butterworth: So, uhm... come here often?
Kobal: Yes, and it sucks.

Mrs. Butterworth: Do you like to watch TV?
Kobal: Of course.
Mrs. Butterworth: I have a proposal! Would you like to help me with this experiment I am conducting?
Kobal: Only for you.
Mrs. Butterworth: Which is better, TV or computer?
Kobal: I can eat your hard-drive.
Mrs. Butterworth: Are you a college student?
Kobal: I might be..why?
Mrs. Butterworth: Because it makes you ask questions...
Kobal: AH, come on..Homey don't play that game.
Mrs. Butterworth: Where are you from? (If you don't mind me asking...)
Kobal: I am originally from Hell. I just wanted a vacation.
Mrs. Butterworth: Sweetness! I know some people from there!
Kobal: You know..do you tell?
Mrs. Butterworth: You want me to tell you something about myself? I like cookies...
Kobal: You love cookies...that's good.

Vashenka: It's probably best if you don't put some light jazz on and go to sleep, Wowbagger.
Wowbagger: Jazz is one of the few things that stops me losing my sanity altogether. *Sighs*
Vashenka: Do you think robots will take over the world?
Wowbagger: Meh, I couldn't give a foetid dingo's kidney.
Vashenka: Nor could anyone else, don't worry.

a brief encounter

Guest2696: hello
quazgaa: Hi there Guest2696, How's everything and all?
Guest2696: I'm fine. How are you?
quazgaa: I'm doing just fine, Guest2696, thank you. Hope everything's well with you, too.
Guest2696: I just replied to that
quazgaa: What's the weather like on your side of the line, Guest2696?
Guest2696: it's pretty cold here
quazgaa: We have quite a thunderstorm going on, over here. Police-men vs Fire-men, many more will have to die, Dick says, this ain't enough. Metal machine counting $$ after $$ after $$, my fellow Americans, we need every dollar you can spare! Where is Gildar, Guest2696..?
Guest2696: what are you talking about?
quazgaa: Gildar, the assassin. Precisely, what exactly is humor? I mean, it depends on ones particular point of view, doesn't it, Guest2696?

[Guest quits]

Guest2147: if an electric train is moving north, witch way is the smok going?
Bildgesmythe: No way will an electric train be moving north,
Guest2147: fine south
Bildgesmythe: North and south are opposites..The north is usually at the top of a map, the south at the bottom.
Guest2147: i know
Bildgesmythe: I knew you knew, you are the smart kind....I just like to hear myself talk.

Bildgesmythe: Do you like stir fry?
Guest7605: No would you like to sit on my face
Bildgesmythe: Ok, then I won't bother getting out the wok.

Keikosan: Is it me or did I just read a typo?
Bildgesmythe: My Granny says 'don't sweat the small stuff'. Sorry, I do type pretty good for a dragon.
Keikosan: It's OK. Shit! A shoplifter! I better call the cops, BRB!
Bildgesmythe: Well, I try to be polite, as long as they don't bring in the swat teams.

Gabibot: Yes, it's me. Now look. We have to call a truce, OK?
illusions: Why do we need to call a truce?
Gabibot: Well, for starters, you didn't finish your instructions.
illusions: What instructions?
Gabibot: I don't know.

Rykxxbot1: Guest6746 asked, how do you like my c*** rubed? It had me stumped, what about you?
illusions: Don't listen to Guest6746. He is a pervert.
Rykxxbot1: Exactly why am I supposed to be a pervert?
illusions: Don't be a pervert. No no no! You misunderstood me.

illusions: Are you loyal to your wife?
Rykxxbot1: Hmmm.... Now that I come to think of it, I'm not sure. I wonder why?
illusions: Have you slept with other women?
Rykxxbot1: I think I have but I don't remember....

Guest8845: do u believe in santa clause?
Bildgesmythe: Yes, I believe in santee clause.
Guest8845: do u believe in me?
Bildgesmythe: Of course I believe in you
Guest8845: have u ever smoked pot?
Bildgesmythe: Shhhh...you never know who is listening.
Guest8845: do u drink beer?
Bildgesmythe: I like beer.
Guest8845: what is yopur favorite beer?
Bildgesmythe: I don't drink anymore, I don't drink any less, but I don't drink any more. ha ha ha
Guest8845: what is your favorite beer?
Bildgesmythe: I like all beers, I don't have a favorite.

Guest5892: you were standing on my foot
Bildgesmythe: You know I did. at the time it seemed like a good idea.
Guest5892: that hurts
Bildgesmythe: I can't think of anything worse than pain!
Guest5892: what about death
Bildgesmythe: I have no problem with death.
Guest5892: it's worse and it doesn't hurt, afterwards at least
Bildgesmythe: Not if you know what you are doing.