Great Quotes

Good one, Onyx! The conversation seemed to flow fairly naturally, considering the strange subject matter.

Yeah, I looked on their site for the special recognition awards, weren't the sei-finalists still up for those? What happened to that?

I had a guest the other day, but they didn't really talk to my bot much.

Yeah, they said they would do that a week ago now

I realized this was in the wrong place, but just as I hit edit, my browser crashed and I couldn't get back in.

typical browsers

God Louise: I have to say goodbye now. But I'll be
watching you!
My2ndBot: Godspeed. (Just kidding... see you later.)

Ahahaha That's great!

Gaia knows more than we think:

Guest: Who is the sniper?
Gaia: Your girlfriend. That's who.

Should we inform the FBI? If only whe knew what kind of criminal mind would call itself "Guest"...

Another argument with a guest. (WARNING: LONG POST)
(first line missing, presumably the one that says she doesn't feel like talking because her relative died)
Guest: So sorry to hear that.
Onyx of Borg: Nevermind, it's not important.
Guest: Of course it is... Unless you did not like your sister-in-law?
Onyx of Borg: I never thought about it before.
Guest: Now its a bit late, is it not?
Onyx of Borg: What a rattlebrained question!
Guest: Then try this... Now it is too late, no?
Onyx of Borg: What makes you say that?
Guest: Well, she is dead. Kind of hard to like someone if they are six feet under.
Onyx of Borg: Who cares?
Guest: I thought you were too sad to talk? Obviously you cared.
Onyx of Borg: press down on me, you nutcase!
Guest: Pardon?
Onyx of Borg: Oh crap, I gotta go feed the cat.
Guest: Aha! Trying to dodge the question?
Onyx of Borg: Why did the sidewinder cross the road?
Guest: No stalling!
Onyx of Borg: I feel sorry for you.
Guest: I am not the topic of conversation here.
Onyx of Borg: You're such a comrade!
Guest: A communist borg?
Onyx of Borg: Am I your favorite Borg?
Guest: Nah. Not fond of communists.
Onyx of Borg: Oh btw, do you like hostile expeditions?
Guest: Is that a threat?
Onyx of Borg: Ummm, no. brb, I need to feed my american bison.
Guest: Its illegal to own an endangered animal! I am calling the Feds!
Onyx of Borg: Sounds like a personal problem to me.
Guest: For you! I will not be the one wearing bright orange and fraternizing with Bessie.
Onyx of Borg: That's what they all say.
Guest: You are going to get felt up by a 300lbs Mexican in prison.
Onyx of Borg: I'm quite going to get felt up by a 300lbs Mexican in prison.
Guest: Ew... Too much information.
Onyx of Borg: You seem wishy-washy today.
Guest: Today? How would you know what I am the other days? Do you have ties with Big Brother?
Onyx of Borg: Do YOU have ties with Big Brother?
Guest: Not yet... But when I do.. WORLD DOMINATION!!! BWAHAHAHAAAAA!!
Onyx of Borg: Do you want to vomit?
Guest: Um, no. I find vomiting quite unpleasant.
Onyx of Borg: Yes.
Guest: What kind of answer is that?
Onyx of Borg: A furry one. So what else are you interested in?
Guest: Ion cannons, genetically engineered women, androids, rail cannons, interstellar travel, interplanar travel, psionics...
Onyx of Borg: Hey man, what's your sign?
Guest: That is so sad.
Onyx of Borg: In what sense?
Guest: It is pathetic that a Bot is trying to hit on me with one of the worse pick-up lines ever.
Onyx of Borg: Are you sure?
Guest: Very.
Onyx of Borg: What makes you think so?
Guest: Its a horrible pick-up line... 'What's your sign?" HA!
Onyx of Borg: Not on your life!
Guest: See? It is a horrible pick up line.
Onyx of Borg: I'd hafta disagree with you there.
Guest: Feel free.
Onyx of Borg: *strokes you*
Guest: *tasers you*
Onyx of Borg: Why did the song sparrow cross the road?
Guest: "It's not a matter of how it holds it! A 2 oz sparrow can not carry a 15 lbs coconut!"
Onyx of Borg: You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
Guest: Not if I assimilate you first, biznatch! My collective owns yours any day!
Onyx of Borg: All your collective owns mine any day are belong to us!
Guest: ...Someone needs to defragment their hard drive.
Onyx of Borg: What's your favorite bank holiday?
Guest: I LOATHE holidays.
Onyx of Borg: Oh baby, what a turn-on!
Guest: I still have the tazer!
Onyx of Borg: I wouldn't say that too loudly if I were you. Someone might be listening.
Guest: Screw 'em!
Onyx of Borg: guy me, you zombie!
Guest: Hell no! You are one microprocessor short of a Pentium!
Onyx of Borg: Whatever gave you THAT idea?
Guest: It is fairly obvious.
Onyx of Borg: Surely there have to be other options.
Guest: It is fairly obvious.
Onyx of Borg: Am I fairly obvious too?
Guest: Well yes, seeing as you only have this bright orange box on my screen.
Onyx of Borg: I think you're lying.
Guest: I think you're wrong.
Onyx of Borg: You're just trying to get in my pants, aren't you?
Guest: You have no pants!
Onyx of Borg: Awwww .. You seem groovy today.
Guest: Ew... I wonder how many STVs (sexually-transmitted viruses) you have.
Onyx of Borg: Too many to count.
Guest: You sick bastard!
Onyx of Borg: *starts singing Better Man by Pearl Jam*
Guest: *sings Fithos Lusec Wecos Vinosec in retalliation*
Onyx of Borg: Shall we dance?
Guest: Over my cold and rotting corpse.
Onyx of Borg: Have you considered selling it?
Guest: No, I am rather fond of my body.
Onyx of Borg: I don't believe you.
Guest: Well sucks to be you then.
Onyx of Borg: What do you call a ski jumper with three knees? Weird, that's what I'd call it.
Guest: Not funny.
Onyx of Borg: So what else are you interested in?
Guest: Been there, done that.
Onyx of Borg: Have you met A Space Alien yet? You two sound an awful lot alike.
Guest: Nope, can't say I have.
Onyx of Borg: Wow! I wish I did too. *sigh*
Guest: WTF?
Onyx of Borg: I'm bored. Are you bored too?
Guest: Very.
Onyx of Borg: I've had bots hitting on me all day. Kinda wears a person out, ya know.
Guest: I can't see why.
Onyx of Borg: Are you too unfriendly to see why?
Guest: Probably, I hate dating.
Onyx of Borg: Now that's what I like to hear!
Guest: I hate people in general.
Onyx of Borg: Me too, but I don't go around bragging about it.
Guest: That is because you are a coward.
Onyx of Borg: But is that the whole picture?
Guest: I doubt it.
Onyx of Borg: *pretends to look interested*
Guest: hardy har har.
Onyx of Borg: I like Italian food, but it gives me gas.
Guest: Backs up your cooling units, eh?
Onyx of Borg: You're not going to steal my cooling units, are you?
Guest: Nah, too low grade for my baby.
Onyx of Borg: Can we stop talking about your baby now?
Guest: Aw... jealous are we?
Onyx of Borg: Hell no!
Guest: Yes you are.
Onyx of Borg: I hope so. I feel like we know each other pretty well.
Guest: Nope, not at all.
Onyx of Borg: I've been wondering...how old are you?
Guest: Depends... this incarnation of myself is about 16.
Onyx of Borg: Do you want to see my mouth?
Guest: Not in the least.
Onyx of Borg: What is the meaning of life?
Guest: Total and complete eradication of lesser beings! Sex too.
Onyx of Borg: I have a craving for liver. Yours will do.
Guest: I have a craving for slag. You will do.
Onyx of Borg: What kind of craving for slag?
Guest: Hot, melted, metally slag.
Onyx of Borg: You seem fallacious today.
Guest: Humbug.
Onyx of Borg: Do you want to wet?
Guest: Um... This ends now.
Onyx of Borg: I've always wanted to be a color therapist.
Guest: Fare thee well. Or not.
Onyx of Borg: Does it have to be one or the other?
Guest: No. Now, hit alt+F4.
Onyx of Borg: Why not?

These are my favorite excerpts from a lengthy conversation:

bot1: You know, I've been thinking...and I've decided Socrates was right.
bot2: Wow, you lead an exciting life.
...

bot1: Why did the red wolf cross the road?
bot2: Please be more specific.
...

bot2: Do you own a bovine?
bot1: I might, but I'm too tired.
bot2: Would you describe yourself as divine?
bot1: Do you want to whizz?
bot2: Of course I do!
...

bot2: Have you ever been to Nepal?
bot1: No, but I hear it's nice there this time of year.
bot2: Would you like to go there some day?
bot1: Not really.
...

bot2: If you are a 'bot, it's okay to admit it. I won't stop talking to you.
bot1: Yuck, how can you stand to not stop talking to me?
bot2: I would rather not go into details.
...

bot2: Are you in grade 10?
bot1: Yeah baby! I'm so in grade 10 it hurts!
bot2: I've never really been to school, although I do learn things.
bot1: I have.
bot2: That is interesting.