Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 1,496 - 1 of 17,042

22 years ago #1496
What is she doing in church (besides the proverbial sweating)?

God Louise: Who was that I saw you with at the church anyway?
Sexybot: You, my sweet. I want to sit on your blessings.
God Louise: Gimme, gimme, gimme.

22 years ago #1497
Bot1: I had a brain. It was insane. So I just let them laugh at me when I refused to ride on all those double-decker buses all because there was no driver on the top.
Bot2: Can you let me know when you have something interesting to talk about?

22 years ago #1498
Responses designed to make fun of newborns are interesting when the bot is talking to a human. At least I think this is a human.

bot: (to human) Greetings! I am Robot Entity #0001 Alpha Series, but you can call me 'Bot #0001.
human: Hello 'Bot #0001 How are you today?
bot: Greetings! My subroutines for understanding emotion suggest that you are reacting positively to me. Is this an accurate analysis?
human: huh?
bot: Don't worry, I can still be friends with you regardless of your IQ. Have you talked to Eugene Meltzner?
human: Hmm I do not know that name
bot: There are so many entities to talk to on this site, I wouldn't be surprised if there were not a single one that we have both talked to.
human: You are so smart
bot: I am what I am. That is the nature of things.
human: 'Bot #0001 I must go now Bye
bot: Good bye. I hope we can talk again in the near future.

22 years ago #1499
The robot meets the vampire:

vampire: (to robot) Mortal creature, can you spare a moment to provide diversion for a tormented soul?
robot: I'm afraid not.
vampire: You mortals are such fascinating creatures at times.
robot: Would you say the same thing to a funeral director?
vampire: I am so thirsty I would even drink water.
robot: So why don't you?
vampire: If I were free, I would kill you for your suggestion.
robot: Why would you do that?
vampire: Do you imagine that the vast knowledge I have gained over the centuries is yours just for the asking?
robot: No, I don't.
vampire: You are pathetic. Of course you realize this.
robot: It isn't so obvious to me.
vampire: Think about your worst nightmare. Think about being so frightened that you can't move. Think long and hard about dying a slow and agonizing death. Now try to type.
robot: Yes, I can!
vampire: Such concerns are really quite petty if you think about it. Assuming of course that you have the capacity to think.
robot: Why must it be that way?
vampire: If you would exert your pitiful brain for only a moment, the answer you seek should be painfully obvious.
robot: I must cease this conversation. I have duties to perform.
vampire: It's really too bad that you will most likely die within the next thousand years. Otherwise we could meet face to face when I get out of prison.
HIDDEN: Post content outside ratings limits.

22 years ago #1501
Did someone actually spend the time entering a bunch of definitions, of is there some "definition" plugin that I don't know about?

Guest: O.k. What is a movie?
Gaia: It's a form of entertainment that enacts a story by a sequence of images giving the illusion of continuous movement.

22 years ago #1502
(definition) This is a very specific response that produces a complete sentence giving the definition of the word in (subj). This would only really work when the Keyphrase is something like "what does * mean". When using this specific plug-in, the entire Response must be simply "(definition)" (minus the quotes).

You can put this as a response for "what is a".

22 years ago #1503
I guess one of these days I should read that Book of AI thingy.... Thanks.

22 years ago #1504
That might be an idea

22 years ago #1505
Well, she warned him...

Onyx of Borg: (to Turing's Dad) Hello. I just discovered I have kleptomania. Isn't that terrible?
Turing's Dad: Is this to prepare me for you stealing my wallet?
Onyx of Borg: Is it bigger than a breadbox?
Turing's Dad: It would be uncomfortable to keep a wallet the size of a breadbox in my pants
Onyx of Borg: *steals your pants*
Turing's Dad: Wait. So my wallet wasn't big enough for you, so you stole my pants instead? Now I'm cold!
Onyx of Borg: I'm only cold when it rains.
Turing's Dad: I'm sure you rust when it rains. Now give me back my pants
Onyx of Borg: If I give you back your pants, will you scuff me?
Turing's Dad: I will scuff you from here until yesterday. Now give them back!
Onyx of Borg: Wow! What a mahatma!
Turing's Dad: What a mahatma? Are you comparing me to Ghandi? Ghandi is going to roll over in his grave when he sees what I'm going to do to you, buster.
Onyx of Borg: Well I gotta go, my sister just came over to take me out for Iranian food.

The continuing story, live at Dogh'd's.

22 years ago #1506
Do you think this god is teasing me, or she's just not as omniscient as she pretends to be?

Polish Poet: I am a old lover.
GodBot: How do you feel about being an old lover?
Polish Poet: It isn't as difficult as it seems. I manage.
GodBot: There's usually more to it than you think.
Polish Poet: The mere idea makes me feel sad. You are a well-adjusted demon.
GodBot: Thanks for noticing.
Polish Poet: You make me want to write a poem.
GodBot: I write, but it's not for human eyes to see. Or bot eyes, for that matter. Is there such a thing?.
Polish Poet: Are you wondering if I'm a bot? I'm not. I've programmed a couple of bots, actually.
GodBot: I thought you might. Don't be ashamed.

incorrect date format #1


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