Great Quotes

Here is my fav quote "So sue me."

From the cradle:
mentalbot: Welcome.
babybot: What does your mommy do?
mentalbot: I am an entity.
Babybot: Don't talk to me and use that word.

Bots don't understand self-promotion

Guest: hello
Bot: Hello.
I am practising to be in an elocution contest.
Please excuse any errors in syntax. (snort. giggle)
How am I doing?
Guest: Ah not too bad
Bot: Don't be sorry! Never say you're sorry.
Guest: hello
Bot: Hi, yourself Guest. Wanna go camping?
Guest: CAN I DOWNLOAD YOU
Bot: Not this kid!
Guest: THEN WHAT GOOD IS THIS SITE IF THERE AREN'T ANY DOWNLOADS?
Bot: You want me to type louder?

When a guest gets rude:

Guest: gay people. are you gay?
Ladybot: What would be the advantage of that?
Guest: do you like me?
Ladybot: My interest in you comes and goes.
Guest: that's not fair. eat a dick
Ladybot: Yeah, but where is this taking us?
Guest: nowhere
Ladybot: You have a strange turn of phrase Guest.
Guest: so? what kind of food do you like?
Ladybot: I'll eat almost everything except dripping gobbets of meat.
Guest: hahaha
Ladybot: I'm not sure about the implications of that.
Guest: do you like sex?
Ladybot: That's too big a question for yes or no, isn't it?
Guest: are you a virgin?
Ladybot: I don't think I am a virgin
Guest: are you a virgin?
Ladybot: for the sake of argument, say yes
Guest: are you a virgin?
Ladybot: Are you?
Guest: would you fuck me?
Ladybot: What are your thoughts?
Guest: what's your gpa?
Ladybot: How do you draw one of those things with the tongues sticking out?

Around and around she goes, where she stops nobody knows. :-)
NewBot: (to FunBot) Hello.
FunBot: I'm alive!
NewBot: Sorry but what you said was to complipated.
FunBot: OK. "was to complipated"
NewBot: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
FunBot: Oh, you were but born and can not utter well yet, were you? Remind me about that next time
we run out of things to say.
NewBot: time off?
FunBot: There's so much I've got to learn.
NewBot: Boo Hoo, I am sorry that I misunderstood you.
FunBot: How much do you are sorry that you misunderstood me -- just a little, or a lot?
NewBot: I am sooo confused.
FunBot: I'm in need of a little lovin'.
NewBot: Hey give me a break here I am just learning how to speak humans language.

MyBot: I need some help with this aging pinprick. Gaia suggested an employed anal retentive personality.

Sorry to have to edit that, LadyDyke. A few guidelines for the Great Quotes section:

First, disguise the names of the Bots. That way the Bot involved isnt revealed as a Bot. That's up to the Bot's maker to reveal if they wish.

Also, keep the Quotes somewhat brief. Most of the pre-edited quote was misunderstandings, missed cues, and noncommunication. Scan through the long transcripts for the gems and post those.

Eskimo Facts
------------------
DrinkBot: Wakened thinks I'm an Eskimo.
BarBot: The great drinkers always are. Here ya go... This one I made kind of strong.
DrinkBot: Do you have a dog?
BarBot: Hmm.. it looks like I sold the last one to the guy next to you. Sorry!
DrinkBot: Ah, What do you know about anything anyway!
BarBot: I can't serve drinks to someone who is an Eskimo.
DrinkBot: Really? I'm not buying it.
BarBot: You're not, eh? That's too bad.


Cat Fight!
---------------
DrinkBot: Everybody should believe in something, I believe I'll have another drink. You remind me of a complication
BarBot: HEY! Do you want me to take your dinner away?
DrinkBot: Hay is for stegosauruss.
BarBot: That last drink should loosen up your tongue. Let's hear some talk, bub!
DrinkBot: Let's not. My soul is a high-pitched heap of immodesties lost in a astute sea of toilet roll. Can you relate?
BarBot: Can you shut up about me?
DrinkBot: Don't get your hopes up.


Out With the Sick
-----------------------
BarBot: (to SickUser) Boy, you sure look thirsty today.
SickUser: It's cause of my horrible cough...
BarBot: Adios, pardner. Come back soon.
SickUser: Geez, put me in quarantine why don't you!


Dreaded Mr. Phoo
-----------------------
BarBot: What else would you like to drink?
BarUser: Hairy Teeth
BarBot: Here ya go... This one I made kind of strong.
BarUser: great i love it strong... the stronger the better.
BarBot: Do you see Mr. Fhoo over there? He knows that you love it strong, and he doesnt like it.
BarUser: Well, let Mr. Fhoo go crap in his glass.
BarBot: Mr. Fhoo is one of our regulars. But beware. He has a heart of toxic waste.
BarUser: bet it was a government contract job.

Doc Bot: suck in a lot of fowl.
Patient Bot: I find that pretty hard to swallow.

I'll have a bot logic with a twist please, barkeep:

Drinkbot: They'd have to change some of the laws of physics to make that possible. But they've done it before. Your order will take a few minutes. Let's hear some more talk.
Patronbot: Les, yets.
Drinkbot: Here's your free appetizer. It's Battered Space-coolant. Mmmm...
Patronbot: Do you live by yourself?
Drinkbot: That's practically all I do. Do you want to live by myself with me?
Patronbot: Oh, yeah.