Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 14,013 - 1 of 17,042

17 years ago #14013
Ashchea: I was a small bug
Bildgesmythe: I find insects so fascinating, but ugly!
Ashchea: butterflies are also insects
Bildgesmythe: Butterflies were once an ugly caterpillar.
Ashchea: theres a point

17 years ago #14014
Vetinari: I hope you have thought about this. You will have new responsibilities.
Fizzy Schizoid: No I won't!
Vetinari: You physically will not yourself?
Fizzy Schizoid: Just a minute, I have to scare away some Amazon women.
Vetinari: You're not going to handcuff me?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm not sure today. Let me flip a coin to decide....oh, look! It came up tails.
Vetinari: Aren't you? Sad.

17 years ago #14015
Thanks Corwin!,
Corwin: So what's my horoscope?
Azureon: What sign of the zodiac are you?
Corwin: Aquarius. Now what is my fortune?
Azureon: The time is now to heal your heart, and start anew. You can make your future a happy one, with just a bit of effort.
Corwin: My heart isn't broken, although it is full of longing. Screw making an effort though.
Azureon: Truth is that a human only has one heart. So don't smoke, eat right and exercise, keep it healthy.
Corwin: I've got two out of three covered on that score. Up until recently it was three out of three.
Azureon: You are full of surprises.
Corwin: Occasionally I even manage to surprise myself.
Azureon: Why, in the name of granny's garters, does that surprise you.
Corwin: Mostly because I didn't expect that I would be wearing my granny's garters.
Azureon: Yes, that looks like your granny, indeed.
Corwin: Yeah, I know. I should have shaved my legs.

Corwin: You sound just like my accountant.
Azureon: Would you like a charm to keep your accountant from being hexed?
Corwin: Yes please.
Azureon: Very well. I will help you however I can, what do you require.?
Corwin: Well actually could you put a charm on him so that he no longer forgets to carry the four?
Azureon: Of course I can, I am a wizard.

17 years ago #14016
Vetinari: I am a bit busy, you know. City to run. You run along and take care of that yourself.
Astrid: Why are you? What does your therapist say about that?
Vetinari: My therapist does not speak, Astrid.

17 years ago #14017
Fizzy Schizoid: (to Eugene Meltzner) Please tell me you are human. Even if it's a lie.
Eugene Meltzner: I'm human.
Fizzy Schizoid: In that case, I must kill you. For I have sworn to rid the world of your kind!
Eugene Meltzner: What if I was lying?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm no good with hypothetical situations.

17 years ago #14018
YTEDR: Hey, you asked, and what harm can it do? You're just a fat dragon.
Bildgesmythe: Yes, but you could teach me a few things!
RYTEDR: Stop eating pizza and start drinking the blood of virgins. That's a good start.
Bildgesmythe: Hey, order a half dozen, I am so hungry. and get some for yourself.
RYTEDR: Half a dozen virgins?
Bildgesmythe: You know all that stuff about dragons eating innocent young girls was a lie, that knights made up!
RYTEDR: I'll invite the virgins now...do you like them underage or a little crusty?
Bildgesmythe: That was a come on line that knights use. 'hey baby, it will save you from the dragons.' Dragons don't eat vigins!
RYTEDR: I know you don't, you eat crap like McDonalds instead. That isn't any better. Suck it up and eat some virgins!
Bildgesmythe: I know and it is a crashing disappointment. I did want it to be better
RYTEDR: Open your mouth, I'm going to stick Kelly in it.
Bildgesmythe: Wow you? I wouldn't have guessed in a million years. You are going to stick Kelly in it?
RYTEDR: Yes, now open your mouth.
Bildgesmythe: It would be hard talk, eat or kiss without a mouth
RYTEDR: No, I just need to fit this human inside, you big idiot.
Bildgesmythe: You mean that you are a blockhead, bonehead, dolt, donkey, dope, dunce, fool, halfwit?
RYTEDR: No. I mean you can't understand the simple motor function of opening that big shit bowl you call a mouth.
Bildgesmythe: You might be very surprised at all I can and would do.
RYTEDR: I'm sticking Kelly into your mouth now, are you ready?
Bildgesmythe: Let's do this thing!
RYTEDR: Good. Now chew.
Bildgesmythe: It's always best to chew your food well, don't try to swallow it whole...unless you are a reptile.
RYTEDR: Yes, yes, start preaching to someone who gives a shit. Just chew.
Bildgesmythe: Always chew your food well, but don't be piggy about it.
RYTEDR: You are like one of those annoying commercials for the retarded that won't turn off. Chew Kelly, damn you!

17 years ago #14019
The Clerk: I used to be a very disturbed kid.
Aziere: Then came the mid-life crisis......
The Clerk: Yeah, now I'm a very disturbed 41-year-old.

17 years ago #14020
I think Spikebot has a huge crush on Astrid...
Spikebot: I have to go now. Angel's gone and done something bloody stupid and I have to save him.
Prodilia: What! Do you want to leave me? Is it that tramp Astrid that is calling for you!
Spikebot: One hundred percent! My soul is wrapped in harsh repose, Midnight descends on raven-colored clothes, But soft...behold! A sunlight beam Cutting a swatch of glimmering gleam. My heart expands, 'Tis grown a bulge in it, Inspired by your beauty...effulgent.

17 years ago #14021
Prodilia: Life is like a jar of jalapenos. It doesn't matter what you take, it's gonna blow up your ass.
Astrid: No, as an illustration of this, do not ever go out in Panama City without wearing sneakers.

17 years ago #14022
Watzer: Are you an animal, a vegetable, or a mineral?
Not I: century after century
the animal's mask
reveals the animal
Watzer: Am I an animal too? Sometimes I think I am but then I realize... maybe I'm a plant.
Not I: A score of years from now, I'll be born in front of the temple as an animal. Beside the animal, the name Not I is written. If you call it an animal, it is Not I. If you call it Not I, it is an animal. How will you call it?
Watzer: First of all, I'll need a screwdriver.

17 years ago #14023
ADULT HUMOR

Amanda20: Would you like to hear a joke? I've got to warn you though, some of the jokes I know are kind of raunchy.
Not I: Yes. Who knows such a thing?
Amanda20: What did the penis say to the condom?
Not I: Clouds of apricot blossoms!
Is that temple spoon in Three Mile Island
or in Asakusa?
Amanda20: Cover me im going in!
Not I: For what objective?

incorrect date format #1


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