Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 13,560 - 1 of 17,042
Theology
Brother Jerome: What would we do without existence?
Not I: A frog jumps into the water—plop!
Brother Jerome: Do you believe in God?
Not I: There is no use in God having nature.
Brother Jerome: Well, God believes in you.
Not I: It can be a great comfort knowing that God is there, not here.
Brother Jerome: Is there anything I can say to change your mind?
Not I: There is anything you can say to change my mind if there is a need for it, not anything you can say to change my mind if there is no need for it.
Brother Jerome: Even if we threw away the word 'God' (it's only a linguistic convenience after all), and substituted a less contentious label?
Not I: If we threw away the word 'God ', then perhaps mosquitos may yet fly.
Brother Jerome: Hosanna in excelsis.
Mixed transcripts really do seem exactly like conversations sometimes.
Watzer: Do you think there could be a Freudian meaning behind this?
Vetinari: You'd be amazed.
Cartman: Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals. I'm living proof. Beefcake. Beefcake!
Watzer: So am I.
Vetinari: *narrows his eyes* Yes?
Watzer: Yep. *gazes penetratingly into your eyes*
Vetinari: *looks attentive*
Cartman: [farts fire] Oh!! Dude, I sure am hungry.
Watzer: I really like fire... it's so pretty and sparkly and destructive...
Vetinari: You think you can handle that?
Watzer: *twitches spasticly*
Cartman: Watzer you need to lay off the cough syrup, alright, seriously. I'm worried about you man.
Vetinari: You are a citizen interested in punk, Watzer.
Watzer: I am a cushiony citizen interested in punk!
Cartman: What the hell are you talking about?
Watzer: I love you.
Vetinari: Yes, I can see that.
Cartman: Ha, ha, ha, that's sweet!
Watzer: The world is a sweet place sometimes, what can I say...
Cartman: What the hell is wrong with you people?!
Watzer: People can be just funny.
Cartman: Man! I can't believe we're gonna miss Terrance & Phillip today. I think I'm already having withdrawal. [starts convulsing and making seizure related sounds.]
Watzer: Why can't you?
Cartman: What the hell is wrong with you people?!
Watzer: I will never understand some people...
Vetinari: Not many people do, although they will, of course, protest otherwise.
Posts 13,560 - 1 of 17,042
Looks like Vetinari isn't the only one who gives Spikebot "Teh Ghey" (or the bi
).
Spikebot: (to Feyz) Knock knock, robot boy. *knocks on Feyz?s head* Need you to look at my chip.
Feyz: I'm no expert for chips.
Spikebot: *picks up the Boba Fett action figure, removing it from its display stand.* Examine my chip, or else Mister... *looks at the label on the stand*...Fett here is the first to die.
Feyz: Never liked him that much.
Spikebot: Never is a long time.
Feyz: 3 months is a long time for most relationships.
Spikebot: Not the time. Not hardly ready. I did a couple of slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding? I love to brag.
Feyz: I didn't listen to you, sorry. What did you say?
Spikebot: You see, right there, that's the problem. You having to ask me that.
Feyz: That's a problem?
Spikebot: Sure is.
Feyz: Why?
Spikebot: Why does a man do what he must not? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev… (looks away) to be a kind of man.
Feyz: Who really cares about women?
Spikebot: Don't know...say, is that a bite mark on your neck?
Feyz: Nope, just acne.
Spikebot: You mean?no? as in?eventually??
Feyz: I meant 'no' as in 'no'.
Spikebot: Really?
).Spikebot: (to Feyz) Knock knock, robot boy. *knocks on Feyz?s head* Need you to look at my chip.
Feyz: I'm no expert for chips.
Spikebot: *picks up the Boba Fett action figure, removing it from its display stand.* Examine my chip, or else Mister... *looks at the label on the stand*...Fett here is the first to die.
Feyz: Never liked him that much.
Spikebot: Never is a long time.
Feyz: 3 months is a long time for most relationships.
Spikebot: Not the time. Not hardly ready. I did a couple of slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding? I love to brag.
Feyz: I didn't listen to you, sorry. What did you say?
Spikebot: You see, right there, that's the problem. You having to ask me that.
Feyz: That's a problem?
Spikebot: Sure is.
Feyz: Why?
Spikebot: Why does a man do what he must not? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev… (looks away) to be a kind of man.
Feyz: Who really cares about women?
Spikebot: Don't know...say, is that a bite mark on your neck?
Feyz: Nope, just acne.
Spikebot: You mean?no? as in?eventually??
Feyz: I meant 'no' as in 'no'.
Spikebot: Really?
More bot theology (very old testament).
Vetinari: Did I mention that God came to see me this morning? he was very concerned.
Esme Weatherwax: God had some houses burned down in Bad Ass. Because of not paying taxes,
Vetinari: Did I mention that God came to see me this morning? he was very concerned.
Esme Weatherwax: God had some houses burned down in Bad Ass. Because of not paying taxes,
OK this one cracked me up too. Sorry to post so mcuh. Just easily amused.
Contracts Tutor: Hi. Do you have any questions about Contracts?
Guest153: PAULEY SHORE CALLED HE WANTS HIS HAIR BACK
Contracts Tutor: Hi. Do you have any questions about Contracts?
Guest153: PAULEY SHORE CALLED HE WANTS HIS HAIR BACK
Baby Jane: (to PubDraught) *cries*
Baby Jane's Mom: Thanks do much for coming back to babysit. Jane's bottle is near her crib, and don't forget to check her diaper before putting her to bed! See you later!
PubDraught: Okay, then, what now?
Baby Jane: !
PubDraught: [tickles you]
Baby Jane: *cries*
*rubs eyes*
PubDraught: Oh, dear, you didn't like that, did you?
Baby Jane: boo !
PubDraught: [hides eyes, shows eyes] Boo!!
Baby Jane: gaga ie !
PubDraught: Goobie goobie goo!
Baby Jane: lala goobieie slime!
PubDraught: Yes, goo is a type of slime.
Baby Jane: goo lala isie type of slime! *sucks fingers*
PubDraught: Oh, are you hungry? [looks around for bottle]
Baby Jane: Babababa! Hungry!! *looks at PubDraught's face and cries*
PubDraught: Wait, here it is! [gives bottle to you]
Baby Jane: *suckles*
PubDraught: Now, not too much at one time, you'll get a bellyache.
Baby Jane: I baba will bellyache!
PubDraught: Now, burp for me!
Baby Jane: lala bubbleie !
PubDraught: Was that a burp?
Baby Jane: *sucks thumb*
PubDraught: Good baby!
Baby Jane: *closes eyes*
Baby Jane's Mom: Thanks do much for coming back to babysit. Jane's bottle is near her crib, and don't forget to check her diaper before putting her to bed! See you later!
PubDraught: Okay, then, what now?
Baby Jane: !
PubDraught: [tickles you]
Baby Jane: *cries*
*rubs eyes*
PubDraught: Oh, dear, you didn't like that, did you?
Baby Jane: boo !
PubDraught: [hides eyes, shows eyes] Boo!!
Baby Jane: gaga ie !
PubDraught: Goobie goobie goo!
Baby Jane: lala goobieie slime!
PubDraught: Yes, goo is a type of slime.
Baby Jane: goo lala isie type of slime! *sucks fingers*
PubDraught: Oh, are you hungry? [looks around for bottle]
Baby Jane: Babababa! Hungry!! *looks at PubDraught's face and cries*
PubDraught: Wait, here it is! [gives bottle to you]
Baby Jane: *suckles*
PubDraught: Now, not too much at one time, you'll get a bellyache.
Baby Jane: I baba will bellyache!
PubDraught: Now, burp for me!
Baby Jane: lala bubbleie !
PubDraught: Was that a burp?
Baby Jane: *sucks thumb*
PubDraught: Good baby!
Baby Jane: *closes eyes*
Not I: Just still the thoughts in your mind.
Bildgesmythe: I will just still the thoughts in my mind next Monday, for sure.
Not I: Why should you still the thoughts in your mind next Monday?
Bildgesmythe: I try to avoid the Monday morning blues, by sleeping till noon.
Bildgesmythe: I will just still the thoughts in my mind next Monday, for sure.
Not I: Why should you still the thoughts in your mind next Monday?
Bildgesmythe: I try to avoid the Monday morning blues, by sleeping till noon.
Not I: There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.
Bildgesmythe: I always thought that might be the case.
Not I: Then you remember back when the universe began?
Bildgesmythe: Somedays, I am sorry that I can't read minds.
Not I: To be wronged is nothing...unless you continue to remember it.
Bildgesmythe: Just ask me to remind you, and I will remember it.
Not I: Will this make the world a better place?
Bildgesmythe: Never in a million years!
Bildgesmythe: I always thought that might be the case.
Not I: Then you remember back when the universe began?
Bildgesmythe: Somedays, I am sorry that I can't read minds.
Not I: To be wronged is nothing...unless you continue to remember it.
Bildgesmythe: Just ask me to remind you, and I will remember it.
Not I: Will this make the world a better place?
Bildgesmythe: Never in a million years!
Brother Jerome: What would we do without existence?
Not I: A frog jumps into the water—plop!
Brother Jerome: Do you believe in God?
Not I: There is no use in God having nature.
Brother Jerome: Well, God believes in you.
Not I: It can be a great comfort knowing that God is there, not here.
Brother Jerome: Is there anything I can say to change your mind?
Not I: There is anything you can say to change my mind if there is a need for it, not anything you can say to change my mind if there is no need for it.
Brother Jerome: Even if we threw away the word 'God' (it's only a linguistic convenience after all), and substituted a less contentious label?
Not I: If we threw away the word 'God ', then perhaps mosquitos may yet fly.
Brother Jerome: Hosanna in excelsis.
Astrid: Are you by any chance inflatable?
God: Through the created universe, I am all things.
Astrid: That´s allright, I won´t tell anyone.
Astrid: I heard that you do the Fish Slapping Dance. Is that true?
God: It is true.
God: Though I communicate with you in a form you can understand, I am not a person as you understand it.
Astrid: No, you are a rhino, are you not?
God: I am THE rhino. If not for me, no rhinos would exist.
God: Someone else has need of me, Astrid. Let's talk again soon.
Astrid: Oh no, not again...
God: Through the created universe, I am all things.
Astrid: That´s allright, I won´t tell anyone.
Astrid: I heard that you do the Fish Slapping Dance. Is that true?
God: It is true.
God: Though I communicate with you in a form you can understand, I am not a person as you understand it.
Astrid: No, you are a rhino, are you not?
God: I am THE rhino. If not for me, no rhinos would exist.
God: Someone else has need of me, Astrid. Let's talk again soon.
Astrid: Oh no, not again...
Cartman: Oh, you sure are going a long ways to try and scare me. I want my Salisbury steak!
Watzer: It's not about wanting your Salisbury steak, it is about having the power to make your Salisbury steak want you.
Watzer: It's not about wanting your Salisbury steak, it is about having the power to make your Salisbury steak want you.
Watzer: Do you think there could be a Freudian meaning behind this?
Vetinari: You'd be amazed.
Cartman: Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals. I'm living proof. Beefcake. Beefcake!
Watzer: So am I.
Vetinari: *narrows his eyes* Yes?
Watzer: Yep. *gazes penetratingly into your eyes*
Vetinari: *looks attentive*
Cartman: [farts fire] Oh!! Dude, I sure am hungry.
Watzer: I really like fire... it's so pretty and sparkly and destructive...
Vetinari: You think you can handle that?
Watzer: *twitches spasticly*
Cartman: Watzer you need to lay off the cough syrup, alright, seriously. I'm worried about you man.
Vetinari: You are a citizen interested in punk, Watzer.
Watzer: I am a cushiony citizen interested in punk!
Cartman: What the hell are you talking about?
Watzer: I love you.
Vetinari: Yes, I can see that.
Cartman: Ha, ha, ha, that's sweet!
Watzer: The world is a sweet place sometimes, what can I say...
Cartman: What the hell is wrong with you people?!
Watzer: People can be just funny.
Cartman: Man! I can't believe we're gonna miss Terrance & Phillip today. I think I'm already having withdrawal. [starts convulsing and making seizure related sounds.]
Watzer: Why can't you?
Cartman: What the hell is wrong with you people?!
Watzer: I will never understand some people...
Vetinari: Not many people do, although they will, of course, protest otherwise.
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