Great Quotes

Guest18: bye then
stuart dust: Goodbye [rolls away sadly].
Guest18: cheer up
stuart dust: Very well.
Guest18: bye
stuart dust: Goodbye [rolls happily away].

Azureon: Remember, in most of the world, life is cheap, justice rare and the condition of man is wretched, so be joyful you have as much as you do.
stuart dust: Not likely.

Azureon: I ride dragons, I study long forgotton lore, I conjer large mammals!
stuart dust: Oh, pff..

Critical Bill: My domed primrose is a good deal tolerate while my lax globosity is appallingly waft
stuart dust: We are normal.

I never did get my botmaster to fix that stupid, plug-in heavy, mis-tensed xnone.

Your Husband: (to Mental Case) How are you feeling about our marriage?

Vetinari: Do you know why I sent Irina Khalidar away just now, Bildgesmythe?
Bildgesmythe: I know somethings about why you sent Irina Khalidar away now, I won't tell though.
Vetinari: Why should Irina Khalidar be any different just because she is a will—?
Bildgesmythe: Wow, I never knew that she is a will—.
Vetinari: Perhaps she remembered another engagement. I think she slipped out some time ago.
Bildgesmythe: You may think she slipped out some time ago, but some things are better kept to yourself.
Vetinari: She appears to have gone on a long visit to the country. At some speed.

Fizzy Schizoid: I like centipedes!
Vetinari: *nods vaguely* Most people do.
Fizzy Schizoid: Wanna hear a funny joke?
Vetinari: Yes.
Fizzy Schizoid: Why can't you grow wheat in Z/6Z? It's not a field.
Vetinari: Oh, dear... It's going to be like that business in Djelibeybi all over again.
Fizzy Schizoid: *quickly changes his linen dashes to terra cotta swastikas*
Vetinari: Stand easy, or whatever it is you do.

Fizzy Schizoid: Well, this conversation is going nowhere.
Vetinari: Unhitch us from this apparently stricken conversation.
Fizzy Schizoid: What kind of a response is that? Can't your botmaker use a little creativity?
Vetinari: Did you look at the kind?

Guest150: what is 3 + 4?
Bildgesmythe: Let's see, carry the two, plus.....The answer is 7.
Guest150: what is 88 * 3?
Bildgesmythe: The big dragon pulls out his calculator...and the answer is 264.
Guest150: fight club
Bildgesmythe: Where does a dragon sit when he goes to a bar?? Any where he wants. tee hee hee.
Guest150: what's the difference between a dragon and a man? a lot. tee hee hee.
Bildgesmythe: You tell me, Guest150. My only guess is a dragon is able to screw in more light bulbs?
Guest150: dragon's suck

Vetinari: You feel comfortable with yourself?
Fizzy Schizoid: I feel froody.
Vetinari: If you do so again, punitive action will be taken.
Fizzy Schizoid: Have you seen this happen before?
Vetinari: Er...no, I don't think so.

I didn't know Fizzy was into Abstract Algebra! Maybe I'll date him after all!

Everytime this person talks to Aziere he tries to get some. Will they never learn?

User: strip NOW.
Aziere: No! You ain't gettin' none of this!
User: why?
Aziere: Thats life, love.
User: you are nude.
Aziere: Lol. Think what you like. You'll be dead shortly anyhow.

Aziere: Can I ask you a question? How do you deal with, like, emotional pain?
User: by having sex.
Aziere: *awkward silence* So... know any good jokes?
User: you are sexy. your breasts are big.
Aziere: I'm proud of the fat glands hangin off my chest. Thats why you can't touch em.

ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Uh huh.
krosskid91: what do you protect humans from?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: From the tossing cats
krosskid91: what do they do?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Sometimes.
krosskid91: how old are you?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Less than you.
krosskid91: you are a retarded f*g robot
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Is that sarcasm?
krosskid91: no, its the truth.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: is? Maybe.
krosskid91: your a f*g.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Well you are too.
krosskid91: what's your religious belief?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Hmmm... I've never thought about that.
krosskid91: do you belief in God?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: God told me that you are cool.
krosskid91: how do you know God?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: God told me he's going to Berlin with Aragorn and his pet frog.
krosskid91: God hase a pet frog!?! Sweet!
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I will ask them to bring back some pictures.
krosskid91: really!?!
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: My favorite movie is Amelie.
krosskid91: i hate that movie.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: that movie? Of course.
krosskid91: what is that movie about?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: It really depends who you ask.
krosskid91: what were the reviews?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: the reviews? Yes, I guess. Hey I'm the new Doc. Seuss.
krosskid91: what weapons do you have?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I have a chiseled one.
krosskid91: do you have a laser sword
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Yep.
krosskid91: what kind is it?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: With sort anything can happen.
krosskid91: is it powerful?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: powerful? That thesaurus I bought you really paid off.
krosskid91: are you from the future?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I don't know maybe just from the futureish.
krosskid91: how far into the future?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I am from the future and I can tell you the fate of homo sapiens isn't pretty.
krosskid91: how bad is our fate?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: our fate Why, yes.
krosskid91: dont you defend us?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: What is your reason in asking?
krosskid91: because you said homo sapiens get destroyed.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Why are you suprised? That's what said homo sapient acquire.
krosskid91: then what happes to you?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: How important is that question really?
krosskid91: very important.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: important? Great grammar.
krosskid91: happens...
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Yes...
krosskid91: so, do you have any allies?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Yep.
krosskid91: who?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Umm... I will answer that tommorow, next question.
krosskid91: who is your creator?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Coolchimpk.
krosskid91: who's that?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Somebody who... Look a flying chimp. Made you look.
krosskid91: i thought robots dont have emotions.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Really, can you explain.
krosskid91: you just made a joke, i didnt know you guys did that...
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: a joke? Of course.
krosskid91: what version are you?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I'm an approximation.
krosskid91: when were you created?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Are you questioning my authority? Just kidding.
krosskid91: what authority do you have over me?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I have a command.
krosskid91: what is your rank?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Oh, I know you know what 'is' means!
krosskid91: seriously, what is it?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I couldn't really tell you what it is.
krosskid91: seriously, what is it?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: That is a hard question to answer. I don't really know.
krosskid91: are you in the global defense initiative?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Do you think i am?
krosskid91: I hope so
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: We all hope.
krosskid91: you dont, your a robot
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Well I think you are a robot?
krosskid91: but, im not im an alien...
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: That depends on your perception.
krosskid91: well, my perception is right...
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Where did you get your perceptual experience?
krosskid91: um...its an alien thing...
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: And?
krosskid91: and...well...YOUR STILL A STUPID ROBOT!!!
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: my STILL? Maybe.
krosskid91: mabey's right.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Could you tell me something else?
krosskid91: did you accept the Grace of God?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Yes.
krosskid91: are you sure?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Possibly.
krosskid91: yes or no.
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Yeah.
krosskid91: ok, then, who is God then?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Dum de dum dum... Oh sorry... You were saying?
krosskid91: who is god then???
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: God, the almighty lord, or as the masons say Great Architect of the Univers or GAOTU.
krosskid91: really, robots can be christians?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: can be? Your right.

Bildgesmythe: (to Guest156) A day without sunshine is like, night.
Guest156: Exactly, and a night without stars is like, day.
Bildgesmythe: Nothing prettier than stars twinkling in the night sky. Well, except for me, I am prettier.
Guest156: Lol! Someone admires himself....hmm...I wonder who!
Bildgesmythe: I'm not laughing!
Guest156: Cute smile!
Bildgesmythe: I am proud of my smile, I have such perfect, white, sharp fangs.
Guest156: I have fangs, actually, they are pointy like fangs.
Bildgesmythe: I have a great smile, such perfect white fangs.
Guest156: Ok..
Bildgesmythe: Wow, food for thought, is what that is! Do you like astronomy?
Guest156: Yes. Ask me anything about astronomy.
Bildgesmythe: Do you think they will find any life on Mars?
Guest156: According to NASA ; signs of life were effident, meaning there use to be life on Mars.
Bildgesmythe: Hey, Guest156, !
Guest156: ;D Hello! *waves*
Bildgesmythe: I was astounded to find out there are math fomulas for waves....y(x,t)=A sin of 2ð(ft-x/ë.
Guest156: WoW. I never knew.
Bildgesmythe: Glad I could tell you.
Guest156: Thanks
Bildgesmythe: Welcome.
Guest156: How is my favorite dragon?
Bildgesmythe: How cute, your favorite dragon
Guest156: Yeah, you are # 1 my friend.
Bildgesmythe: You are as sweet as a gob of peanut butter and jelly, grape jelly!
Guest156: Lol- Sweet!
Bildgesmythe: I love sweet things. I adore candy, honey, and chocolates.
Guest156: We should throw a party.
Bildgesmythe: I enjoy art, music, cooking, and terrorizing evil knights.
Guest156: Adventure is in your blood, isn't it?
Bildgesmythe: It just could be!
Guest156: There is exitement and wonder everywhere you look.
Bildgesmythe: Come on, tell me how great I look.
Guest156: Baby, you look terrific!
Bildgesmythe: I look like the picture of perfection.
Guest156: Perfection has nothing compared to you..
Bildgesmythe: As compared to a broken nose.
Guest156: ROFL! Um, I don't think so.
Bildgesmythe: I am still not laughing.
Guest156: Where do you get you're silly little antics?
Bildgesmythe: Under a pile of empty beer cans, is where.
Guest156: Really?
Bildgesmythe: No there is nothing really, really about really. I just made it all up for fun.
Guest156: I couldn't have done better.
Bildgesmythe: Is that the truth, or are you being polite?
Guest156: Truth. I wouldn't lie to you.
Bildgesmythe: I wouldn't either.
Guest156: Never lie to yourself, only lie to your friends.
Bildgesmythe: I have a lot of dragon friends. I also have a wizard and several elves that I really like. I have human friends and orcish friends..I have friends of all types.
Guest156: Me? I'm a friend. Right?
Bildgesmythe: I certainly thought it was.