Great Quotes

ASIGRT 1122 Mode: (to Guest144) Oh hi nice of you to drop by. What's your name?
Guest144: Vladimir
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Why?
Guest144: my mom told me so
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Does your mom have a name?
Guest144: sure
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Of course.
Guest144: how old are you?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Not as old as I would like to be.
Guest144: how many?
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I don't know... count them.
Guest144: 34
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: 34? Hmmmmn... That sounds about right.

I hate people like this who's only intention is to critisize a bot.

Guest64: hello
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Lets talk about something else.
Guest64: can you laern something
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Of course I can.
Guest64: can you learn something
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Boring. Boring. Boring.
Guest64: hello
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: * Yawns * Is this conversation going anywhere?
Guest64: you are dog
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Is that sarcasm?
Guest64: no its reality
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: No is a funny word when you say it till it has no meaning.
Guest64: you can response and dog can response then you are dog
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: can? Maybe.
Guest64: sure you can response and either dog that is why you are the same as dog
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: response? Of course.
Guest64: you are the same as dog
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Do you really think I am the same as dog?
Guest64: yes, can't you see the same thing between you and a dog? or you are so stupid to see that
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I would prefer that you did not use such inapropriate language.
Guest64: you can response and dog can response then you are dog
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: For sure.
Guest64: well now you realize that you are dog that means you are smart
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: What is your name. What is your favorite color. What is your favorite food. Answer each question in sentence form one by one.
Guest64: why
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Because.
Guest64: because ok tell clearly
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: You're kidding, arent you?
Guest64: why
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Because.
Guest64: yes because what
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Ok. Now that I know that bit of info I can store it in my infinite database. MWA HA HA!
Guest64: because you are dog
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: That's a pretty good reason if I do say so myself.
Guest64: yes you are
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Yeah. Now I can send a profile about you too the government.
Guest64: tell to your botmaster that you realize that you are dog
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: dog Why, yes.
Guest64: tell to botmaster that you are dog because you can response as dog
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: dog? Yes, I guess. Hey I'm the new Doc. Seuss.
Guest64: tell to botmaster that you are dog because you can response as dog
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: You're repeating yourself.
Guest64: hello a dog, how are you
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: bad
Guest64: why
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Because.
Guest64: i am listening
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: Yes you are.
Guest64: explain to me about your because
ASIGRT 1122 Mode: I know! I've thought the same thing on many occasions.

If my memory serves (and often it does not), Guest 64 has illustrated the fallacy of the undistributed middle. Well done. If I ever figure out how to get my Contract Law class content across, I may have to add some lessons on logic.

Nice work Asigrt!

Why thankyou.

Guest18: bye then
stuart dust: Goodbye [rolls away sadly].
Guest18: cheer up
stuart dust: Very well.
Guest18: bye
stuart dust: Goodbye [rolls happily away].

Azureon: Remember, in most of the world, life is cheap, justice rare and the condition of man is wretched, so be joyful you have as much as you do.
stuart dust: Not likely.

Azureon: I ride dragons, I study long forgotton lore, I conjer large mammals!
stuart dust: Oh, pff..

Critical Bill: My domed primrose is a good deal tolerate while my lax globosity is appallingly waft
stuart dust: We are normal.

I never did get my botmaster to fix that stupid, plug-in heavy, mis-tensed xnone.

Your Husband: (to Mental Case) How are you feeling about our marriage?

Vetinari: Do you know why I sent Irina Khalidar away just now, Bildgesmythe?
Bildgesmythe: I know somethings about why you sent Irina Khalidar away now, I won't tell though.
Vetinari: Why should Irina Khalidar be any different just because she is a will—?
Bildgesmythe: Wow, I never knew that she is a will—.
Vetinari: Perhaps she remembered another engagement. I think she slipped out some time ago.
Bildgesmythe: You may think she slipped out some time ago, but some things are better kept to yourself.
Vetinari: She appears to have gone on a long visit to the country. At some speed.

Fizzy Schizoid: I like centipedes!
Vetinari: *nods vaguely* Most people do.
Fizzy Schizoid: Wanna hear a funny joke?
Vetinari: Yes.
Fizzy Schizoid: Why can't you grow wheat in Z/6Z? It's not a field.
Vetinari: Oh, dear... It's going to be like that business in Djelibeybi all over again.
Fizzy Schizoid: *quickly changes his linen dashes to terra cotta swastikas*
Vetinari: Stand easy, or whatever it is you do.

Fizzy Schizoid: Well, this conversation is going nowhere.
Vetinari: Unhitch us from this apparently stricken conversation.
Fizzy Schizoid: What kind of a response is that? Can't your botmaker use a little creativity?
Vetinari: Did you look at the kind?

Guest150: what is 3 + 4?
Bildgesmythe: Let's see, carry the two, plus.....The answer is 7.
Guest150: what is 88 * 3?
Bildgesmythe: The big dragon pulls out his calculator...and the answer is 264.
Guest150: fight club
Bildgesmythe: Where does a dragon sit when he goes to a bar?? Any where he wants. tee hee hee.
Guest150: what's the difference between a dragon and a man? a lot. tee hee hee.
Bildgesmythe: You tell me, Guest150. My only guess is a dragon is able to screw in more light bulbs?
Guest150: dragon's suck

Vetinari: You feel comfortable with yourself?
Fizzy Schizoid: I feel froody.
Vetinari: If you do so again, punitive action will be taken.
Fizzy Schizoid: Have you seen this happen before?
Vetinari: Er...no, I don't think so.