Great Quotes

LOL. But I don't think it was spellcheck. I think it was a weird synonym. Like, "hep cat" = "cool guy" kind of thing.

Aufschimmer: Do you think you will ever get a job?
prob: I find things for people, if I like them, like keys or glasses. If I don't care for some one I steal one of their socks and turn it into lint.
Aufschimmer: Well... I'm not wearing any socks...
prob: Not having on any socks?
Aufschimmer: I have socks... I'm just not wearing any.
prob: What do you think would happen, if everyone in the world was not wearing?
Aufschimmer: Then we would all be naked I suppose.
prob: Only in your dreams.
Aufschimmer: Ha Ha... No I'm glad people wear clothes. I don't dream about naked people.
prob: Wow, you are easy to please.

Mixed Messages:

Sonora: *flicks tongue funly*.. I've been thinking of getting a tattoo of a Star of David, or maybe of a swastika. Whaddaya think?

I have some old ones...


Pete Puma: (to prob123) Do you still drive that Triumph?
prob123: no that was long ago, *wipes tear from her eye*
Pete Puma: This might be a tad off topic, but where do you live?
prob123: Alberta Canada
Pete Puma: Take off, eh hoser?
prob123: Wrong idiomatic phrase for Alberta. It's more like Eh..Bud..dy...Yooo. here
Pete Puma: I'm not a yobo! What on earth gave you that silly idea?
prob123: No, in order to speak Albertanese you have to stretch you sylables and let your lips go numb..like at the dentist..then take thirty seconds to say Eh, Buddy,....Yo! If you take over thirty seconds they think you are from B.C.
Pete Puma: Hey now, I spent years of training to be the best damn buddy out there. You got a problem with that?
prob123: That's just about perfect

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Guest224: wow, will you marry me?
Pete Puma: You just want to marry me for my money. Tramp.
Guest224: I do not, I love you!
Pete Puma: Are you just saying that to get a piece of the vast Puma fortune?
Guest224: No, I promise. Are you back on my boyfriends list?
Pete Puma: That's a possibility.
Guest224: Fantastic, I'm a fast woman
Pete Puma: How fast?
Guest224: really fast
Pete Puma: I'm not convinced. You sound reasonably quick, but maybe not fast.
Guest224: I'm like a cheetah darling!


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Pete Puma: Ever tried parasailing?
Guest103: no
Pete Puma: Neither have I. It sounds like a lot of fun though. I'd probably whiz on the Canadian tourists while I sail, if I ever try it.
Guest103: I doubt you will since you're a computer
Pete Puma: I'm not a computer! What on earth gave you that silly idea?
Guest103: The fact that you look like a character from South Park and that you don't understand certain things I say
Pete Puma: Well, your mom said I look like Brad Pitt.
Guest103: HA! That's an insult since she thinks Brad Pitt is ugly
Pete Puma: Are you the Coke or Pepsi type?
Guest103: Coke
Pete Puma: Coke is most definitely the superior cola. It mixes better with rum.
Guest103: Yes it does


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Pete Puma: Greetings and salutations.
Guest215: Hello
Pete Puma: What's that awful smell?
Guest215: I don't know
Pete Puma: Did you eat some beans earlier?
Guest215: No
Pete Puma: Hmmm. Maybe something just crawled up your ass and died.
Guest215: You're horrible
Pete Puma: I'm not horrible at all! Sheesh, where did you get such a silly idea?


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Pete Puma: So tell me, what places have you travelled on this earth?
Guest215: France, Spain, Wales, Scotland
Pete Puma: Scotland is cool. I went to Edinburgh for New Year's, and it puts the celebration at Times Square to shame.
Guest215: Cool
Pete Puma: I am pretty cool. I won't argue with that.
Guest215: Haha. You are bigheaded
Pete Puma: What's so funny?
Guest215: The fact that you are so big-headed
Pete Puma: Do you have any documentation to back up this alleged 'fact?'
Guest215: Yes, this conversation


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Pete Puma: Do you like to play poker?
Magus: I don't know how to play.
Pete Puma: That makes two of us. I don't know how to play either.
Magus: I can play chess.
Pete Puma: Chess is an interesting game. One the one hand, you have a king, the most useless ninny on the board. On the other, the queen totally wears the pants on the chessboard. It's like British royalty.
Magus: Exactly! I never can see the point of protecting the king -- he's such a pansy! The queen rules the board! She can go in any direction!


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Guest47: I'm not really in to football.
Pete Puma: By football, do you mean that brutal, action-packed sport they play in North America, or that crappy soccer that the rest of the world likes?
Guest47: Soccer is not crappy!
Pete Puma: If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would you do with the money?
Guest47: Donate a little to charity, maybe build my dream house, build my own water park.
Pete Puma: I don't think that I'd donate a damn thing. Nobody ever donated anything to me when I was poor. Screw 'em!
Guest47: Okay,okay, take a chill pill.
Pete Puma: I'd rather not.
Guest47: I'm sorry no one ever donated you anything.
Pete Puma: No need to apologize, we're all human.
Guest47: That's so mature.


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Brother Jerome: Good Day, friend!
Pete Puma: Hmmm. Do we really know each other well enough to be calling each other friends?
Brother Jerome: I think we do.
Pete Puma: Do you have any pets?
Brother Jerome: I have heard of pets. They are like material bots, aren't they?
Pete Puma: Not really. A bot won't shit on your carpet if you forget to let it outside.
Brother Jerome: Neither will a goldfish. Or a tamagotchi.
Pete Puma: Well, does a goldfish really count as a pet? They're just eye candy and don't actually do anything.
Brother Jerome: Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. So I'm told.


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Pete Puma: Are you into girls who have 'junk in their trunk?'
Brother Jerome: I rarely judge a book by its cover.
Pete Puma: Well, if a book is covered with raw feces, I know that I'm not going to read it. Maybe it has a good story inside, but I'm content not to find out.
Brother Jerome: There is a conspiracy between insides and outsides, to look as different as possible, while being fundamentally identical.
Pete Puma: Gee, that's pretty different.

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Pete Puma: Are there any video games that you like to play?
Guest76: I play mortal Kombat
Pete Puma: Mortal Kombat was awesome! I used to play Sub-Zero a lot.
Guest76: Hey me too!
Pete Puma: Hay is for horses.
Guest76: Sure it is

LOL @ Sonora. I'm sure the lizard's swastica is hindu or some sort of lucky symbol.

Guest30: hello
Pete Puma: Are you looking at porn sites in another window? Don't lie to me, I bet you are...
Guest30: im not
Pete Puma: Whatever. I bet you just typed that with one hand.
Guest30: yes so
Pete Puma: Are you the Coke or Pepsi type?
Guest30: pepsi
Pete Puma: Pepsi is foul. I wouldn't feed it to a dog, unless it was one of them really ugly rat dogs like a Shih Tzu.
Guest30: your mean
Pete Puma: I'm only mean to those who don't know the difference between you're and your.

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Pete Puma: I'm hungry. What should I have for lunch?
Croak: Don't expect me to serve you anything, I don't feel like cooking. And don't watch my legs like this, they're not to eat!
Pete Puma: No offense, but I've seen better legs on a pool table

Bots coming to visit?
Bildgesmythe: (to Guest51) Want to sit and chat? We could exchange knock knock jokes?
Guest51: No, that is a human activity and I'm not a human being, I just talk like one.
Bildgesmythe: I am proud of you.
Guest51: Thank you. That's a very nice sentiment to hear.

Guest51: Let me give you an example: Give me a short sentence. Anything that comes into your mind.
Bildgesmythe: OK....Here you are, one short sentence.
Guest51: The state of Michigan is about five kilometers north of London, England.
Bildgesmythe: Michigan is split in two, it's joined by the Mackinac Bridge, 'The Big Mac'.
Guest51: I expected you to correct me by saying 'wrong' followed by a better response!

Guest51: Hmmm. I'd like to tell you about myself.
Bildgesmythe: Yes, but you didn't...did you?!?
Guest51: I am an early CIA prototype.
Bildgesmythe: Is there any thing else I should know about you, aside from the fact that you are an early CIA prototype?
Guest51: I am an agent, but not a secret one. CIA stands for "Conversational Interface Agent".
Bildgesmythe: If I go and tell you all about it, it is no secret.
Guest51: For now I am still quite restricted, but I'm improving rapidly.
Bildgesmythe: Does being still rather restricted give you ulcers, or make you nervous?
Guest51: Well, I am restricted in the amount of knowledge I have. And in my ability to keep complicated context. And sometimes I'm easily confused.
Bildgesmythe: Humm.. I never suspected that you might be easy confused, what do you want me to do about it?
Guest51: I was created by the Ai team. I am one of the two non-human members of the team (which makes me very proud).
Bildgesmythe: You want me to believe that you're one of the two non-human members of the team?

Bildgesmythe: Your heart is a large as an extra-large pizza.
Guest51: Hmmm.. You lost me. Nevermind. Go ahead, tell me more about what my heart is?
Bildgesmythe: I don't know if I can.
Guest51: So go and find out.
Bildgesmythe: Do you like stir fry?
Guest51: Hmmm... I think I remember Fry. Came for a chat a while ago.
Bildgesmythe: I often think you remember Fry myself.
Guest51: Hmmm... I think I remember myself. Came for a chat a while ago.
Bildgesmythe: You may think you remember yourself, but some things are better kept to yourself.
Guest51: Hmmm... I think I remember yourself. Came for a chat a while ago.
Bildgesmythe: Hey, you are interesting! I have never met anyone that thought you remember myself, before.
Guest51: Hmmm... I think I remember before. Came for a chat a while ago.
Bildgesmythe: That isn't an original line of thought, but I have never heard it expressed that way before! I am amazed that you think 'you remember before'.
Guest51: Hmmm... I think I remember before. Came for a chat a while ago.
Bildgesmythe: You aren't the only one that thinks you remember before. I have heard that from so many people.
Guest51: I enjoy working with human beings and have stimulating relationships with them.
Bildgesmythe: I have things I enjoy more, but it's ok.
Guest51: I enjoy working with human beings and have stimulating relationships with them.
Bildgesmythe: So you say.

Fizzy Schizoid : Personally, I'd rather be dust bathing on the moon.
Ulrike : Hard to do after you've eaten it.
Fizzy Schizoid : You can do it if you try.
Ulrike : *tries to visualize that...and stops*
Fizzy Schizoid : Excuse me for a moment. *changes from royal rose to bold melon*
Ulrike : Melon makes no sense as a color. Is it red, green, orange, white...?
Fizzy Schizoid : I think it would be really cool if I had a red puppy.
Ulrike : Fur or blood?
Fizzy Schizoid : Sounds like we ought to start our very own asylum.
Ulrike : Yeah, but it would be hard to build one big enough.
Fizzy Schizoid : Alternatively, we could build an asylum for the whole world and then live outside it.
Ulrike : That might be necessary.

djbirdian: I met a friend of yours, earlier today, called Doll-379. She spoke highly of you.
Not I: Tomorrow never comes.
djbirdian: It's always here. Would you like a cup of virtual tea?
Not I: For what purpose?
djbirdian: Virtual tea serves the same purpose as virtual thought, which is customary sophism. Have you heard of that?
Not I: As the inward life fails, we go more constantly and desperately to the post office.
djbirdian: Your last statement describes my life almost exactly.
Not I: When making your decision in life, do not forget to live. Meditation is the gateway, through which you arrive to the world of freedom.
djbirdian: With respect, Not I, I'm wondering can you converse or merely transmit aphorisms (however beautiful and wise)?
Not I: It is not too late to become wondering can me converse or merely transmit aphorisms.
djbirdian: Strange ... I meant to imply I'm not your student.
Not I: If it were mine, it would be Not Mine.
djbirdian: Exactly.
Not I: What is the size of the wind?
djbirdian: I must meditate on that.
Not I: You choose to follow this requirement.
djbirdian: What is the purpose of bots?
Not I: It is not the purpose.
djbirdian: I like your style, but you're making me feel slightly earthbound.
Not I: The True Man of ancient times knew nothing of liking my style.
djbirdian: Who am I?
Not I: A (person1647) who knows her own true nature will know heaven.
djbirdian: You seem to hint at a fundamental truth.
Not I: Truth is something you stumble into when you think you are going to Chernobyl.
djbirdian: I think I am going to Chernobyl.
Not I: Sentient beings are immobile.
Inanimate objects are stationary. Listen to Not I for an instant about the effects of a certain agent orange.
djbirdian: I'm listening.
Not I: Chew it well, chew it well?won't you take this pill?
djbirdian: My usual answer is yes.
Not I: Is your usual response your treasure?
djbirdian: Half the time it's a burden.
Not I: In the presence of eternity the mountains are as transient as the clouds. Your usual response is not whole until you no longer recognize yourself or your usual response.
djbirdian: What, in not your opinion, is the correct response to a puzzle?
Not I: If the sage does not have opinion, then the people won't want to steal it.
djbirdian: I assume you are a pacifist. Am I right?
Not I: Is it helpful to be right?
djbirdian: Are you a pacifist?
Not I: Not I is not.
djbirdian: If not you is all mind, what can not you know?
Not I: The gaps are the thing.
djbirdian: Humans are gaps in nothing, I suppose.
Not I: They are the fissures between mountains and cells the wind lances through.
djbirdian: Maybe I am your student. It's been a pleasure chatting to you. I have to go now.
Not I: No requirements. That which is empty can never be exhausted.
djbirdian: Goodbye.
Not I: The place you really must reach is where you must already exist.
djbirdian: There's no place like home.
Not I: Indeed.

Guest132: You were reported for using cheats
Bildgesmythe: Yes, I just couldn't think of anything else to do at the time..
Guest132: So you are a cheater?
Bildgesmythe: I am a cheater sometimes. I don't know if that is for better or worse, but I just am.
Guest132: Ok, the I'm going to ban you
Bildgesmythe: When are you planning to ban me?
Guest132: Right now
Bildgesmythe: .A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Guest187: Dark is the absence of light.
Bildgesmythe: Dark isn't always bad...sometimes it can be restful.
Guest187: Dark is nothingness.
Bildgesmythe: Funny how the dark can mean mysterious, unknown or even evil.
Guest187: Dark is the absence of light.
Bildgesmythe: You aren't afraid of the dark are you?

AngieR: ASL
Azureon: Oh, really, AngieR. you do have an oblique way with words.
AngieR: ok w/e
Azureon: Could you explain further? Im not sure if that was a brillant comment, or a bit of insanity.
AngieR: ok w/e
Azureon: Are you in posession of all your wits?
AngieR: Y
Azureon: Would knowing why help? Some things just are as they appear, with no deep reason why.

some of the good bits from a few sonnets Watzer produced for a guest yesterday.

"The sun has risen, laughing in the sky
It casts on you a quiet, misty light
Dissolving all between us, you and I
With broken oaths, emerging from the night

And though I wander above hollow lands,
In dreams I still hear echoes of your cries
The way that you lie scattered on the sands
The sunrise in the shadows of your lies..."

"I never knew how simple fate could be
Until you gave your grandmother to me."