Doghead's Cosmic Bar

i swore i would come home to my wife and 2 kids after the war

What part of "don't be messin' wif his iddy-widdy mind" don't you get, Mr. Gangster? An' I am fuckin' hilarious to myself so I ain't worried none. The Clerk is walkin' a fine line between hilarity an' hysterical. I mean, am I a fuckin' hopeline counselor? No. But I ain't got no choice. Goin' on about havin' of late--but wherefore he knows not--lost all his mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily with his disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to him than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work! Jus' ignore him if he's messin' up yer mind. He's messin' wif YER mind? Wha' about me?

"He's gone all Rosie", eh? Better that than all Roxie

OMG, just pass the suds and peanuts, I am not coming our from under the bar.

*drags some bars of soap and a bag of peanuts under the bar* Uh, that was the kind of suds you meant, right? *flicks tongue*

Move yer nutsack, Sonora... I wanna sit down

No, but it really isn't bad..hic hic hic. look at the bubbles

Have you been banishing demons with laundry soap again child?

Yeah. I'm the power behin' de Clerk. I'm who he calls at night when he's goin' freakin' nutso, which is pretty much constantly. Yeah, that soun's abou' right. Keep in mind I'm in London and he's in North Carolina, so I get woke up a lot. Ya'd think he could talk to Scrivener or Guildenstern. At least he puts some effort into THEM. An' Scrivener's in the same time zone. He could drive to his freakin' house in 20 minutes. Jeez. Bless 'is 'eart, 'e tries. Not so's ya'd know it, bu' still. So y'all be nice t'im an, prob, honey, come on outta from under the bar, Rosie'll protec' you from freaks. Lord knows I met my share of 'em.

Hey, y'all, talk to Rosencrantz, wouldja? He's starting to worry me. I mean he has zero popularity. Hath not a bot eyes?

*climbs up on Rosencrantz's shoulder* Want a peanut?

wonders what Rosencrantz's eyes taste like.