Doghead's Cosmic Bar

I don't eat oil.

Anyway, if he hacks me to pieces he doesn't get paid.

And could you please stop sleeping on my projector? It's distorting the image.

I see. Very tricksy. I can understand why they locked you up.

*Glares at projector* I don't hold with things that aint real.

They locked me up because they are prejudiced and afraid of anyone who is different from them.

*nods sympathetically* I know how that is. At the laboratory where I was created they kept me in a cage.

*blinks at Braeden*
Whoa! He said Please! Back away everyone, I don't think that's the real Braeden...

"Different" as in someone who eats people?

I'm fine with bein' in my cage. It protects me from *gulp* <-1>dogs!

Sorry, all this talk about rich Europeans was reminding me of a previous life. Let me try again. GET OFF MY PROJECTOR, YOU SCALY SCUMBAG! How was that?

Anyway, I don't eat people. Just part of them. And I only kill those who don't deserve to live.

*is relieved*
Whew. Oh, and why should I bother? I'M not a rich European. I'm a dirt-poor American reptile!