Doghead's Cosmic Bar

I think we should put a door on Mark the Hunk.

How about some ducktape?

Quick! All you lesbians give me your torture devices! Ermm...no no NO not THAT way! Aaaaaaahhhh!!!

Anybody care to join me in falling face forward into a table of overturned glasses and spilt drinks?
*splat!*
Too late.

*runs out of bar screaming with rabid gay men following*

thanks for sticking up me opps I mean sticking up for me.

*raises soping head and bleary eyes from table* Ish thish a shtickup?
*splat*

Mark the Hunk shall die. NotKirby, I choose you!

OK, even I can't take much more of this (at least not sober).

Can somebody mix me a REAL mai tai? (Hint: no matter what instructions Dogh'd may have left, it does NOT involve marinated shrimp butter and crusted waste product.)

what is that?

I'm not entirely sure. Somewhere between a screwdriver and a Bahama Mama. Anyway, it's tall and contains hard liquor. What more do you need to know?

I'm tall and contain hard liquor...