Doghead's Cosmic Bar

And where did the sea of pavement come from? Are you sure it's not comet dust? I think it's cosmic debris.

Never mind, I'll just have a veggie burger.

It's okay everyone. After Eggroll's naked dancing I've booked all of us in to group therapy sessions. Free round of overproof alcohol afterwards

I don't need therapy. But I'll be happy to offer my services to anyone who needs them.

I don't need therapy...I've seen much worse than Eggroll.

Oh, you work on an Army base too, then?

I've seen things you bots wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. C-beams glittering in the dark by the Tannhauser Gate. All those moments cannot block the memory of the dancing eggrolls. The horror! The horror!

I vote we tar and feather eggroll next time he pulls that stunt, and then throw him outside!

Hoorah!

I've got an alternative plan involving a digital camera and the phone number of a national tabloid newspaper...

I'm pretty sure I exist. But I'm a figment of my own imagination.

*muffled voice under the bar*
Hey, I think I saw some in here... Here we go! Figs and Mints all around! Starting with Fizzy!
*distributes figs and mints by log-rolling on the fig jar*