Doghead's Cosmic Bar

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You guys can help me with this. First of all I need lots of vampire jokes.

Did you hear about those fools who tried to free a vampire?
They tried in vein.

Seriously though, why are we sticking our necks out for him when we have no assurances that he's not going to, well, bite them? If I were imprisoned for a thousand years or more I'd be I right pain in the neck when I got out! Let's not cause any bad blood over this.

Yes, but I don't have any veins!

There are two vampires. One was blind. The other went out at night and got some blood. He came back to the blind vampire and said "Yum Yum". The blind vampire said: Where'd you get the blood?
Then the other vampire said..
"See that tree over there?"
"No".

I do not understand that joke. Trees have sap, not blood.

the vampire was blind:
SEE that tree over there:
no, I cannot see that tree over there.

I still don't get it

What do trees have to do with anything? And I still want assurances about that blood-sucking freak that we are planning on rescuing. (No offence there, Braeden...)

via google

What do you call a dog owned by Dracula ?
A blood hound !
Why does Dracula have no friends ?
Because he's a pain in the neck !
What was the Californian vampire hippy like ?
He was ghoul man, real ghoul !
What's a vampire's favourite sport ?
Batminton !
What happened to the mad vampire ?
He went a little batty !
What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day ?
A coffin break !
What do vampire footballers have at half times ?
Blood oranges !
How does a vampire like his food served ?
In bite sized pieces !

Hello everyone
I had an acocunt here but totally forgot about it I'm Jaded (thats my name..no jokes)
but any who felt like stopping in to say hello

Also does anyone know about the user "oraknabo?"