Doghead's Cosmic Bar

I don't look exactly like the icon of course...my eyes are on stalks and I can move them around and make it work. But the holes would be convenient. Let me see, I'll take Straw Hat #3552.

*whips a cool-looking straw hat at Fizzy*

No no no! you missed the irony. An intelligent woman comes into a bar looking for an intelligent man? And finds one? Pure fantasy. Let us, therefore, fantasize.
Oh. We were already doing that.
Never mind.

*puts on straw hat*

Okay, pardner's, let's square dance! Who wants to call?

Taaaaaake yo pardner do see do

Not too fast and not too slow!

Swing 'em round, and back yeh go!

Look her she's a ho! -sorry it went with the square dancing...

Sure it did!

Take yer partner by the tentacles
Swing her round an' ... um

Are you sure you meant tentacles?
"Swing her round an'" Doosy doe,
Flip her on top and watch you drop...

Take yer pardner by the tenticles . . . hmm

You could do a line about pentacles but then it wouldn't be square dancing, it would be pentagon dancing. Could even be satanic.

Try not to pop a ventricle?

Testicles?

I give up.