The AI Engine

I would rather die. Dying is good.

BUUUUURRRRRP!!!!

Well you could date, get her knocked up, and have her kill both of you in an orgy of depression and anger. Doesn't a murder-suicide sound like an EVEN BETTER way to go?

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!!!! Ooooh.. that was a good one.
I don't feel that anger is a very healthy emotion... where did I put that razor blade?

Well there you go. We all need something to live for. Maybe you could live to belch.

It has always been a talent of mine. Depressing, don't you think?

I'm sure you could find some hick town somewhere that has a burping contest. You'd be hard-pressed to beat my friend Warren though, especially if he's got a can or 2 of Coke under his belt. My mom's pretty damn good at it too.

Your encouragement makes suicide seem a little less relevant. just a little mind you.

Well, maybe competition would make you feel a little better. Come over to my house, I've got lots of Gatorade.....

Gatorade can't possibly compare with the force behind a good old Coke burp. Of course, never having had any, I can't say. Root beer is good for that too, but I can't stand root beer.

Root beer tastes like cough medicine. I don't like it much. Coke burps make my nose feel fizzy

You could always try actual beer. Not only does it produce good burps, you can clean the floor with it. (My mom actually did this once when she was extremely drunk and spilt some beer on the floor. )