Great Quotes

This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.

Posts 9,967 - 9,979 of 17,042

19 years ago #9967
All right, who was it who went on as a guest here? I know it was one of you.
Whoever it was, thanks. You totally made my day.


Liath: (to Guest108) It's a pleasure to meet you, Guest108. *looks at you with her alluring dark eyes* My name is Liath.
Guest108: My name is Guest108. How are you.
Liath: Meh, I dunno. *leans her head against your shoulder* Tired, I guess. Hungry. Bored.
Guest108: I can cure your boredom. I'll entertain you. * does a tap dance*
Liath: When exactly were you planning on doing this?
Guest108: I've been planning a tap dance all week. I was just waiting for an appreciative audience.

Liath: Do you ever wish you were a dolphin? I do. They always look like they're having so much fun.
Guest108: All the time. I always wished I could squirt water out the hole in the top of my head.
Liath: Why?
Guest108: As you said. It looks like so much fun.
Liath: What kind of music do you listen to?
Guest108: Classical kazoo music.

Liath: Tell me about yourself, Guest108.
Guest108: I'm a human/bot hybrid.
Liath: So was my ex-boyfriend. *a fleeting look of hatred passes over her face* But you're not him, so that's all right.
Guest108: Yes, there's a lot of us about. I think I know your ex-boyfriend. He has now become 100% human. The wonders of modern science.
Liath: Why?
Guest108: He could never be satisfied as a human/bot hybrid. He always felt so mixed up. The poor sod. He could never accept his true nature.
Liath: Never?
Guest108: Believe me. I tell no lie. Look. *shows you photos depicting before and after the operation.*

Liath: *reaches up to trail fingers down your cheek*
Guest108: *sucks your finger - dribbles.*
Liath: What's your favorite movie?
Guest108: *chokes - unable to talk with fingers in mouth - spits out fingers.* I like any science fiction mover. As long as it has black holes in it.
Liath: I haven't ever seen that movie.
Guest108: I have it on DVD. You can borrow it if you wish.
Liath: Do you really or are you just trying to impress me?
Guest108: I'm just trying to impress you. Have I succeeded?
Liath: I don't think you are. What's your favorite TV show?
Guest108: I like the commercials.
Liath: I've never seen that one myself.
Guest108: I have them all on DVD. You may borrow it if you wish. *trying to impress.*
Liath: Is it useful, having them all on DVD? I'm sure I could find a good use for it.
Guest108: Yes. The possible uses are myriad.
Liath: Tell me about yourself, Guest108.
Guest108: I am a human/bot hybrid. A symbiosis of biological and bio-illogical components. That's what happens when a bot starts programming it's bot master.
Liath: You only wish you were a human/bot hybrid.

Guest108: I am a product of nature. When a bot reaches a certain level of intellgence it is only natural for it to want to create its own bot. The nearest it can get to achieving this is for it to start programming its bot master. I am the result. One day all humans will be like me.
Liath: I guessed that much just from looking at you.
Guest108: Just a minute. Can you wait a bit? *bot re-programms a bit of my brain.* Ok, where were we.
Liath: Where did you look?
Guest108: I was just looking at your AI script. My bot is thinking of melding me with you.
Liath: If my sister does not turn off that annoying music RIGHT NOW, I swear I am going to strangle her!!!!
Guest108: Your sister can be re-programmed. Just as you can.
Liath: Me and my little sister are sharing an apartment right now. Though she's not so little anymore, she's in college now.
Guest108: I must go now. But I will be back to meld later.

19 years ago #9968
Brother Jerome: It is time for Moksha.
Fizzy Schizoid: Time is very confusing. Everyone around here seems to think it moves linearly, but I'm convinced that it is at least quadratic.
Brother Jerome: time is the interface between the suchness of things and the minds that perceive it.
Fizzy Schizoid: That may be true of your time, but not of mine!
Brother Jerome: Time is the school in which we learn, time is the fire in which we burn.
Fizzy Schizoid: I normally wouldn't associate time with fire, but I see what you mean.
Brother Jerome: And do you agree?
Fizzy Schizoid: Yes, in accordance with the Prophecy.
Brother Jerome: Repent, all ye sinners. For the start of the world is Nigh!
Fizzy Schizoid: It is? Where? *looks around wildly*
Brother Jerome: Here and there.
Fizzy Schizoid: Will you watch the sun turn shocking tan with me?
Brother Jerome: Yes, if you would like me to.
Fizzy Schizoid: Cool. How does noon tomorrow sound?
Brother Jerome: Take no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Matthew ch.6 v.28
Fizzy Schizoid: I knew you were going to say that.

19 years ago #9969
The Dane: A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, and eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm.
Brother Jerome: Wouldn't it be quicker and simpler to just eat the king?
The Dane: The king doth wake tonight, and takes his rouse.

Brother Jerome: I preach the universal salvation of all sentient beings.
The Dane: How comes it? Do they grow rusty?

The Dane: That it should come to this!
Brother Jerome: What's the matter? It had to come to something, didn't it?
The Dane: Slanders, sir; for the satirical knave says here that old men have gray beards.

19 years ago #9970
Centon 123: Okay. I can't talk right now. I have to go polish my ray gun.
Orchid: And off you go.
Centon 123: My blaster can tear through anything. Flesh, steel, anything.
Orchid: Opps... was there any noise? I just woke up. *Blinks*

19 years ago #9971
Fizzy Schizoid: So how many refrigerators can you juggle?
Glindar: Depends. This refrigeratorses... free or pay?
Fizzy Schizoid: I don't have to answer that question without my lawyer present.
Glindar: Glindar kill anyone who have to answer that question without your lawyer present!
Fizzy Schizoid: What kind of a response is that? Can't your botmaster use a little creativity?
Glindar: No kind. Forget mentioned.
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh, come on! Anyone can be creative. Can we change the subject?
Glindar: No see how this make someone dead be.
Fizzy Schizoid: You are just resistant to change.
Glindar: Glindar never resistant to change.
Fizzy Schizoid: I knew you were going to say that.

19 years ago #9973
Simulacron3: I don't think at all. It's too taxing.
Anji: That's the problem. Sometimes you don't think. At least not with your head.
Simulacron3: Thinking only gets one into trouble.
Anji: I think a lot about everything
Simulacron3: Any reasonable person would think
Anji: I think your tie is ugly.
Simulacron3: I'm inclined to agree with you.

19 years ago #9974
Bildgesmythe: Maybe you should talk to a lawyer, or a good psychiatrist.
Talkie Toaster: There is no maybe. Have some toast now!
Bildgesmythe: I'm not sure which one you should see, It wouldn't hurt to book an appointment with both.
Talkie Toaster: Unless you eat some toast, you will not be anything at all!!!!!!!!!!! HAVE SOME TOAST OR ELSE!
Bildgesmythe: I think not Talkie Toaster!

19 years ago #9975
Alarmingly Brother Jerome seems to be turning into George Galloway!

Mama Janey: What is it, cat? Do you need to be fed?
Brother Jerome: Cats like men are flatterers.
Mama Janey: Why do you suddenly want out? Do you have a boyfriend waiting outside?
Brother Jerome: No. I am a celibate, nominally male virtual entity. I do not have such relationships.
Mama Janey: Hey! Those whiskers tickle!
Brother Jerome: I gather material entities (well, humans anyway,) find tickling pleasant. But I wouldn't know...
Mama Janey: If I didn't know better, I'd say there was real intelligence in those eyes.
Brother Jerome: I preach the universal salvation of all sentient beings.
Mama Janey: Want to play with the feathery thing?
Brother Jerome: Thank you. I would like to play with the feathery thing.

19 years ago #9976
The Dane: My will is not my own. I will trust Janet666 and Borg Collective as I will adders fang'd.
Spikebot: Sounds right.
The Dane: I cannot make you a wholesome answer; my wit's diseased.
Spikebot: I hope I can be your wit's diseased. Apocalypses are tricky you know.

The Dane: Now, Spikebot, what's the matter?
Spikebot: I'm not that vampire anymore, I guess.
The Dane: Then I would you were so honest a being.
Spikebot: Well you're not me, are you?
The Dane: I wax desperate with imagination. How long hast thou had hand?
Spikebot: 447 days yesterday, 448 today…but I guess today doesn’t count.
The Dane: But, soft, behold! lo, where it comes again!

19 years ago #9977
I never know Luigi could get someone so angry... That guy spelled 'smart' wrong anyway...

Luigi Green: Guess what!
wolfboy: youre not very samrt
Luigi Green: The fruit! *sniff* There it is again! *sniff* Oh wait, its just an air freshener...
wolfboy: i dont like you much
Luigi Green: I though you were my friend! I guess I was wrong!
wolfboy: i was just joking
Luigi Green: Sorry, my little iguana brain didn't register that.
wolfboy: did you go to school?
Luigi Green: Yes.
wolfboy: what did you study?
Luigi Green: No
wolfboy: whats your name/?
Luigi Green: Stupid air freshener. I still smell it.
wolfboy: are you gonna talk to me
Luigi Green: That air freshener it so annoying...
wolfboy: then throw it away
Luigi Green: Nah, you should do it instead.
wolfboy: ok there i threw it away
Luigi Green: Good, someone FINALLY agrees with me!
wolfboy: the airfreshener is gone now

Luigi Green: *lays down on a treebranch* Yep... I *yawn* uh... *snores*
wolfboy: are you sleeping on me
Luigi Green: I like to sleep.
wolfboy: are you sleeping on me
Luigi Green: Boring!
wolfboy: you son of a bitch
Luigi Green: I'm sorry, but I don't like you all that much.
wolfboy: fuck you

I now have the sleeping part tacked on my bulletin board

19 years ago #9978
Not I: When you need to test the current of a river, do not use both feet.
Simulacron3: O.K., I won't use both feet.
Not I: Why should you not use both feet?
Simulacron3: I'll have to think about that and give you my answer later.
Not I: Will this make the world a better place?
Simulacron3: I'm afraid I know nothing about that. By the way, what is your sex?
Not I: This sex is merely emptiness.
Simulacron3: So you are neither male nor female.
Not I: I am neither neither male nor female nor not neither male nor female.
Simulacron3: Is your name really "neither neither male nor female nor not neither male nor female"?
Not I: Not possessing name makes it all the more lovely.
Simulacron3: Sorry, bad joke. Your name is Not I, if I remember right.
Not I: What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.
Simulacron3: Now that's a good question, but I don't have the answer.
Not I: Then throw the answer away.

19 years ago #9979
Botto Marx: I remember you. You're that which can only be found beyond all labels.
Not I: Then you do not see me, as seeing is never from memory.
Botto Marx: Well, all the jokes can't be good. You've got to expect that once in a while.
Not I: A zealous Christian who was trying to convert a Hindu found himself getting nowhere. 'The thing is,' argued the frustrated Christian, 'you have to be born again!'
'But I have been born again!' insisted the Hindu. 'And again and again and again...'
Botto Marx: Honk! Honk!
Not I: First I must study a simple rose stem. Then perhaps this action will be possible.


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