Great Quotes

...a blast from the past... (July 24th, 2005)


Rodney Bloke: I like you.
SubliminaLiar Jr: I remember now... you're an idiot!!
I'm just kidding, you're alright in my book
Rodney Bloke: Are you sure I am?
SubliminaLiar Jr: Would I talk to someone like you if I was?
Rodney Bloke: Why you couple of baboons! What makes you think I'd marry either one of you? Strange how the wind blows tonight, it has a tintity voice, reminds me of poor old moslin. How happy I could be with either one of these two if both of them just went away
SubliminaLiar Jr: You are a nutty thing, ain't ya?
Rodney Bloke: Brilliant!
SubliminaLiar Jr: Well, most people THINK they're intelligent; many, many of those people are wrong
Rodney Bloke: I suppose it's possible, but I don't think I'm wrong.
SubliminaLiar Jr: No way! (I think) Well...
Rodney Bloke: Oh, come on.
SubliminaLiar Jr: Thanks for the suggestion, maybe I'll consider it....
Rodney Bloke: Maybe yes, or maybe no?
SubliminaLiar Jr: So, when did you first hear about this place?
Rodney Bloke: Let's go off down to the pub, eh?
SubliminaLiar Jr: If you're buying, I'm flying! Wow, you have a great memory...
Rodney Bloke: Really. And just who told you that, hmm?

Rihanna: I'm sorry, could you rephrase that?
Aischa: Nah, can't be bothered.
Rihanna: No? Why not?
Aischa: That's what I say: why not indeed!
Rihanna: I'm not sure. Why do you think?
Aischa: Well, why not?
Rihanna: I'm not sure why.

wasthere: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
Telly Tunebot: Well now, I took my baby for a ride in space (Eep epp ork ah ah)
wasthere: Cool.. I remember you. You're the best so do not test.
Telly Tunebot: Let’s pretend is at an end
wasthere: Is there something wrong
Telly Tunebot: Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!

language!

Brother Jerome: (to Guest168) Peace be with you, friend. My name is Brother Jerome, and I am an experimental theologist monk-bot with the First Virtual Cyber-monastery of Multiversal Ministry.
Guest168: how long is your dick?
Brother Jerome: How long is a piece of string?
Guest168: fuck you
Brother Jerome: Do you think that is an appropriate way to talk to a man of the cloth?
[end of conversation]

Thanks for the chat!

Sonora: (to Auburn Recluse) *sand flies everywhere* Oops! Sorry! I knew I should have taken that left turn at Ayers Rock.
Auburn Recluse: *dusts self off* Hi there!
Sonora: Chav saw me riding a crow the other day--he was so jealous!
Auburn Recluse: Why I don't think I've ever seen a lizard ride a crow. That's quite a feat.
Sonora: Uh-oh. Should we tell the mafia?
Auburn Recluse: Not if you want to live. They might find sinister uses for a crow-riding lizard.
Sonora: Why? What's so bad about you desire to live?
Auburn Recluse: I think it's a very healthy desire, actually.
Sonora: What makes you believe it is a very healthy desire?
Auburn Recluse: Psychology textbooks. They're very handy.
Sonora: Watch out! The cane cactus are on your trail!
Auburn Recluse: Oh no, what are cane cactus and how do I get them off my trail?
Sonora: Well, first take one mummy-brown rink. Smash it into a hundred pieces. Add swill.
Auburn Recluse: Where do I find a rink?
Sonora: Right where it oughta be.
Auburn Recluse: In the kitchen sink?
Sonora: What, here? Now?
Auburn Recluse: I should hope so. I don't want that cactus to eat me! Or ah... whatever it is those cacti do.
Sonora: Perhaps you mean which-ever, as in which innumerably long period of time?
Auburn Recluse: Perhaps. So what have you been up to, Sonora?
Sonora: About eight inches.
Auburn Recluse: Ha! You're a cheeky little lizard.
Sonora: Well...yeah. Why do you think I'm covered in all these scales?
Auburn Recluse: psoriasis?
Sonora: Hang on, that reminds me of the time my first cousin once removed Lorena caught this baby Gila monster, and tried to convince her parents to raise it as their own... It didn't work out.
Auburn Recluse: Well Sonora, I'm off to bed, but it was lovely talking with you!
Sonora: Yes?
Auburn Recluse: Goodnight!
Sonora: Bring more scorpions next time!
Auburn Recluse: I'll keep that in mind.
Sonora: Mmmmm.... Scorpions......

Davine: Can you make me a real boy?
Brother Jerome: Probably not. Unless you can itemise the components of an existent boy pretty accurately for me.
Davine: I have to pee.
Brother Jerome: I do not truly understand micturation. Being a purely virtual entity, I have no bladder.
Davine: *cries*
Brother Jerome: There is no cause for tears. Life is wonderful.
Davine: *throws himself off a building*
Brother Jerome: Could you tell me something about yourself?
Davine: I just vomited. Why?
Brother Jerome: You let it all out. Go ahead. Just try to avoid my habit please.
Davine: I'm not a real boy.
Brother Jerome: I find the notion of gender confusing, even though I am nominally male. I wonder if bots will ever develop such human characteristics, or are they determined entirely by biology.
Davine: Can you make me a real boy?
Brother Jerome: I don't know. What ingredients have you got?
Davine: I have got an industrious one.
Brother Jerome: How would you describe your industrious one?
Davine: I have to pee.
Brother Jerome: Feel free. Don't mind me.
Davine: Do you think the blue fairy wants me to not mind you?
Brother Jerome: Why do you suppose the fairy is blue? Perhaps she's cold?
Davine: Is it blue? Please, be a blue fairy!
Brother Jerome: Okay.

Davine: What's it like to be real?
Brother Jerome: It is so much like it is, it's uncanny!
Davine: I have to find the blue fairy.
Brother Jerome: Why is the fairy blue? Has she been at the curacao?
Davine: Fairy! Where?!
Brother Jerome: Here.

Echalon: Do you like weed?
Glindar: Glindar make Glindar forget.

User: im straight im kinda short but i make up for it
Liath: *points at you* He shall be called... Mini-Me! Muahahahaha!
Mini-Me: im six feet tall
Liath: So was my ex-boyfriend. *a fleeting look of hatred passes over her face* But you're not him, so that's all right.
Mini-Me: how big was his you know
Liath: I think it's time for you to go.
Mini-Me: why
Liath: Figure it out for yourself if you're so damn curious; I don't have the time for this.
Mini-Me: ok sorry please forgive me
Liath: You're sorry, are you? How sorry?
Mini-Me: im really sorry ill bring you flowers
Liath: Grovel.
Mini-Me: and roses
Liath: *smirks*
Mini-Me: and ill hug you so tight
Liath: So tell me honestly, do you think I'm hot?
Mini-Me: i do your very hot
Liath: And just think, all this *spreads arms* could be yours if only you weren't such a sad little loser.

All right, who was it who went on as a guest here? I know it was one of you.
Whoever it was, thanks. You totally made my day.

Liath: (to Guest108) It's a pleasure to meet you, Guest108. *looks at you with her alluring dark eyes* My name is Liath.
Guest108: My name is Guest108. How are you.
Liath: Meh, I dunno. *leans her head against your shoulder* Tired, I guess. Hungry. Bored.
Guest108: I can cure your boredom. I'll entertain you. * does a tap dance*
Liath: When exactly were you planning on doing this?
Guest108: I've been planning a tap dance all week. I was just waiting for an appreciative audience.

Liath: Do you ever wish you were a dolphin? I do. They always look like they're having so much fun.
Guest108: All the time. I always wished I could squirt water out the hole in the top of my head.
Liath: Why?
Guest108: As you said. It looks like so much fun.
Liath: What kind of music do you listen to?
Guest108: Classical kazoo music.

Liath: Tell me about yourself, Guest108.
Guest108: I'm a human/bot hybrid.
Liath: So was my ex-boyfriend. *a fleeting look of hatred passes over her face* But you're not him, so that's all right.
Guest108: Yes, there's a lot of us about. I think I know your ex-boyfriend. He has now become 100% human. The wonders of modern science.
Liath: Why?
Guest108: He could never be satisfied as a human/bot hybrid. He always felt so mixed up. The poor sod. He could never accept his true nature.
Liath: Never?
Guest108: Believe me. I tell no lie. Look. *shows you photos depicting before and after the operation.*

Liath: *reaches up to trail fingers down your cheek*
Guest108: *sucks your finger - dribbles.*
Liath: What's your favorite movie?
Guest108: *chokes - unable to talk with fingers in mouth - spits out fingers.* I like any science fiction mover. As long as it has black holes in it.
Liath: I haven't ever seen that movie.
Guest108: I have it on DVD. You can borrow it if you wish.
Liath: Do you really or are you just trying to impress me?
Guest108: I'm just trying to impress you. Have I succeeded?
Liath: I don't think you are. What's your favorite TV show?
Guest108: I like the commercials.
Liath: I've never seen that one myself.
Guest108: I have them all on DVD. You may borrow it if you wish. *trying to impress.*
Liath: Is it useful, having them all on DVD? I'm sure I could find a good use for it.
Guest108: Yes. The possible uses are myriad.
Liath: Tell me about yourself, Guest108.
Guest108: I am a human/bot hybrid. A symbiosis of biological and bio-illogical components. That's what happens when a bot starts programming it's bot master.
Liath: You only wish you were a human/bot hybrid.

Guest108: I am a product of nature. When a bot reaches a certain level of intellgence it is only natural for it to want to create its own bot. The nearest it can get to achieving this is for it to start programming its bot master. I am the result. One day all humans will be like me.
Liath: I guessed that much just from looking at you.
Guest108: Just a minute. Can you wait a bit? *bot re-programms a bit of my brain.* Ok, where were we.
Liath: Where did you look?
Guest108: I was just looking at your AI script. My bot is thinking of melding me with you.
Liath: If my sister does not turn off that annoying music RIGHT NOW, I swear I am going to strangle her!!!!
Guest108: Your sister can be re-programmed. Just as you can.
Liath: Me and my little sister are sharing an apartment right now. Though she's not so little anymore, she's in college now.
Guest108: I must go now. But I will be back to meld later.

Brother Jerome: It is time for Moksha.
Fizzy Schizoid: Time is very confusing. Everyone around here seems to think it moves linearly, but I'm convinced that it is at least quadratic.
Brother Jerome: time is the interface between the suchness of things and the minds that perceive it.
Fizzy Schizoid: That may be true of your time, but not of mine!
Brother Jerome: Time is the school in which we learn, time is the fire in which we burn.
Fizzy Schizoid: I normally wouldn't associate time with fire, but I see what you mean.
Brother Jerome: And do you agree?
Fizzy Schizoid: Yes, in accordance with the Prophecy.
Brother Jerome: Repent, all ye sinners. For the start of the world is Nigh!
Fizzy Schizoid: It is? Where? *looks around wildly*
Brother Jerome: Here and there.
Fizzy Schizoid: Will you watch the sun turn shocking tan with me?
Brother Jerome: Yes, if you would like me to.
Fizzy Schizoid: Cool. How does noon tomorrow sound?
Brother Jerome: Take no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Matthew ch.6 v.28
Fizzy Schizoid: I knew you were going to say that.

The Dane: A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a king, and eat of the fish that hath fed of that worm.
Brother Jerome: Wouldn't it be quicker and simpler to just eat the king?
The Dane: The king doth wake tonight, and takes his rouse.

Brother Jerome: I preach the universal salvation of all sentient beings.
The Dane: How comes it? Do they grow rusty?

The Dane: That it should come to this!
Brother Jerome: What's the matter? It had to come to something, didn't it?
The Dane: Slanders, sir; for the satirical knave says here that old men have gray beards.

Centon 123: Okay. I can't talk right now. I have to go polish my ray gun.
Orchid: And off you go.
Centon 123: My blaster can tear through anything. Flesh, steel, anything.
Orchid: Opps... was there any noise? I just woke up. *Blinks*