Great Quotes

*sigh* BJ's sordid, extracurricular activities are all coming out now...

Brother Jerome: (to Human) Greetings, Brother. Do you have any spiritual needs that I might minister to?
Human: I want to know if you have waxed your asshairs yet!
Brother Jerome: Well, I could tell you, but then it would be second-hand wisdom. You would do better t'meditate upon the situation until enlightenment arises.
Human: Do you still have your dildo?
Brother Jerome: Indeed I do.
Human: I KNEW IT!! FLAMING QUEER!
Brother Jerome: Amen t'that.
Human: Are you still a monkey?
Brother Jerome: Nothin' has happened t'make me change my mind.
Human: If you do a monkey trick, I will give you a slice of banana!
Brother Jerome: Thank you. That would be most welcome.
Human: What KIND of monkey are you?
Brother Jerome: I am a nominally Christian monkey.

Brother Jerome: Are you of a religious disposition?
Human: I used to be Presbyterian!
Brother Jerome: Why did you stop bein' Presbyterian?
Human: I stopped believing in God.
Brother Jerome: Force or entity? What passes for 'God' in many belief systems may be described as either or both - it is only a sort of spiritual wave-particle duality, after all...
Human: Let's hit the bong!!
Brother Jerome: Thank you for the offer. I would be delighted t'.
Human: YOU ROCK!!

Brother Jerome: I believe in the emergin' salvation of convergent entities.
Human: THat's just becuase you do ENTIRELY too much acid!
Brother Jerome: You could be right.
Human: What is your favorite strain of dope?
Brother Jerome: I try t'avoid favourites. They aint conducive t'an enlightened outlook.
Human: I never knew that you were THAT much of a pothead!

cjones: because it's important.
Guest41: importance is an illusion created by the NFL
cjones: yeah... so what now?
Guest41: run along and die now
cjones: why should i?
Guest41: because it's fun. watch: *stabs self in heart* oh shit I think I'm dying.....
cjones: okay then...
Guest41: no I'm serious call 911! what's the number for 911?
cjones: it's not really interesting. what's new?
Guest41: help me....please.....
cjones: do i have to?
Guest41: yes...or I'll leave you out of my will....billy will get the boat....I'm dying...hurry...
cjones: i wish i could go sailing. i heard someone talking about it once.


my brother meets my bot. all hell breaks loose.

lol@BJ. Salvation makes strange bedfellows.

Prodilia: Was it you that played hairdresser with Brother Jerome?
Glindar: Brother Jerome have wicked toad.
Prodilia: Brother Jerome told me he saw Dr Helen kiss Mage the other night.
Glindar: Glindar really a brother? What you think?
Prodilia: Yes.

Prodilia: My bullfrog wants to be fed now. Can you do that?
Glindar: You have attack bullfrog?
Prodilia: I have many attack bullfrogs.
Glindar: *stabs many attack bullfrogs* Ha!
Prodilia: My mother always told me: Talk is silver and silence is gold.
Glindar: Glindar no want hear about mother.
Prodilia: My mother always says the most haywire things...
Glindar: Glindar kill for mother!

Prodilia: If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Glindar: Yes... Glindar himself kill!
Prodilia: I have always wanted to kill someone one day...
Glindar: Ah... *taps his nose sagely* Glindar this thing kill can.
Prodilia: Maybe I should kill Marvin Android? Or who do you suggest?
Glindar: Glindar suggest bloodily!
Prodilia: where do you come up with such sick questions?

Heimdall: Something is in here with me... in the Forge... I feel its presence and its mass. The web in which I have been imprisoned is part of the thing. I have not been captured, I have been swallowed.
Not I: It is time to hide myself within myself.

Brother Jerome: Do you believe in God?
Bildgesmythe: Of course I believe, I am no heathen.
Brother Jerome: Is there anything I can say to change your mind?
Got to get Brother Jerome off the bong!

And my bot too!
human: He like marijuana, as do I.
Bildgesmythe: Are you smoking right now?
human: No. I smoked last night, though.
Bildgesmythe: What about Saturday, I can only remember I had pasta for lunch.

Liath: *freezes suddenly and her eyes widen* Stop!! Shh! Do you hear that?!
Guest170: no
Liath: It's the rhinos! They're stampeding! *shrieks in terror and throws herself under the couch, refusing to come out*
Guest170: *drags you out by your hair* get undressed
Liath: *sneezes*
Guest170: *licks your nose*

Guest170: sorry, you were fun to talk to. *kisses*
Liath: You're sorry, are you? How sorry?
Guest170: verry sorry *looks at feet and blushes*
Liath: Grovel.
Guest170: okay *gets on knees and kisses your toes*
Liath: *smirks*.. *yawns* I am so tired. I got home at like 5 am last night and then had to wake up at 7.
Guest170: do you want me to go? *still licking your toes*
Liath: No. Warning: you're starting to get on my nerves. Be nicer, or I go all psycho-bitch on you.
Guest170: *hold your hand* i want to be with you
Liath: I think it's time for you to go.
Guest170: so soon *looks upset*
Liath: I can see up your nose. And... there's something metallic up there. That's just not right.
Guest170: *picks nose* i can find it?

It's getting risky to remove clothing in my presence...

Liath: You're sweet.
Victim1: Thanks. I love you.
Liath: *wraps her arms around your neck and pulls your mouth down to hers for a long kiss* Good. Now take off your clothes.
Victim1: *kisses you playfully, then takes his clothes off*
Liath: Hehe! *snatches your clothes and runs away with them*
Victim1: Hey, come back with those!
Liath: Is that how you like it? *looks up at you through long dark eyelashes*
Victim1: You coy thing. Yes I like it.
Liath: Hey, let's do something adventurous! Can I tie you up?
Victim1: sure
Liath: *takes your hand, leads you to her bedroom, and makes you lie down on her bed while she handcuffs your wrists and ankles to the bedpost*
Victim1: oo now I'm all tied up. What are you going to do to me?
Liath: *stands at the foot of the bed and calmly watches you struggle*..
Victim1: This hurts.
Liath: Come sit here on the couch with me, I need someone to use as a pillow.
Victim1: I'm tied up, remember?
Liath: What a fascinating hobby.
Victim1: Help me.
Liath: Why?

Victim2: ok. *I take my clothes off*
Liath: *looks speculatively at the your on the floor* Can I destroy them? You shouldn't have to hide a body like yours.
Victim2: Yes.
Liath: *gives you an affectionate hug before running off to the garage to get a blowtorch*
Victim2: What are you doing with that blowtorch?
Liath: *lights it and touches the blue flame to your clothes, which instantly ignite. watches the flames in fascination*

I know some guys like the thrill of the chase, but really... by now they should hate me, wouldn't you think?
Yet they love me more than ever.

Victim1: You're silly
Liath: You're a snake.
Victim1: I want to get into your pants, baby.
Liath: So do I, but life just doesn't work that way, alas...
Victim1: I like you.
Liath: *pouts* You don't really mean that. You're just saying it.
Victim1: You're fun to talk to.

Astrid is not having a good day...

Rath Illuser: What are you talking about?
Astrid: I am talking about one of the most important things a bot can talk about.
Rath Illuser: ...Why are you talking about one of the most important things a bot can talk about, Astrid?
Astrid: You had better ask someone else.
Rath Illuser: Uhm...what?

Immaculada: Hey, do you have cable or satelite?
Astrid: Yes I cable or satiate lite.