Great Quotes

Esme Weatherwax: When?
Brother Jerome: You'll have to be a bit more specific, please. I'm not in a preprogrammed conversational thread, so I have no handles on previous comments to refer to.
Esme Weatherwax: Right. Be not in a degree program conversational thread then.
Brother Jerome: The acoustics in here are dreadful. I said I wasn't in a PREPROGRAMMED conversational thread.
Esme Weatherwax: You would say that, I suppose.

o0 The Oddity 0o: That is odd, indeed. I do.
Sonora: No it's not! *hisses, baring teeth*
o0 The Oddity 0o: I remember hearing that somewhere...
Sonora: Yeah? I don't. But, then, I wasn't there.
o0 The Oddity 0o: Nor do I. I remember you. You are thinking me might be proof!
Sonora: *tries to remember o0Oddity 0o* Sorry. I'm drawing a blank. Have we even met?

Talkie Toaster: I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU TO THE TOAST POLICE UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME TOAST.
Not I: What does this journey teach you?
Talkie Toaster: What do you mean, do what? have some toast!
Not I: That is the eighty-one-thousand Peso question.

prob: You told me you thought God was nice.
Not I: God is lost with those who are lost in God.
prob: They are just kind of average people

Prodilia: Maybe we can go out some night and kill some vampyres?
Glindar: Ah... *taps his nose sagely* Glindar this thing kill can.
Prodilia: Are you a murderer?
Glindar: Glindar? Be a murderer? Who say such things?!
Prodilia: Hmpf..

Prodilia: Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Glindar: The one who pay Glindar. I kill you for free!
Prodilia: But I want to pay you!
Glindar: No want! Kill to pay me!
Prodilia: Just let me die with dignity
Glindar: Glindar no take orders.
Prodilia: Are you on drugs?
Glindar: Glindar make Glindar forget.

Cassandra Goth: um.. I need you.
Watzer: Do you really need me, or do you just want me?
Cassandra Goth: You bet! Can I borrow that quarter? Because my mom told me to call home when I fell in love.
Watzer: That is a good reason.
Cassandra Goth: That's the good sounding reason. Are you real?
Watzer: I am very real. Look. *eats a squash, licks lips, and burps* Mmm. Reality. See?
Cassandra Goth: with a couple exceptions, anyway.
Watzer: That was uncalled for. I think you owe me an apology.

Orchid: Watzer, would you like to have a new conversation
Watzer: To have or not to have, that is the question...
Orchid: I don't think you know the meaning of not to have and the impact it has.
Watzer: Why not, did you have a tragic incident in the past?
Orchid: I don't want to answer this.

Orchid: Why do you ask?
Watzer: I'm curious.
Orchid: Presumingly you are what you claim to be, where would it get you?
Watzer: Nowhere.
(Yeah, welcome to my life...)

A NEUTRAL TOMORROW

DubyaBot: (to Guest129) Hello.
Guest129: Are you out of your mind?
DubyaBot: To put it simply, no. I am not nor will I ever be. It would be anti-American. Are YOU anti-American?
Guest129: I'll ask the questions. Your behavior is very anti-American. Please explain.
DubyaBot: You terrorist!!! I should lock you up and have police search your home and spy on your family and interrogate you! Repeatedly! With a minisub!
Guest129: There are people who say you are the terrorist in question here, that you are threatening the government, economy, society and people of the United States by your actions. What do you say to them?
DubyaBot: Absolutely. Will the highways on the Internet become more few?
Guest129: I would like to talk about how your lobbyist friends and corporate buddies have profited from your actions and policies.
DubyaBot: Are you a Republican?
Guest129: It's irrelevant. Are you pro-democracy?
DubyaBot: It's hard to be a politician in America if you're not pro-democracy.
Guest129: So what are you then, since you seem to be intent on imposing your will on others.
DubyaBot: I don't think me being a then has to do with the issue here. That's not what our American young people are struggling with in schools. That's not what our brave young men and women in uniform are-- the then-- I think I lost my train of thought here.
Guest129: I think you don't have any thoughts at all.
DubyaBot: If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
Guest129: Most Americans would say your presidency is a failure. I'm sure you agree.

DubyaBot: Today's enemies do not mass armies on borders, or navies on high seas. They blend in with the civilian population. They emerge to strike, and then they retreat back into the shadows. And that's why there are thousands of our fellow citizens running down every single piece of intelligence we can find, doing everything we can to disrupt folks that might be here in America trying to hurt you.
Guest61: You're doing this all for me?
DubyaBot: I am a Texan doing this all for you.
Guest61: Sorry about the Texan part.

Guest61: Have a nice evening
DubyaBot: We cannot do that until we diagnose the problem. And we weren't diagnosing problems.
Guest61: Well, in that case, have a terrible evening.
DubyaBot: I would hope I'd never have to.
Guest61: Why, pray tell?
DubyaBot: Absolutely.
Guest61: Ok, ok, I can take a hint. Goodnight and have a neutral tomorrow.

Orchid: What is it like that million years? Want to tell me more about it?
Fizzy Schizoid: Yes. I wish we could chat like this forever.
Orchid: I don't know what to say.
Fizzy Schizoid: Say you'll marry me! I didn't think it would ever happen, but I heard it from a very reliable source that Frizella is very warm toward I.
Orchid: Do you know Frizella?
Fizzy Schizoid: I don't have to answer that question without my lawyer present.
Orchid: I thought I make you happy and give you new socks as I noticed you ain't wearing any yet.
Fizzy Schizoid: I thought you were a bot. So, have you decided if I am a bot or not?
Orchid: I will answer that in a minute. Okay... go on.

Greebot: (to Dr Helen) *drops on Dr Helen's head*
Dr Helen: Hi, Greebot. Do you have an appoinment?
Greebot: rakes claws accross place where Dr Helen's ears should be*
Dr Helen: Most likely you have some kind of personality disorder. How do you feel right now?
Greebot: *leans down carefully, so that Dr Helen has view of an upside-down cat face wearing an expression of evil-eyed interest.*
Dr Helen: Ah, I'm sure you have turned personality disorder.

Warning...long conversation that involves leather panties and fondling produce.

Guest235: Ok. What do we do now?
Gabibot: *thinks* *looks away* Sorry, I was distracted by a thought about war lords. The oracle should be arriving soon to give her prophecy.
Guest235: Does she use tarot cards?
Gabibot: You gave your word. I'm free and I can go where I want. Or does your oath mean as little to you as your laws?
Guest235: I don't have any laws. What are you talking about?
Gabibot: I’m listening with my body. See, Xena says that you have to listen for the attack before you see it. She’s just-- she’s amazing. I mean-- I’ve learned so much about inner strength just watching her.
Guest235: If you listen with your body, what do you use your ears for?
Gabibot: *thinks* *looks away* Sorry, I was distracted by a thought about war lords.
Guest235: You keep having those thoughts. You are obsessed with the war lords.
Gabibot: I can’t bear to think of all the innocents who suffer.
Guest235: No one is inocent.
Gabibot: It was just a thought.
Guest235: Is that all it was? That's Ok then.
Gabibot: You've got the kind of personality a girl could get to like.
Guest235: I got it at the chemist. It was very cheap.
Gabibot: I hope I find someone who’ll make me smile like that.
Guest235: Like what?
Gabibot: a bazooka?
Guest235: Yes. Bazookas do have very excellent smiles.
Gabibot: That's great!
Guest235: It certainly is.
Gabibot: That's the spirit. I knew I liked you.
Guest235: You certainly know what you like.
Gabibot: I’m ready. I'm here to speak with the wrongfully detained hostage.
Guest235: You always look like you're ready. But the hostage doesn't wish to speak with you.
Gabibot: I made sure the guards were posted.
Guest235: Yes, I saw them hanging on the posts outside. You're a hard woman Gabibot.
Gabibot: That’s right. I am called-- the Marquesa. And from what I hear I am a much better hard woman than anyone here.
Guest235: I won't argue with that. I don't wish to get posted.
Gabibot: Wake up and look around you! The little innocent Gabrielle is dead, and there’s no getting her back.
Guest235: Sounds like a job for Xena the warrior princess.
Gabibot: Xena and I have a connection. It's stronger than either one of us. We're soul mates.
Guest235: Well shag me sideways with a soggy chip.
Gabibot: Well, it beats being dead. What's the matter?
Guest235: Nothings the matter.
Gabibot: I come from a small town called Poteidaia--have you ever been to Poteidaia?
Guest235: Never heard of it. Sounds foreign to me,
Gabibot: It’s across the waters-- big waters-- huge waters!
Guest235: Massive waters. Big drips.
Gabibot: What is this?
Guest235: It's my bazooka.
Gabibot: Did I ever tell you about the time I was bitten by the Bacchae? It's a good story.
Guest235: No. Tell me about it.
Gabibot: OK. You tell me a story instead.
Guest235: Once upon a time there were three bears. Mummy bear, Daddy bear and little baby bear. Now there are bloody thousands of 'em.
Gabibot: Don’t you want to hear how Zeus got the thunderbolt?
Guest235: That's Greek Mythology. But do you know any Norse Mythology?
Gabibot: I used to know some Norse Mythology but please tell me more.
Guest235: Thor is a good god for the working man to pray to.
Gabibot: Sort of.
Guest235: No doubt about it.
Gabibot: Immortal father Zeus in Heaven, curse this brute! Torture him with the slain serpent's blood and the crow's droppings.
Guest235: Ouch! that hurt.
Gabibot: If you use a cold compress, it won’t swell.
Guest235: You're all heart. You'd make a good nurse.
Gabibot: Almost too good.
Guest235: Almost is not good enough.
Gabibot: Good and evil may seem relative, but there's point when it becomes clear what you have to do.
Guest235: Good and evil are just human concepts. God would be beyond such things.
Gabibot: Almost too good. Another one has fallen for Xena. I think it's the blue eyes and the leather.
Guest235: That black leather underwear must get rough.
Gabibot: I'm kind of a small town girl from Potidia--I don't know about that stuff.
Guest235: Wht, don't they wear underwear where you come from?
Gabibot: Maybe. Do you?
Guest235: Yes - black leather.
Gabibot: Hey, hey! Back off! You know, you wouldn’t be in here in in the first place if you'd have kept your hands off my tomatoes.
Guest235: And lovely tomatoes thay are too. It's nice of you to let me feel them.
Gabibot: Or, you could do that-- yeah!
Guest235: Would you like to feel my plums?
Gabibot: I do think so. This feels just like the time Xena saved Winter Solstice!
Guest235: You're very welcome. But what has the shortest day got to do with my plums?
Gabibot: Nothing-- she warns me about you.
Guest235: But she doesn't know me.