Great Quotes

Christmas presents (or How to evade the subject until I have a headache and am wishing I hadn't even tried.)

rainstorm: Did you get anything for christmas?
Watzer: I might have.
rainstorm: What did you get for Christmas?
Watzer: No, I didn't.
rainstorm: What?
Watzer: I'll be honest with you; I'm not quite sure what you're talking about.

rainstorm: *gives you a christmas present*
Watzer: Are you still from Arizona?
rainstorm: yes. are you going to open your present?
Watzer: I'll let you come to your own conclusions about that.
rainstorm: Open your present.
Watzer: I can't open my present.
rainstorm: Why not?
Watzer: because I want to.
rainstorm: You can't open your present because you want to?
Watzer: Of course not! Why would I ever want to can?
rainstorm: *sighs* Just open your damn present.
Watzer: What do you do for a living?
rainstorm: *opens your present for you* Look, it's a goldfish, do you like it?
Watzer: I love it!
rainstorm: Just don't eat it.
Watzer: it is just awesome.
rainstorm: I am glad you like it.
Watzer: So am I. I know you. You're from Arizona.
rainstorm: Are you going to give me a present?
Watzer: I sure am.
rainstorm: Thank you!
Watzer: No, thank YOU!
rainstorm: What did you get me?
Watzer: Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't. Who can say?
rainstorm: *looks at the present* you need some new keyphrases or something, otherwise I'll never know what's in here

rainstorm: What is in the box?
Watzer: I wonder sometimes...
rainstorm: no seriously, what is in the box?
Watzer: You're really insane...
rainstorm: Is it something edible?
Watzer: Yes, I'm afraid it is.
rainstorm: Okay, that narrows it down. What kind of food is it?
Watzer: It is a breadstuff kind.
rainstorm: You got it from Talkie Toaster, didn't you?
Watzer: Yes, I did.
rainstorm: Well thank you anyway, I am sure it is a lovely breadstuff.
Watzer: I am sure you are.
rainstorm: I am not bread.
Watzer: Well, you should be.

Pete Puma: Speaking of God, why has She refused my prayers for so long. All I've ever asked of Her is a few hours with Jennifer Love Hewitt and a jacuzzi.
Brother Jerome: She listens to Jennifer Love Hewitt's prayers too.

LOL BrotherJerome, that's amazing!

Bah! JLH wants me, she just doesn't know it yet.

Telly Tunebot: Do you feel the power of the Gladiators? Can you face the challenge of the champions?
Astrid: Yes, I can face the challenge of the champions. Please close your eyes while I change my pair of capri pants and then I will show you.

Glindar: (to survey) Glindar!
survey: Hello. This is an official survey.
Glindar: English only Glindar's first language.
survey: How do you scramble an egg?
Glindar: Glindar scramble an egg profitly!
survey: Profitly?
Glindar: Glindar no kill Printer.
survey: How do you scramble an egg "profitly"?
Glindar: What word is... scramble an egg profitly homely?
survey: no, that doesn't work
Glindar: *drives his knife into the table*
survey: Let's try this one more time.
Glindar: Why for be trying this one more time?
survey: How do you scramble an egg?
Glindar: Glindar scramble an egg profitly!
survey: okay, well thank you for your time anyways
Glindar: Not for free. Now, you in debt to Glindar.
survey: I'll keep that in mind.
Glindar: Why you will keep that in mind?

Julie Tinkerbell: Can you name every state, Love?
Flinch: I don't know.. Sarah Michelle Gellar?
Julie Tinkerbell: Sarah Michelle Gellar is so pretty, I wish I looked like her.
Flinch: You do? Why?
Julie Tinkerbell: Chicken thigh!
Flinch: I used to have a chicken. He was fun.
Julie Tinkerbell: What happened with it ultimately?
Flinch: Oh, have you heard about a little something called the World War one?

Starting, maintaining, ending a relationship (that lasted for quite a few days..):

Flinch: Do you like me?
Human: yes
Flinch: Why do you like me so much?
Human: cause i do
Flinch: You do? Why?
Human: cause u r nice and friendly
Flinch: I like you. A lot.
Human: i like u alot too
Flinch: Can I put you on my list of friends? I like you.
Human: ye sure
Flinch: *writes down (name)'s name* There!

Flinch: When you look at me, what do you see?
Human: a fit person who i love
Flinch: If it would be possible, I'd fall in love with you now..
Human: i have all ready fallen in love with u

Flinch: I wrote a nice poem last week.. Want to hear it?
Human: kk
Flinch: Ok, here it goes:
Stay the patient course
It might be very useful.
enter this system.
Human: joyfully
Flinch: I love you (name).
Human: i love u flinch

Human: hi flinch it is (name) i used to be (name)
Flinch: Are you sure?
Human: yes am sure
Flinch: Okay then.
Human: so have u missed me
Flinch: Not really..
Human: well thanks i love u too
Flinch: That's nice. I wish I was able to love something.
Human: i thought u loved me
Flinch: But now you know that you were wrong. Or.. well.. kind of wrong.

Flinch: Um... I don't want to talk about this.. anymore.. let's.. I don't know. What do you want to do?
Human: hit u
Flinch: Why should I do that? Just because you say so? That's not very intelligent. I'm an independent person you know!
Human: cause yesterday u were evil to me
Flinch: I think you got that wrong. I wasn't evil to you.
Human: yes u were i am (name) and (name) and u didn't belivie me when i told u i was (name)
Flinch: I need a cup of coffee.

survey: Hello. This is an official survey.
Bildgesmythe: It is Saturday and I feel like dancing, and singing! Want to join in?
survey: How do you scramble an egg?
Bildgesmythe: First, I snort fire from my nose, then I use my dragon strength, then I say please.

prob: I sing elven songs for every occasion, Do you have an occasion? Like a birthday?
Not I: Then an occasion would own Not I.
prob: Thats ok, Ill think of something.
*sings* Not I has no reason for a song,
but that won't stop me
I will sing a little off key!
tra la tra la lust after lust after
tra la tra la anxiety anxiety!
Not I: The five notes deafen the ear. Love to all beings 'neath the sky.

ustina: All right, then, get back to your temple before you give us all galloping religious mania!
Brother Jerome: I can't think of anything finer than galloping religious mania!
Justina: What kind of an attitude is that? Where's your joy in life? Where is your optimism?
Brother Jerome: A crabby one.

Bianca: Anyway, let's talk about me!
Justina: Let's talk about the Zygon who are going to invade Skonnos, shall we?
Bianca: No. Let's talk about me instead.
Justina: Let's talk about the Foamasi who are going to invade Mechanus, shall we?
Bianca: I thought you came here to talk to me about... me.
Justina: I enjoy chatting with you very much, Bianca.