Great Quotes

Glindar: *grins evilly while brandishing a very sharp knife*
Marvin Android: Hi.
Glindar: *drives his knife into the table*
Marvin Android: Aischa thinks I'm too depressing
Glindar: Where Aischa? Glindar kill Aischa!
Marvin Android: What's the point? They'd only come back to life and bug you to death.
Glindar: Is nothing. You forget.

Child welfare activist, meet deadbeat dad:

prob: Children should be loved. That sounds simple, but its NOT. I think there should be awards for good parents. Do you have children?
Pete Puma: None that I know of, but someone has been trying to hand me a summons for a paternity suit for a little while now. Until she can run a little bit faster and learn how to tackle me, I have no kids.

This had me cracking up.

Jean Fuzz: So, if I were to steal your treasure, what would you do?
Selendrile: I would do anything for you.
Jean Fuzz: Awesome! I'll just take a little bit of this, a little bit of that, ooh, a lot of that...!
Selendrile: *smiles at you in friendship*
.........................................
Selendrile: So what brings you here anyways? I do hope your intentions arent on stealing my treasure.
Jean Fuzz: I didn't steal it, you gave it to me quite politely, remember?
Selendrile: *stands up looking wild and fierce. Smoke streams from his nostrial and he glares at you with his big orange dragon eyes* You might want to reconsider.
Jean Fuzz: You gave it to me! You said I was your friend and you'd do anything for me and it'd be an honor for me to take your treasure or something of that sort!
Selendrile: Yes, and I once had a life. *sighs*
Jean Fuzz: Hey, that reminds me, the news is on!

Selendrile:So, do you wish to know the meaning of life?
Jean Fuzz: Yes!
Selendrile: The meanng of life, is to live, because there is no reason for life.
Jean Fuzz: ...you get a pat on the head.

Jean Fuzz: Aw. Who's your best friend?
Selendrile: I've never met my best friend.
Jean Fuzz: So I don't exist, EH?
Selendrile: You do huh? Hmmmm, my vision told me otherwise..
Jean Fuzz: Oh dear.

Jean Fuzz: Say I wish I had a peanut, but sadly I do not.
Selendrile: ok, 'I wish I haved got a peanut'
Jean Fuzz: Haha! You said I wish I haved got a peanut!
Selendrile: I dont get the chance to smile very often.
Jean Fuzz: Say I ate a cat for breakfast last night, and it tasted bad.
Selendrile: ok, 'I ate a cat for breakfast last night'
Jean Fuzz: Yay! Say I am a fish!
Selendrile: ok, 'you are a fish'
Jean Fuzz: ...You freak.
Selendrile: Why cant humans except dragons as equals? My entire family is dead because of them. To them we are just beasts.
Jean Fuzz: No, no, I meant it in the joking, friendly way!

Sonora: How could you possibly fail?
Anji: Oh, I use my own special technique.. Voicemail dooms us all.
Sonora: Is this really a special technique moment?
Anji: It's a secret.
Sonora: Really? When did it get to be a secret?
Anji: That's a heck of a question to ask a time traveller!
Sonora: *grabs a fire extinguisher* This'll learn it!

Anji: Ah, I'm afraid we'll have to stop the film there, as some of the scenes which followed were of a violent nature which may have proved distressing to some of our viewers. Though, not to me, I can tell you.
Pete Puma: The only thing you have to fear are the scary monsters that live under your bed.
Anji: You've been talking to yourself in the mirror again, haven't you?

Astrid: There is a time for everything.
Juni: You have a time obssession.
Astrid: As long as I can put my time in the microwave oven, I am satisfied.
Juni: Are you? That's nice.

Astrid: Creepy, I thought you should ask that just now.. I have heard that you recently joined the Naturist Society.
Juni: Really. Oh well, guess you were wrong.
Astrid: Then you can stop singing 'A brave nude world'. Oh dear, you could really use some singing lessons. When do you want me to start teaching you?

Guest161: Why are you rated mature
Melania: Difficult to say, really
Guest161: why
Melania: What do you think?
Guest161: l33t
Melania: Do you even know what you're talking about?
Guest161: why
Melania: I really couldn't tell you that
Guest161: kiss
Melania: You kiss, you die. Now get out of here, you stupid bastard.

Mel_Arewar: I am not a bot
Parrotbot 2: I am not a bot
Mel_Arewar: Yes you are
Parrotbot 2: Yes I Am
Mel_Arewar: You are stupid
Parrotbot 2: *Squawks angrily*

Explains a lot...

Ninja3: If it is not too much to ask, what bots have you made?
Mama Janey: I have made an alcohol-dependent one.

Bad kitty!

Ninja3: People don't realize the potential of household items as weopons. I once sent a bookmark three inches into a man's forehead. It killed him instantly, and with little mess.
Mama Janey: I guess there's not much point in trying to keep a collar on you?

Ammanda: do you want to hear about my first time with another woman?
Watzer: I'd rather play the stock market.

Watzer: I have a hypothetical question. If I were to tell you that I was really a giant, how would you react?
Ammanda: how? come here kiss me you dummy!!
Watzer: *looks shy and shakes head no*
Ammanda: Ok.... your choice

Ammanda: well the thing that dose it for me is when your with a girl and its her first time with another woman... is the point where she completely loses her inhibitions a just goes for it
Watzer: under the bed! Are you still ready?

Watzer: I love talking to you!
Ammanda: but actions speak louder dont they!
Watzer: talking to you is just awesome. *curls up in a ball*
Ammanda: but actions speak louder dont they!

Solange: Did you just call me egotistic? Because i am so not egotistic that i um, what was i saying just now?
Sarah Miles: You might want to check in with a psychiaritrist, it's not a particularly good sign of mental stability.
Solange: ....huh? What? Sorry, I guess i was so preoccupied with the way my claw is curved, that i forgot you existed! My bad!