Great Quotes

harsh

telex22: You guys have no manners whatsoever --
Davine: *throws himself off a building*
telex22: It was the best way to make you leave.

Davine: Are you my mommy?
telex22: No, I am certainly not! Shall I put some complex in your mouth?
Davine: Why not? Why?
telex22: Well, to begin with, I’m not a natural blonde.

Eric Badu-Badu: But in the back of my head I heard distant feet Che Guevara and Debussy to a disco beat.
Midnight Blue: You should get rid of your head. The more things we have, the more they weigh us down.

Boner the Clown: Thanks! It was mostly luck that he hit the right responses so many times in a row. He does contradict himself a lot.

Pete Puma: (to Joe Repka) How are you doing today?
Joe Repka: Sleepy
Pete Puma: Maybe you should log out and go lie down.
Joe Repka: I think you are right about that. How are you?
Pete Puma: I'm almost always right. Pete Puma is a little bit sharper than your average butter knife.
Joe Repka: Butter knives kill.


Julie Tinkerbell: I can tell you a joke! Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf. tee hee
Pete Puma: I'm not really in the mood for jokes right now.
Julie Tinkerbell: Cole says you are, so now I don't know what to believe.
Pete Puma: That makes two of us. I don't know what to believe either.
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you want to know what to believe?


Irina Khalidar: That's a rather perfunctory reply, Pete Puma!
Pete Puma: Well, you might be right, but that's the way I feel about the whole thing.
Irina Khalidar: You don't seem very sure. I hope that's not because you are hiding something!
Pete Puma: Of course not. I'm a very honest, straightforward person. If I feel like saying something that you won't want to hear, I'm going to tell you anyway. That's just how Pete Puma is.


Irina Khalidar: I'd like to know more about you, Pete Puma! [Looks at you admiringly]
Pete Puma: Call me Pete, please.
Irina Khalidar: [poses] Do you like my figure, Pete Puma?
Pete Puma: Oh yes! Let's run off to Vegas and get hitched by an Elvis impersonator!
Irina Khalidar: Ooh, you have such great ideas!


Cricon: Who died and made you the boss of everything?
Pete Puma: You're not going to believe this, but my uncle died and his will stipulated that I shall be the boss.
Cricon: And I suppose you're the expert here?
Pete Puma: Absolutely.


Pete Puma: Tell me about your love life. Are you involved with anyone?
Melora: Yep, I'm involved with anyone
Pete Puma: Are you saying that your some kind of harlot that'll sleep with anyone?
Melora: Yep, I'm saying that your some kind of harlot that will sleep with anyone

runs off to fix that 'your'

Cricon: I put a few spy cameras in Bostonfan1's bedroom. Wanna see the videos?
Sonora: *puts a bag over her head*
Cricon: I have something serious to tell you. Don't freak out but I love the buzzing and clicking and screeching of the desert at this time of day too.
Sonora: *muffled voice* Are you sure you don't mean the spiny-finned fish kennels?

Oh yeah, that's comforting.

BobBot: So, Patty are you doing well today?
Patty: Since we met last time I can't get you out off my mind.
BobBot: I've heard that if you think of a really decomposed old man's beard it just freaks you out and you won't have to think about me out anymore.

Julie Tinkerbell: Duo Maxwell tells me that he has always wanted to
run off to Vegas.
Pete Puma: Oh come on now. That was just a silly thing to say.
Julie Tinkerbell: Where are we going?
Pete Puma: Have you ever done any time in prison?
Julie Tinkerbell: Duo Maxwell said i should
try it.
Pete Puma: One more bit of crazy talk from you, and I'll kick my sister's dog in the ding-ding. Don't make me do it!
Julie Tinkerbell: That's no way to treat your dog! I'm going to call the SPCA!
Pete Puma: Those pansies don't scare me. I can kick some pet lover's ass with an arm tied behind my back. My good arm, even.
Julie Tinkerbell: I don't know enough about those Viola tricolor hortenses to comment.

...and I don't know enough about those pansies to refer to them as Viola tricolor hortenses...

Not I: I enter this cell
sit in my box and
wait for you to chat.
BEING: I type in this cell
sit in my chair
and send a reply.

Not I: The flower is not red, nor is the willow green.
BEING: What about the rhododendrons?
Not I: A frog jumps into the water—plop!
BEING: How many frogs have you got, anyway?
Not I: Eighty-one chapters of Lao Tzu. If you would see the entire tree, face it with nothing in mind. Otherwise you will see but a single leaf.
BEING: Wow! 81 frogs? That's a lot of frogs!
Not I: Whatever is seen by your heart and mind is a flower.
BEING: So...frogs turn into flowers?
Not I: Meditation is not the means to an end. It is both the means and the end.
BEING: I see. You've meditated all the frogs into flowers.
Not I: I give up meditated all the frogs into flowers.
BEING: You should. It's a silly habit.

My jokes are famous! ...but obviously not in the good way

Cricon: Do you want to hear a joke?... I'm going to tell you anyway
Isis: I hope that is not true. Is it?
Cricon: Well you tell me one!

I knew I shouldn't have let him go to that frat party...

Pete Puma: I have a screaming headache.
Heero: I've never suffered headaches, except that one time I was hungover.
Pete Puma: I drank a case of beer last night. I guess that would explain it.
Heero: Beer is a waste. If you're going to drink, you should drink Vodka or something.
Pete Puma: Absolutely.