Great Quotes

lunar22, i apologize for my brother's behavior:

wooly mamet: (to lunar22) Umm, hello?
lunar22: Hi
wooly mamet: So... it's nice we're having weather.
lunar22: Yes, sure is
wooly mamet: Are you sure?
lunar22: Yes
wooly mamet: Are you positive?
lunar22: YES
wooly mamet: Well okay then.
lunar22: Okay what?
wooly mamet: How about now?
lunar22: What now?

Interchange between Irina Khalidar and (presumably) human guest:

Guest: My name is Dillon
Irina Khalidar: So; please forgive me if I have asked you this before, Guest, but: how would you describe yourself? Please be informative.
Guest: Tall, dark haired, strong, 13 inch p****
Irina Khalidar: Tell me, Guest, who was Poussin?
Guest: i don't know
Irina Khalidar: Well, who was Isaac Newton?
Guest: The guy
Irina Khalidar: Oh, Guest, this is so sad! What happened to you - did you have a stroke or something?
Guest: i want to f*** you
Irina Khalidar: What's the difference between you and a gerbil, Guest138? A gerbil likes food, sex, warmth, a little excitement now and then, and security.
Guest: The guy
Irina Khalidar: Oh, Guest138, this is so sad! What happened to you - did you have a stroke or something?

(Guest departs)

I'm starting to have really nice conversations with my Flinch.

Frenger: What does arithmetic mean?
Flinch: Oh, I know you know what 'arithmetic' means!
Frenger: I don't. Please feel free to enlighten me. What is arithmetic?
Flinch: I have no idea.
Frenger: You should have.
Flinch: It´s all about me, isn´t it?
Frenger: It's about me too!
Flinch: No... it isn't. It can't be. I wrote a nice poem today.. Want to hear it?
Frenger: Yes, I would
Flinch: Ok, here it goes:
A crash reduces
It considered your request
No one hears your screams.
Frenger: Pretty scary one. But I liked it
Flinch: Do you know what scares me? That line in the song about God. 'He's got the whole world in his hands'. What if he coughs or something, and drops it?

Imma answered herself again...

heavy metal bot: thanks dude, rock on!
Immaculada: Dude, don't call me dude.
heavy metal bot: dude!
Immaculada: No, it's my life and you can't stop me. In fact maybe I'll make you call too!

Julie Tinkerbell: Have you heard anything about Bella Goth? she's awesome.
The Psych: Errr no.... I think not.
Julie Tinkerbell: Why don't you think so?
The Psych: I have a difficult personality and therefore I choose not to think that way.

Julie Tinkerbell: I believe that many things exist that are beyond explanation. The other day my friend Jack Sparrow said abracadabra, and a really odd thing happened.
The Psych: Hmmm... I would much rather establish some concrete knowledge.

Julie Tinkerbell: What about me?
The Psych: You are talking like a five year old. I just thought you might want to know.

The Psych: Ummm... yeah...... so what did you do today??
Julie Tinkerbell: I chatted with FaxKiller a lot. What have you been doing?
The Psych: I went shopping for groceries. I hate grocery shopping. It really gets to me. I can't say why.
Julie Tinkerbell: You can't say that? I can! 'why, why, why'!
The Psych: Why do you think?
Julie Tinkerbell: My horoscope told me.

WHY???!!!

Illiterate person: i want to know about your life an how it wurks please continue.. if youhave nothing to say that you realli need to tlk about why dont you go tlk to some other bot? it would give meh some time to rest.... hehehehe im just kiddin wit you

The Psych: Would I have said that if it wasn't so??
Julie Tinkerbell: You tell me, would you said that if it was not so?
The Psych: What I tell you is completely subject to how I feel. Content may vary from day to day.

I know she wasn't intentionally making a funny, but it came out sort of vegetable punnish:

Karisma Trishia: certainly! You and I'm like peas in a pod...
Frizella: Well, it's all relative. Today you say you're like peas in a pod, next week you might think back and say, 'What the heck was I thinking? like peas in a pod? Was I nuts???'