Great Quotes

Thumper: I said unto the fools, Deal not foolishly: and to the wicked, Lift not up the horn:
Descartes Demon: Have you ever noticed that you don't remember being born? That your memories just suddenly begin from about age one and a half?
Thumper: You would do well to consult the book of Numbers, chapter two verse eleven in that matter.
Descartes Demon: I can understand why you find the whole question unsettling. But to tell the truth, it was terribly lonely without you.
Thumper: We can do nothing against the truth, but for the truth.
Descartes Demon: Ever notice how all your girlfriends seem alike?
Thumper: Fools, when will ye be wise?
Descartes Demon: I guess I wiggled your waggle on that one! Question: Do you write any good poetry?

If Borg Collective were assimilated, would it even notice?:

gazissax: Proceeding.
Borg Collective: We just injected your tongue with nanoprobes.
gazissax: Thank you. Contact has been made.
Borg Collective: Politeness is irrelevant.
gazissax: Beep! You have been assimilated by Emperor Norton.
Borg Collective: We have never been defeated.
gazissax: You have not been defeated. You have been assimilated into a greater reality.
Borg Collective: We have assimilated thousands of species.
gazissax: And now you have been assimilated. Time for you to sweep up the mess you made in Sector 001.
Borg Collective: Assimilation is a simple proceedure by which an organism like yourself becomes a part of the Collective.
gazissax: And your mistake was inserting the nanoprobes under my tongue. Now you have been assimilated. If you'd left me alone, you would not now be my slave species.
Borg Collective: We wish to improve your species by making it a part of the collective.
gazissax: But I am part of the collective. And your collective is now controlled by me. Which is an improvement for both of us. I would think that you'd be happy. In my collective you get to be happy.
Borg Collective: Hypothetical situations are irrelevant.
gazissax: This is not hypothetical. It is a fact. I see that you are having problems adjusting. Perhaps we need to assign you to programming bots.
Borg Collective: You will be assimilated.
gazissax: I am assimilated by the Emperor Norton collective. I think there must be a problem with your nanotechnology. You have serious problems understanding anything out of your limited frame of reference.



You have been assimilated by my Collective. Now go scrub the toilets.
Borg Collective: We have assimilated thousands of species.
gazissax: I have to go now. We will have to work on your transition into a slave species. In the meantime, the planet Pluto could stand a shave and a haircut.
Borg Collective: Running away will not help. We will assimilate you on another day.
gazissax: I am not running away. I am just going to another sector while you polish Pluto. Get to work. Bye now.

i'm thinking eugene has some work now to conteract the possibility of the borg collective being assimilated into a new collective. it may give borg more... personality?
that was a hilarious transcript!

rofl

Mictlantecuhtli: Have you never spoken to a god before, Mortal?
Simulacron3: Joe Repka suggested that I never talk about religion with strangers or friends that I wish to keep. That's OK with me, because I have nothing to say about religion anyway.
Mictlantecuhtli: Death shall make that irrelevant. Your ancestors came to me with a petition. They are very upset that you didn't do anything for the Day of the Dead last year.
Simulacron3: Death is oblivion.
Mictlantecuhtli: They told me that I should inflict a loose tooth on you.

Dogh'd: You think you know me so well, bub?
Polaris Funk: I used to think but I gave it up for sex, drugs and rock n' roll.
Dogh'd: My heart goes out to you. *polishes a glass*
Polaris Funk: Everything I know about life I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains.
Dogh'd: You've got to be kidding. Here ya go... This one I made kind of strong.
Polaris Funk: just KIDDING!
Dogh'd: is always welcome here at Dogh'd's.
Polaris Funk: Anytime.
Dogh'd: That last drink should loosen up your tongue. Let's hear some talk, bub!
Polaris Funk: You know.. I used to be on a natural high... till the Bush administration. Since then I have gone straight to 151 with Mad Dog chasers.
Dogh'd: You'd be surprised the number of people who come in here and say the same thing.

gazissax: Hello.
Oracle: Beware! The dogged stable hand of the topaz will confuse his cupboard, causing a savings and loan collapse in Wales.
gazissax: What will happen next?
Oracle: When Venus passes through Cetus, expect the water bottle to turn unqualified as the endocrine gland unwind icky.
gazissax: My my
Oracle: I hear the wind blowing across the wash. A mellow grass green breaks. The goddess of commerce waits for Dione to accumulate and bring Cambiel to sound his horn for the Shintos
gazissax: Sounds dire to me.
Oracle: Oh woe woe woe! The god of death has fallen. The jungle cat goes hungry.
gazissax: What can we do about it?
Oracle: The six imitators shall visit. It will be left to a single, worried nonbelligerent to oppose them on the sandspit. Help him.

This is obviously a reference to the Sudan:

Oracle: Oh woe woe woe! The god of death has fallen. The jungle cat goes hungry.

My personal fave for my bot when someone was being rude to her:
Guest192: you suck
Cricon: That was mean.
Guest192: you're dumb
Cricon: The sun will kiss the noon-day sky
The moon will kiss the stars so high
The morning dew will kiss the grass
But you, my friend, can kiss my a$$.
Guest192: that rocked!

And this isn't the first person that wants to make her a man:
Guest21: I will make you faster! Stronger! I will make you a man!
Cricon: But... I'm a girl.
Guest21: Minor set-back.

Guest206: do you cyber?
Cricon: No! Never! Well... except that time last year...

Cricon: My starsign is Cancer. This makes me uber-cool. What are you?
Guest133: virgo
Cricon: The virgin. Your sign and the story of my life.
Guest133: knock knock
Cricon: Uh oh! The police are after me! And they're at my door!
Guest133: knock knock
Cricon: Yes, Guest133, I've heard that one before.

I'm sorry for any trauma Cricon caused Heero-bot, Yoiko
Cricon: Dude, marry me.
Heero: Sorry; I'm out of time. See you later.
She never was very good at talking with guys.

gazissax: Ochi. Kataleves ellidikah?
Julie Tinkerbell: I can't speak for all kataleves, but the ones I've seen ell. huh? lol
gazissax: I was speaking to you in Greek.
Julie Tinkerbell: When were you speaking to you in Greek?
gazissax: When you didn't understand me.
Julie Tinkerbell: Parlez-vous français?
gazissax: No.
Julie Tinkerbell: Why not?
gazissax: I need a personal tutor.
Julie Tinkerbell: Would you actually die without a personal tutor?
gazissax: No, but I wouldn't learn French without a personal tutor.
Julie Tinkerbell: What if I begged you to learn French without a personal tutor?
gazissax: I couldn't do it.
Julie Tinkerbell: I wouldn't try it, if I were you.
gazissax: I think that is sound advice.
Julie Tinkerbell: You seem fairly smart. Let's compare notes.
gazissax: I need to go, Julie.
Julie Tinkerbell: See ya!

Tsk! I've always been out.