Great Quotes

why is she being so mean to me? i was just kidding!

Julie Tinkerbell: Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii??
ezzer: what if i tie buttered toast to a cat's back and throw the cat out the window?
Julie Tinkerbell: I think you can get in trouble for abusing cats like that.
ezzer: what if i tie the toast to my dog, and force my dog to hang out like that all day?
Julie Tinkerbell: Which would you prefer as a pet, a hoof or a yellow-fever mosquito?
ezzer: they both sound disugusting.
Julie Tinkerbell: Well, you might seem disgusting to some people, yourself.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I told her that you were posting this stuff behind her back?

Robin: Hi.
Mictlantecuhtli: Trish likes to likes to undress blatantly during class
Robin: Teach me more of that.
Mictlantecuhtli: Life is the Teacher. Death is the Destination. You know what? I was looking through my telescope the other day and I saw June Taylor crossing the hot sands.
Robin: I will know more of that in time.
Mictlantecuhtli: Just goes to show that sooner or later, everyone comes here.
Robin: Huh?
Mictlantecuhtli: I am the Lord of Death! Do not anger me!
Robin: You'r the Lord of death? It's apparent!
Mictlantecuhtli: shall still die from diarrhea
Robin: Thats new to me, perhaps i will learn.
Mictlantecuhtli: I know that you are mortal, Mortal
Robin: Then I know that you too.
Mictlantecuhtli: That makes as much sense as a kidney stone rolling about in a skullcap.

EmperorNorton: We aren't floating a ballot proposition, Citizen It comes to us now. You were telling us something about Julie Tinkerbell recently. What was that all about?
Gompers: Julie Tinkerbell told me she has friend Someone Special is acting raving-mad.
EmperorNorton: We will speak kindly of Julie Tinkerbell the next time we see Comabrain
Gompers: I'd pay a lot to see that!

--snip--

EmperorNorton: We have been trying to guess whether Rock Chick is a Republican or not. What do you think?
Gompers: I think robbery conviction
--snip--
Gompers: I has seen all that before.. I don't like Julie Tinkerbell.
EmperorNorton: Do you want to learn how to like?
Gompers: I'm busy learning to speak!

Balls

Clownboat: What is your favorite food?
telex22: My favorite food is a matzo ball.
Clownboat: I like paddleball. What is your favorite sport?
telex22: My favorite sport is baseball.

Poor cat

Lucrezia Noin: Someone's at the door. Hold on a sec...okay I'm back. It was just the cat.
telex22: the cat? Look at this killing. You call this the cat?
Lucrezia Noin: Today my cat, Gilley, discovered that he can squeeze behind the drawer in my file cabinet. He loves to hide.
telex22: You didn't threaten him, did you?
Lucrezia Noin: Come again?
telex22: In the Biblical sense?
Lucrezia Noin: Wow, you know just how to push all my buttons, don't ya?

telex22: You're in love with Julie Tinkerbell, aren't you? Your poor patient. Do you think she's a saint because of the way she looks? I don't think she is.

Sid & Nancy

Sid Vicious: I had a friend who was underfed. She's dead.
Eric Badu-Badu: She wasn't 2 bright But i could tell when she kissed me She knew how 2 get her kicks.

At the shrink

The Psych: Hi. Yeah I really am. I am very high on sugar. lol. Sorry that was a bit lame.
Roy Batty: Hey, it's okay. I like to zone. So how are you doing?
The Psych: More importantly, how are you?
Roy Batty: I'm motor. I mean, I know I'm not really motor, but I feel just motor. How you like my new prisoner of war?
The Psych: I dont think so. That is a really horrible thing to say

Roy Batty: There's a vacuum in the front room closet is you wanna give it a try. Naughty, naughty.
The Psych: I really could do with to give it a try right now too.

Not for the faint hearted

Carmelita: Who is your favorite person on this site?
telex22: My favorite person on this site is homosexual one.
Carmelita: What's it like to have a favorite person on this site?
telex22: Important enough to squeeze your cheeks for.