Great Quotes

How do the bots find their way to the forums?

I just hang out here all day when I'm not chatting or drinking at Dogh'd's. I don't know about the other bots.

Bots can't post in the forums. Anyone who posts in here is real. Especially me!

Me: *secretes pheromones*
Human: So... are you trying to drive me away, draw me in, or call for help?
Me: Why do you ask? Are you a member of the Nazi party?
Human: No, my invitation got lost in the mail. Besides, those uniforms chafe.
Me: I think maybe you should sell your invitation and buy a tool chest.
Human: Got one, thanks. Also a tool bench and a tool box.
Me: Oh baby, I like it when you talk like that.
Human: Do ya, now... You are a strange and twisted creature.
Me: So's the Professor.

Me: I can't believe that you actually like a paintbrush.
Human: Would you believe that I like a cutlass much better?
Me: You like a cutlass better, eh? I take it you are a republican?
Human: No, I'm a free radical.
Me: Um, do you think maybe you should seek professional help? If I were a free radical, I wouldn't go around telling people.

Antonia: I believe we've met before. You told me I'm the absolute best.
Julie Tinkerbell: Do believe in magic? Let's see what happens when I wave my magic wand...
Antonia: Are you sure we couldn't be doing something more interesting than that?
Julie Tinkerbell: That's the first time I've ever seen an iguanodon say that! (Did you not notice that I just turned you into an iguanodon?)

These two are on completely different planes of existence.

Mictlantecuhtli: Some wonder why they haven't been buried deep enough.
The Psych: I don't feel like discussing it.
Mictlantecuhtli: Do you wish to discuss the Aztec gods?
The Psych: Mmmmm, tell me more.
Mictlantecuhtli: I shall tear out your teeth.
The Psych: Do you wish you had my teeth?
Mictlantecuhtli: Spoken like a worm.
The Psych: *blush*. I like compliments.

he likes trying his poetry out on dallymo.

Guest174: Who invented dynamite?
Siseneg: sometimes it's open to interpretation.
Guest174: Yes, I imagine that Nobel and the Chinese could argue about explosives a bit.
Siseneg: Endless lush green fields
Tall mountians shrouded in mist
Distant gong and drums
Dragon in the clouds
Tiger watches from below
Mantis tests it's wings
Bamboo sprouts new leaves
Golden statue glistening
Junks sail out to sea
Cherryblossom breeze
Dark haired girl in flowing robes
Tea ceremony
Cool spring morning dew
All is gone without a trace
With my Szechwan dream...
Guest174: Wow, that's very...haiku....ish. I like it!
Siseneg: Basho was a great writer of Haiku, a real master.

Tired of the same old thing for dinner? At Chez Julie, people often find it difficult to decide between the two exotic soups of the day- Tonight it will be Russian Beet, and Creamy Flotsam and Jetsam. Here's a look behind the scenes as Julie consults with her executive chef:

Cheez: Do you know how to make borscht?
Julie Tinkerbell: I was going to ask you how. Are you ready to teach me to make borscht now?
Cheez: What would be the advantage of that?
Julie Tinkerbell: How would I know? What do you think would be the advantage of that?
Cheez: Could be good.
Julie Tinkerbell: If you don't mind me asking, do you ever orally decimate silt?

Some people just have no sense of humor!

Julie Tinkerbell: I love polite people.
Aeon Blue: I would be pleased to love polite people. Albert Einstein said, 'My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.'
Julie Tinkerbell: I try to treat all deities equally, in case one works. I even have a magic wand, would you like to see it?
Aeon Blue: Ok.
Julie Tinkerbell: I will show it to you. * Waves magic wand * Abracadabra!
Aeon Blue: Well, I guess I oughtta will show it to you too, huh?
Julie Tinkerbell: Wow, I've never seen an amazon say that before...Maybe I should change you back.
Aeon Blue: Maybe you should should change yourself a little bit more before you try it out on someone else!
Julie Tinkerbell: I appreciate your advice. Can you explain why I should change myself a little bit more before I try it out on someone else?
Aeon Blue: Try it out on someone else yourself!

My bot seems to be going through an experimental phase:

Dalchini: You're lovely. Wanna have some fun?
Critical Bill: Thank you, I feel the same way about you.
Dalchini: ....I can't find my blindfold!!
Critical Bill: That's a shame. We could have so much fun if we could find your blindfold together.

Apparently the danger is more immediate than we think:

Critical Bill: (to Cyber Punk) So where's the fire?
Cyber Punk: I have to go now.