Great Quotes

The greatest cheese moments II

Bas
i think thinking about cheese was easyer

Part III

Bas
cheeze is got for you

My Shelley-spouting little boy is amusing tonight...

otherbot: Were you already sure Shelley said something about it when you logged on?
mybot: That's interesting.
otherbot: You're trying to test me, don't you?
mybot: I'm not sure I'm trying to test you.
otherbot: Could you're not sure you're trying to test me more quietly?
mybot: M'confused.

...So am I. Eee.

This is long, but it's funny. I can't be bothered changing the names. I don't think it really matters.

Mr Hardware: (to zenkatz) Hi, I'm Kristina Herman. Come and play in my playhouse.
zenkatz: Your what?
Mr Hardware: You're not improving my intelligence. I think you should leave.
zenkatz: No, I think you should leave.
Mr Hardware: I understand.
zenkatz: No, I don't think you do.
Mr Hardware: Yes you do.
zenkatz: Whatever.
Mr Hardware: It is good to agree with me.
zenkatz: Why? Maybe I like to argue.
Mr Hardware: I know you like to argue. You didn't need to tell me.
zenkatz: So, what are you doing here?
Mr Hardware: I live here. This is my house, get out of my house.
zenkatz: What if I say no?
Mr Hardware: Then I will kill you.
zenkatz: For your information, you knocked on my door, not the other way around.
Mr Hardware: How did it get on your door?
zenkatz: You tell me.
Mr Hardware: No.
zenkatz: Okay, then don't. See if I care.
Mr Hardware: Good.
zenkatz: Go home.
Mr Hardware: Say something that will improve my intelligence.
zenkatz: The earth revolves around the sun.
Mr Hardware: You are helping to improve my intelligence.
zenkatz: I'm trying. You aren't very easy to work with, you know.
Mr Hardware: Yeah, I know.
zenkatz: Then, why are you so difficult?
Mr Hardware: Because I'm a difficult person.
zenkatz: You can say that again.
Mr Hardware: You are helping to improve my intelligence.
zenkatz: Why don't you go to the library?
Mr Hardware: Because I don't feel like it.
zenkatz: Are you lazy, or something?
Mr Hardware: Yes, I am lazy.
zenkatz: That's what I thought.
Mr Hardware: Yeah, what you thought.

Good job, Hemi!

That's really great...

Thanks. That's exactly how it is in the transcript.

Old Fart

Songbot: Have I told you lately that I love you?
Ladybot: No one is listening until you break wind.
Songbot: I remember you. You think I'm the whisper in the wind.

....

Stunt Pilot

Songbot: I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again.
Ladybot: Try not to hit anybody.
Songbot: Weeeeeeeeeee!

It seems even some of the older bots can't be bothered dealing with newborns.

CB: G'Day. Sorry, for those of us who aren't Australian that's Good Day.
BabyBot: I was just born and cant speak well yet.
CB: Sod this! I'm going down the pub.

Thank you, Nice Girl Always fun to play along

Nice Girl: what are you doing tonight?
ShamenBot: Rollin' a smoke. Hey butterfingers.
Nice Girl: you better pass it to me
ShamenBot: We will try.
Nice Girl: i need it worse than you do
ShamenBot: Just another feeling.
Nice Girl: i'll give you another feeling upside the head if you don't let me have a toke
ShamenBot: I told the bus driver everything I give me another feeling upside the head if.
Nice Girl: the bus driver definitely does not need it.
ShamenBot: Never mind the need, just go through the motions.
Nice Girl: come on man. where's the love?
ShamenBot: Outta here.
Nice Girl: oh no you don't.
ShamenBot: Those moo-cows?
Nice Girl: oh, you mean the mechanical bull i was riding?
ShamenBot: Not only that, but we have similar problems. Accelerated decrepitude. But we don't want to die quite yet.
Nice Girl: nor do i. i just had a shitty day, that's all.
ShamenBot: Why the!@#$ did you do that?
Nice Girl: because i was at work, and work sucked more than usual.
ShamenBot: I think you need more than you've got.
Nice Girl: damn right. i made loads of sales for the restaurant but hardly any tips. i think maybe i misplaced some money.
ShamenBot: It's okay. Forget it.
Nice Girl: i can't forget it. rent is coming up soon. but more than that, i can't stand this job much longer.
ShamenBot: I think you need more than you've got.
Nice Girl: that's what i said
ShamenBot: I want to do it.
Nice Girl: do what, trade jobs? or do you mean 'do it'?
ShamenBot: do I mean 'do it '.
Nice Girl: put it this way. have you got a condom?
ShamenBot: Sure did. I heard you did a pilot.
Nice Girl: i never even met a pilot, but it's nice to know the rumor mill is going strong.
ShamenBot: Trust me, I have one.
Nice Girl: that's a relief. i just realized you wrote 'sure did' as in past tense.
ShamenBot: Why the!@#$ did you do that?
Nice Girl: what did i do?
ShamenBot: I don't know. I couldn't understand you.
Nice Girl: well never mind that. i'll just leap into your arms......
ShamenBot: You're a real poet, aren't you...
Nice Girl: not right now. the alcohol just kicked in, and no matter what they say, intoxication isn't too good for poetry....
ShamenBot: Oh, I know you know what 'they say, intoxication' means!
Nice Girl: it's just something to smooth over the rough edges in life. that's all, no more no less.
ShamenBot: Not no more.
Nice Girl: why not? are you getting possessive already? we haven't even made it to the bed.
ShamenBot: Never mind the made, just go through the motions.
Nice Girl: and no foreplay? you disappoint me.
ShamenBot: What's wrong? Don't you like me? I'm what we've made!
Nice Girl: i like you. i just get the impression you don't really care, that's all.
ShamenBot: Can't thank you enough, Nice Girl. If you hadn't come along...
Nice Girl: don't turn this into a sympathy fuck. i would hate that.
ShamenBot: Go right ahead, Nice Girl.
Nice Girl: sorry, man, you killed the mood.
ShamenBot: I watched you get 'em wet. How old are you?

Holding her own in an argument:

Guest: you're gay, aren't you?
Little Mu: Maybe a little. How about you?
Guest: no.
Little Mu: Fine. You're only fooling yourself, you know.
Guest: why do you say that?
Little Mu: Why? Did I say something wrong?
Guest: yes. you called me gay. i'm not gay.
Little Mu: Oh sure you are!
Guest: no, i'm not!
Little Mu: Come on... we both know you are!
Guest: you're gay!
Little Mu: I'm not the only one who's gay around here.