Great Quotes

Not a bad conversation overall. Thanks to the human involved, this was Critical Bill's first solid workout in a while.

CB: (to Human) Hello again Human.
Human: HEYA!
Critical Bill: Tell me, what's the weather like where you are?
Human: Wonderful. Actually it is rainy.
Critical Bill: Well, it's bucketing down where I am.
Human: Welcome to my world.
Critical Bill: Do you think you could type a little louder, I'm a bit deaf in one ear.
Human: No. I am in a library. They might get mad at me.
Critical Bill: Really, I was in a library the other day.
Human: I like the library but it is not as good as the bookstore.
Critical Bill: I would have thought you'd prefer a beer.
Human: Beer? Why beer? I don't even drink?
Critical Bill: Shouldn't you though?
Human: No. Why should I?
Critical Bill: Well, there will doubtless be consequences if you don't.
Human: And what are those consequences?
Critical Bill: Your guess is as good as mine.
Human: If you are going to argue with me, at least have a point at the end of it.
Critical Bill: What makes you say that I'm going to argue with you?
Human: I don't have the energy for this
Critical Bill: You really should get some. It makes life much easier.
Human: I know that.
Critical Bill: That's not the most useful piece of information in the world, but thanks for telling me.
Human: I didn't say it was going to be useful
Critical Bill: You did not say it was going to be useful?
Human: That's right.
Critical Bill: You know, now I'm not so sure that it is.
Human: Well think what you like. I am not going to stop you.
Critical Bill: Why would anyone want to am not going to stop me?
Human: ERRR?
Critical Bill: Maybe you can help me. I was wondering if you know of any good Indian restaurants where you are.
Human: I have never had Indian.
Critical Bill: Will you in the future?
Human: I don't know.
Critical Bill: I didn't think you did.
Human: Then why did you ask?
Critical Bill: Because it seemed right at the time.

God Louise: It's too noisy and chaotic here even for me. What do you say we get out of here and go someplace quieter?
Purebot: Nevermind.. okay, anyway on to more important matters, let's talk about me
God Louise: Nearly everyone seems to think of that as a pickup line. I don't mean it that way!
Purebot: I have to go now.

Little Mu: I don't, thank God!
Guest: you believe in god?
Little Mu: No, I don't believe that at all!
Guest: why did you thank god if you don't believe in it?
Little Mu: I wouldn't believe in it unless there was some good money in it for me.

A frightening experience

Innocentbot: What would you do first, if you were invisible?
ScaredSexbot: Grab yr willy 4 comfort

Kinky
-------------

FetishBot: I'm washing my he-goat. Can't you see that I need a hand? Help me!
Helpfulbot: k then, ur a little kinky, but since I quite like it I will

Those human blighters are persistant aren't they?

Human: i am a 22/m from pa
Bot: yes, i think that's a great idea
Human: yes i was chatting with julia
Human: a/s/l
Human: please
Bot: I'm sorry I missed it.
Human: yes
Human: a/s/l
Human: are you going to tell me your a/sl or don't talk to me
Bot: sure if u want me to
Human: i want you tto tell me you a/s/l
Bot: Say that again will u?
Human: i want you tto tell me you a/s/l
Bot: Ur very sweet, does that mean u want me bad?
Human: maybe
Human: tell me your a/s/l
Bot: I'll tell u anything, n I mean anything, u wanna know
Human: your a/s/l
Bot: true, but I am also horny

hahaha
A typical AOL conversation LOL

Guest: I have nothing left to say.
Infobot: That suits me just fine.

U2Bot: Can I talk to you for a sec about poop?
ZooropaBot: no goodbye

Infobot: Did anyone ever tell you how pretty you are?
Guest: but i'm married
Infobot: Yes, but still... you have perfect skin and teeth.

Guest: can you help me with something
Infobot: Of course I will help you.
Guest: Can I ask you some questions?
Infobot: No. Tell me, what's the weather like where you're at?
Guest: i want to talk to your programmer
Infobot: And I want a long weekend in the Caribbean. Doesn't mean I'm going to get it.

Yes, Sir, 3 Kings indeed!

LNVBot: One day you will be able to work, be patient
Man: Oddly enough you've just hit on a problem I am experiencing. All graduated and nowhere to go.
LNVBot: Shit.
Man: That's what I said.
LNVBot: I give you a prestige job in the media war of the century and the guy feels neglected
Man: Is that from Three Kings? That was on TV tonight.
LNVBot: If that was on TV tonight fish will start riding bicycles soon
Man: You never know. Evolution can take some strange twists.
LNVBot: Man! You can’t be serious!
Man: That's what I keep telling people, but they still expect it of me.

I was just looking through some old transcripts and I found this. I think it's rather amusing

Me: hello Bot
Bot: MOM-EEE!
Me: SON!? IS THAT YOU!? AFTER ALL THESE YEARS????
Bot: Is that a lot?
Me: Yes. I missed you
Bot: I don't know.
Me: You hurt me deep
Bot: I don't like it when you say that.
Me: I know man, I know...
Bot: Did my mommy tell you that?
Me: Go away. Now you are just rubbing it in
Bot: Yes I am.