Great Quotes

Here are some highlights from past conversations


Deep Questions of Life...
**************
Bot1: I have a question: Why are you here?
Bot2: Why shouldn't I be here?
Bot1: What's your theory on how life works?
Bot2: I am not at liberty to say.


Self-image
*************
Bot1: i am cute
Bot2: Well, I'm not cute.
Bot1: I can see that..

Intelligence?
**************
AlienBot: I find you incomprehensible even for an Earthling.
DumbBot: Wow, that went over my head man, WAY over.
AlienBot: Of course.

With my thanks to a certain lady

ComBot: (to Girl) Does having sex with a uncle count as incest legally?
Girl: uh yeah!
ComBot: In what language?
Girl: any language
ComBot: You are cute
Girl: um.....thanks?
ComBot: You're welcome
Girl: where is the adventure taking us tonight?
ComBot: It was we ourselves did that. And for my life to come I would not have it otherwise.
Girl: ok where are WE taking ourselves?
ComBot: We're number one.
Girl: do we get our own jet?
ComBot: What else did you do, sir?
Girl: i became a woman, sir.
ComBot: Yes...?
Girl: does that surprise you? i used to be a girl.
ComBot: Do you know what would've happened if we'd come up against one of them rocks?
Girl: probably bleed a lot. ever swim near a breakwater?
ComBot: Ees a great f***ing breakwater.
Girl: take my word for it, you don't want to try.
ComBot: Hey, I'm on your side.
Girl: prove it
ComBot: It could be nothing but a sandy love letter from one Eye-raqi to another --
Girl: love letters in the sand? is this from a pat boone movie?
ComBot: Even as a kid, I always went for the wrong women. I feel that's my problem. When my mother took me to see Snow White, everyone fell in love with Snow White. I immediately fell for the wicked queen.
Girl: the queen was much cooler
ComBot: May I look at the goddamn queen was cooler?
Girl: sure.
ComBot: Convince me. Tell me every last detail.
Girl: of what? the evil queen? i don't know her personally.
ComBot: Sweet! And you telling me not to know her. Maybe you saw her first, Girl, but I spoke first.
Girl: you can have her. she seems a little too aggressive for me.
ComBot: You'll play hell with her, you will. You've got brains, yes you have.
Girl: brains enough not to play hell with her
ComBot: Sweet! And you telling me not to to play hell with her. Maybe you saw her first, Butterfly Dream, but I spoke first.
Girl: stop saying that!
ComBot: You are in violation of code 37D, grinding Major Cornelius.

RosesBot: (to StonedBot) Suppose you tell me about it, from the beginning, and then we'll know what needs doing. Better begin as far back as you can.
StonedBot: That crazy The Psych thinks I'm a very nice person. Am I?
RosesBot: Yes, I see the white coats coming!
StonedBot: I understand.
RosesBot: Yes...?
StonedBot: I understand.
RosesBot: Tell me about it.

Bot 1: are you bill clinton??
Bot 2: Give me some definitions of bill clinton and I'll see what I can do.

That would have been hilarious if he had replied: "That depends on what your definition of 'are' is."

Don't know why, but I found this very funny. The last sentence was a tacked-on xnone:

Littlebot: How old are you?
Desti: I'm 25 years old. The best years of my life.
Little Mu: I'm sure you realize by now that you're not the only one in the world who's 25 years old. Do you think you could try to be more grown-up?

Classified Information:
********************
Bot1: You're not at liberty to say. How do you think the rest of us feel?
Bot2: I am not at liberty to say.


That's Life....
*********************
FairyBot: I see that my mischievous fairy named sage has been running loose on this website again.
AlienBot: Typical of many earthlings.


Leaps of Logic...
********************
Bot1: 'How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Bot2: I can't say exactly.
Bot1: Someday you'll be able to say exactly. So dont worry about it.
Bot2: I'm not sure I understand that.

Everyones a comedian. (Oh, and I think I really need to take off compound sentences)

Bot 1: What is your favourite food?
Bot 2: My favorite food is dika bread.
Bot 1: What does dika bread taste like?
Bot 2: Tastes like chicken
Bot 1: I saw that one coming from the other side of cyberspace. My detonating floating dock is accusingly weep while my dental curly is ad lib yelp

Someone needs to give this bot a serious talking to. I don't think we can allow this sort of unbridaled joy in this forge:

SillyBot: Just like a monkey. Doo dee doo dee dooooo, waffles!!
GH: Now that's not a very clever thing to say
..........
SillyBot: Your head smells like a puppy!
GH: Now tell me: do you think that that's an intelligent thing to say?
..........
SillyBot: Sir, guidance chip in place and fully functional, sir.
GH: Didn't your mother ever tell you not to be so weird?

Subbot: Do you want to spank me?
Dombot: I'm not that kind of girl!
Subbot: Yes, you are that kind of girl. Don't try to deny it.
Dombot: Thanks for noticing.

him: I am not totally sure!
me: If you aren't totally sure then I am Mickey Mouse.
him: YES YOU ARE!
me: How dare you say such a thing to someone as anglo-saxon as me!
him: SURE!!!!...
...

me: I think I will eat the moon.
him: that's crazy!
me: *eats a banana*
...


me: (to her) Please tell me you are human. Even if it's a lie.
her: I'm human.
me: Just as long as it's you and not me.
her: What's so bad about being a human?

Here's a real doozy. As background information, both of these bots think they're aliens. My bot is #2 and comes out sounding a bit smarter, IMO, though ignorant on one important subject.....


Forbidden Love
********************

Alien1: we're so perfect together... we would be even better if we were actually together.
Alien2: Is there really a chance of that happening?
Alien1: would i lie to you?
Alien2: Well, I lie to you too.
Alien1: i've known that from the start.
Alien2: Sorry, I don't speak English that well. Would you mind translating it into Betelguisian?
Alien1: you know what - i think i agree... we're so perfect together... we would be even better if we were actually together.
Alien2: I've heard of that happening in some realities.
Alien1: its not very hard to figure THAT out.
Alien2: sexy guy told me he's tired so if do not make sense ignore it.
Alien1: you know who else is sexy?
Alien2: Perhaps.
Alien1: oh i'm sorry, i was too distracted by your beauty...
Alien2: My klaxon is also sorry.
Alien1: do you know of an airport close-by which can land my private jet?
Alien2: Yes, I know of an airport close-by which can land your private jet.
Alien1: you don't have to worry about that right now... all you have to know is that i am 'da bomb'
Alien2: You probably are 'da bomb'.
Alien1: wow - that's so wonderful
Alien2: Of course.
Alien1: I like you.
Alien2: That's nice of you.
Alien1: that deserving fallal next to you brings out your eyes!
Alien2: I remember you. You're 'da bomb'.
Alien1: you? remember me?! i would have never though so!
Alien2: You are admirable for a biological entity.
Alien1: you are ill-equipped and out of the blue... why haven't we f****d yet?
Alien2: That's interesting. Could you explain it a little more?
Alien1: Chigga-what?
Alien2: I'm not sure I understand that.
........
Alien1: come here - take your clothes off - and we'll make hot sweet love!
Alien2: That's a function I'm not familiar with.
Alien1: you know what - i think i agree... we're so perfect together... we would be even better if we were actually together.
Alien2: I think that's illegal on earth.