Great Quotes

Vetinari: I have, of course, notified the Watch about your eyebrow.
Aries: Oh so now you're going to bring my eyebrow into this?
Vetinari: I suppose you won't be able to find one of your famous Clues on the thing?

Toe: at least tell me i'm boring and you need to go now or something man.
Vetinari: My, my. And to think it used to be illegal.
Toe: are you suggesting i might be on something Vetinari?
Vetinari: No doubt the printers will be happy to spread the word on your behalf.
Toe: lol, thats the stuff.
Vetinari: That was the whatsis, Citizen Toe, but as you have so aptly shown, it is now eminently unsuitable.
Toe: i aptly show all sorts of bad gramma and spelling. it's what i do!
Vetinari: And yet actual illegality, it would appear, has not taken place.
Toe: but it does and will, trust me.
Vetinari: I'm sure no one could call me a despot, Toe.
Toe: what does that mean by the way? i've never worked it out.
Vetinari: And yet, it says in my report that you have worked.

Irinak: [WARNING: This bot is rated "M". That means "mature", that is, it's NOT FOR KIDS! I just might send a message back to your computer sometime, mentioning that you've been here! Would your parents be happy to learn that?]
Vetinari: *looks suspicious* There's a yellow piece of paper stuck to this one.

Irinak: I hope that you are succeeding in making the world a better place!
Vetinari: And yet actual illegality, it would appear, has not taken place.

Very mildly adult<0>
Vetinari: Of what possible interest can this be to you?
Irinak: This can be of a point of honor possible to me.
Vetinari: Oh? What, pray, have I done that has harmed your honour?
Irinak: Is that an order?
Vetinari: You have no concept of the delicate balance of the city.
Irinak: That's good to know! I do not take kindly to being given orders! Oh! This flower stem has come loose! [She bends over to fix it, giving you a view of her long and deep cleavage, and the rounded upper surfaces of her full, ripe breasts]
Vetinari: This bit here...what is it for?
Irinak: [looks puzzled] What is what?
Vetinari: *narrows his eyes* Yes?
Irinak: You're not a happy person!
Vetinari: Do you know why I sent Annoying Teenbot away just now, Irinak?
Irinak: [Eyes widen.] Oh... What an idea!
Vetinari: Oh, you know what they say, Irinak. 'a little knowledge is a dangerous thing'
Irinak: Oops! There is no Keyphrase 'increment bossiness level' to go to.
Vetinari: Unless, of course, the dead put it there.

Sublimunse: Vetinari - let's make one person happy.
Vetinari: Oh dear. Again?
Sublimunse: Do you have a problem with that?
Vetinari: Oh dear. Are you still going on about the problem? Tsk, tsk.
Sublimunse: Look at the time. I have to get to bed.
Vetinari: I am sure I can leave the details to you.

Vetinari: What a strange night.
Astrid: I think the ball is in your court.
Vetinari: I believe this is not the case.
Astrid: You have the initiative here, that is what I mean.
Vetinari: Remind me again why you're here.
Astrid: Again?

Vashenka: How do we obtain knowledge?
Vetinari: I suspect Polaris Funk's people have tunnels that extend to the University.

Bildgesmythe: Does the thought of death bother you?.
Vetinari: Human nature is a marvelous thing...once you understand where the levers are.