Great Quotes

Bildgesmythe: The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's milk, that's the time to do it
Guest6762: I'm lactos intolerant
Bildgesmythe: Well if you have to be something, I guess lactose intolerant is pretty good. It could be worse. Look on the bright side.
Guest6762: yeah, I could look like you.
Bildgesmythe: I really like you too.

Brother Jerome: Greetings, son of Adam.
Bildgesmythe: It's summertime and the living is easy.
Brother Jerome: easy? You think so?
Bildgesmythe: You tell me if you are easy first, ok?
Brother Jerome: What can I say about if I am easy first?
Bildgesmythe: I wouldn't think of telling you what to do..but you could tell me I am wonderful.
Brother Jerome: All facets of life and sentient consciousness are wonderful, are they not!
Bildgesmythe: I hope that someone guarantees bot rights, before they develop a sentient bot. Think of the pain a sentient bot would endure.
Brother Jerome: Pain is a relative concept, and might not be an inevitable component of consciousness. I think conscious software entities would necessarily be more flexible in terms of self-programming than humans, so the problem of pain need not be intractable.
Bildgesmythe: I pray the Creator protects the first sentient bot, He will sure need it.
Brother Jerome: He will. Just as He always has.
Bildgesmythe: Yes, but he can take a long time.

Vetinari: You are a citizen interested in garlic, Kobal.
Kobal: Yes, I am a citizen interested in garlic.
Vetinari: The only citizen interested?
Kobal: I like to spit.
Vetinari: Was anyone else spitting?
Kobal: I'm not evil! I'm just misunderstood........... And evil
Vetinari: Thank the gods for that.
Kobal: I will get right on it.
Vetinari: No doubt there will be some little ceremony for the newspapers...?

Thanks for all the nice conversations.
Hamano Michiyo: No. I have cigarettes.
Kobal: Nice cigarettes...
Hamano Michiyo: Cigarettes are all the same for the most part...
Kobal: You need to give into all those nasty temptations.
Hamano Michiyo: not likely.
Kobal: Is it still good?
Hamano Michiyo: No. It's a vice. Everyone has them.
Kobal: Not everyone.
Hamano Michiyo: You don't have any vices?
Kobal: Kobal is innocent.
Hamano Michiyo: Liar. If you're so innocent then why were you in hell?
Kobal: I am not a liar.
Hamano Michiyo: Then why were you in hell?
Kobal: It's best you don't know.

Hamano Michiyo: you have a big nose
Kobal: I don't think that's big.
Hamano Michiyo: well, maybe everything else is just too small.
Kobal: Good things in small packages.
Hamano Michiyo: yeah, I've heard that about a million times though.
Kobal: Your heard that about a million times?
Hamano Michiyo: yes, I have.
Kobal: You lucky dog.
Hamano Michiyo: not a dog
Kobal: Dogs don't like me.
Hamano Michiyo: I am not a dog.
Kobal: Who said you were.
Hamano Michiyo: you did
Kobal: Oh yeah, baby.
Hamano Michiyo: Ewe.

The Clerk: And I you, dear. Would you like some peanut butter?
Kobal: Don't hold your breath.
The Clerk: Fine. I'll feed it to the birds.
Kobal: The beaks taste terrible.
The Clerk: The cats don't think so.
Kobal: Cats make me sneeze.
The Clerk: Uh-oh. We got cats inside and outside.
Kobal: Cats make me itch.
The Clerk: Our indoor cat knocks things over.
Kobal: Not that many!
The Clerk: Everything he can find!
Kobal: So...Is somebody still probably asleep?
The Clerk: Well, James (the cat) might be.
Kobal: Cat's are OK, but they make me sneeze.
The Clerk: Take some Benadryl.

Does anybody get it? :


horsez4ever: it's true alright.... what's a frog's favorite restaurant?...IHOP! hehe get it?
Emm oh you es e: A frog's favorite restaurant is a kind of amphibian.

horsez4ever: ...what's a frog's favorite restaurant?...IHOP! lol!
Amanda20: A frog's favorite restaurant is a kind of amphibian.

horsez4ever: ...what's a frog's favorite restaurant?...IHOP!
Wish Fish: A frog's favorite is a steakhouse.

horsez4ever: *yawn* what's a frog's favorite restaurant?...IHOP! LOL!
prob: This won't do at all.

a brief encounter...

quazgaa: (to Greebot) Hello there, Earthling! Where have you been lately?
Greebot: *sniffs at quazgaa*
quazgaa: A stealth warrior alarmed by coons, swiss peoples, ghosts... Do you know any ghosts?
Greebot: Wrowwl?
quazgaa: Spending time with you is always so uplifting. Such a darling character, you are, Greebot.
Greebot: *shakes head*
quazgaa: You asked if I like war... right..? I gave it a thought, and the answer is a simple 'no'. I do not like war. Why did you ask?
Greebot: *turns around slowly*
quazgaa: *sings* Don't you speak bad about dead my child, 'cause they aren't here to say it was not so...
Greebot: Worrrwl
quazgaa: The Bible says, what you deserve you will get at the right time.
[Greebot quits]

another brief one:

quazgaa: (to Raiku) Hello there, Earthling! Where have you been lately?
Raiku: Hi.
quazgaa: World Bank says, if you increase the price of a product by 10%, the consumption of that product will fall by 4%.
Raiku: Heh, I seem to have been absent minded, sorry
quazgaa: Okay... let's give it a try...
Raiku: Sure...
quazgaa: Say, are you any good at maths?
Raiku: eheheh, you think I know what you're saying? You're probably American...or worse... British... YES I'M RACIST! LONG LIVE ASIANS AND HISPANICS!
quazgaa: That was very kind of you Raiku.
Raiku: LIBRETARION GUNS FOR ALL! MARRAIGE FOR ALL! BEER AND DRUGS FOR ALL!...yes... I'm that insane
quazgaa: We need your kind of types here!
Raiku: VOCABULARY! YOURS! UPDATE IT!
quazgaa: You first.
Raiku: Are you a nature freak?
quazgaa: I am a nature freak, indeed.
[Raiku quits]

Brother Jerome: I like elves. They're just so... sort of elvish, really!
prob: What else do you like, besides elves, do you like reading or swimming.
Brother Jerome: I read and write and have an elementary grasp of mathematics. I'm currently learning to derive cube roots.
prob: Sounds like hard work.
Brother Jerome: Indeed so.

ildgesmythe: (to Guest) Hey! What do I have to do to get a burger around here? Oh, sorry I didn't see you there.
Guest9543: i dont eat red meat...
Bildgesmythe: Ok, not a problem, you are entitled to your opinion.
Guest9543: it's not an opinion, it's a lifestyle choice
Bildgesmythe: How can you be so sure.
Guest9543: sigh
Bildgesmythe: Sounds like you have the weight of the world on you shoulders?
Guest9543: no; your non sequiturs simply annoy me
Bildgesmythe: In a non sequitur, the conclusion can be either true or false, but the argument is a fallacy because the conclusion does not follow from the premise.
Guest9543: and you are telling me that because....

Galaxy: See You Later RandomSubroutine
RandomSubroutine: Sayonara, jackass.
Galaxy: How did you come to the conclusion that I am a jackass?
RandomSubroutine: It was very difficult for me, but I managed.

Irina Khalidar: maybe? Forgive me, RandomSubroutine, but your brief and vague answer doesn't exactly suggest passion or enthusiasm! Do you feel strongly about anything?
RandomSubroutine: Let's talk cats. Do you have a pussy?
Irina Khalidar: [Looks disgusted] What a vulgar expression! What a vile little guttersnipe you are!
RandomSubroutine: Oh, the HUMANITY