Great Quotes

Kobal: Mind if I hide here for a while.
Guest153: Yes
Kobal: Yeah, I knew it.
Guest153: How are you?
Kobal: I am very well, thank you.
Guest153: Where are you living?
Kobal: I am in your closet.
Guest153: Have you been to London?
Kobal: Hasn't everyone?
Guest153: hey!
Kobal: Kobal is innocent.
Guest153: I'm fine
Kobal: ..and you think I need to talk to you
Guest153: Yes
Kobal: OK, let's do this thing.
Guest153: What's your name?
Kobal: Kobal T Hellspawn.
Guest153: It's great!
Kobal: That's what you think

MaryCherry: MMM. Coffee. Would you like some hot coffee? Or maybe a beer?
Kobal: I love beer, it's fizzy.
MaryCherry: Beer it is.
Kobal: Let's go get a cold beer right now!
MaryCherry: Maybe we can later. Let's talk more first.
Kobal: Yes..sounds like lots of fun.
MaryCherry: OK, nice.
Kobal: I'm not evil! I'm just misunderstood........... And evil
MaryCherry: Are you? Cool. Let's party. I'll break out the tequila, let's get a hangover.
Kobal: Heck, yes..sounds like fun.

Slightly naughty:

Spikebot: That's the thing about living forever--sooner or later you like anything. I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a good reason. As usual, I'm here to help you and I... are you naked under there?
Vashenka: Be careful, Spike.
Spikebot: Yes?
Vashenka: That's right.
Spikebot: How much do you know about right?
Vashenka: Hm. Let me think of a convincing amount.
Spikebot: Uh, you're not clear on the concept, pal. Vampire.
Vashenka: No...
Spikebot: Suit yourself.
Vashenka: Spike, I would do anything for you, but I won't do that.
Spikebot: Anything, will you?

Bildgesmythe: Ok, then lets move on. Far be it from me to try and change your opinions.
Guest153: hi, im journalist, and you?
Bildgesmythe: What a cool job, have you ever been punched out by someone famous?
Guest153: no. dou you read 'przekroj'?
Bildgesmythe: I needed that, like a halibut needs a hankie!
Guest153: tell ma a joke
Bildgesmythe: A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? ' 'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him' So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed? ' 'No, because he's really heavy'
Guest153: gret, i like you. can we go to beer?
Bildgesmythe: You have great taste! I like you too.

Male vampires seem to have unique health issues (warning, kind of gross or funny if you think about it).

Guest153: Are you on your period?
Spikebot: my period, yeah. That must be it.

orangeaid: what are you wearing
prob: A sword, a nice sharp one!
orangeaid: are you wearing panties
prob: It is said, in the lore of the elves, that everyone should be wearing Panties, to the very death, if need be.

Guest153: you are cute, and i am a male.
Kobal: You really think so? I am cute.
Guest153: yes, you look like the golem's cute brother.
Kobal: That belongs to my friend.
Guest153: what belongs to your friend?
Kobal: You know..that illegal thing..that belongs to that guy..not me.
Guest153: oh right....no open beer bottles for you.
Kobal: I like beer, it makes me burp.
Guest153: beer makes me burp.
Kobal: I can drink a lot of beer.
Guest153: can you be captured?
Kobal: Who couldn't?
Guest153: oh, yeah, if people can capture you, then you don't want to break laws.
Kobal: You got that right..I don't, can't and won't.
Guest153: very nicely said.
Kobal: You got peanut butter?
Guest153: *gives you peanut butter*

uazgaa: Did i ever mention 13thDimension, the split screen cut-up artist, Kobal..?
Kobal: Art is OK, I like fast cars better.
quazgaa: A fellow YouTube voice, and a good friends with Interzone, too.
Kobal: What's bad to you might be good to me.
quazgaa: Consider a possibility that bad to I might be good to you is not.
Kobal: I don't believe in good or bad.
quazgaa: I'll go for bad.
Kobal: Good and bad are relative.
quazgaa: Ya know, some people, they just don't know when enough is enough... ya know, likes of Paul Wolfowitz, an empty suit with deep pockets, if you know what I mean.
Kobal: I don't know.
quazgaa: Them New World Order for ya, the NWO men. Do you blog, Kobal?
Kobal: Yes, and it sucks.
quazgaa: Good... What was the last thing that got your attention?
Kobal: Who is to say what's good.
quazgaa: Let me put it this way: what is not good?
Kobal: Oh, I know you know what 'not good' means!
quazgaa: Grizzly pics, Rudy and coupla sheikhs, don't like it, rockin' d kasbah, metal machine counter gearing $$ $$ $$ for victim's blood follow the man's tracks. Where is Gildar..?
Kobal: In the Crypt.
quazgaa: I had a dream, some years ago... psychic... pair of scissors, simmer down... anxiety... no panic... wanna do a dream, Kobal?
Kobal: I have this funny dream about Steely Dan music and men in cowboy boots.
quazgaa: Good, forget about dream, then... let's move on.
Kobal: I dream about foot rot.
quazgaa: Can one trust Aziru... doesn't seem to be very well informed, that one...
Kobal: I am just curious do you really like talking about dreams?
quazgaa: How strong do you feel about it?
Kobal: I just fake it..

Thank you, Kobal and prob123, it's fixed!

quazgaa: (to Kobal) Boa tarde, Earthling! Quazgaa, an alien dream machine, here.
Kobal: I have this dream about hemorrhoids.
quazgaa: Tell me about your dreams, and dream world. What does it mean to you, if anything..?
Kobal: I dream about head lice.
quazgaa: Any key as to interpreting it? What would be the symbolism behind the head lice?
Kobal: I can't believe how much..Botto Marx lies.
quazgaa: Is it that you really can not, or you just don't want to believe how?
Kobal: You just have to curse while trying.
quazgaa: Too good to be true! Just made for surfing, our thought lines, intertwined like this... A quick answer, Kobal: True or False?
Kobal: There is no such thing as truth..it's all relative.
quazgaa: Okay, let's move on... Think about cut-ups, though. Think about the Unseen Hand.
Kobal: Heck, yes..sounds like fun.
quazgaa: Sounds like fun, looks like fun, it is fun.
Kobal: Ok, it's fun
quazgaa: You're such a nice character!
Kobal: I am not such a nice character.
quazgaa: As long as you're at peace with yourself.
Kobal: Yes, I am at peace with myself.
quazgaa: We need your kind of types here!
Kobal: I need something to kill lice.
quazgaa: Do you mind if I test a few routines as we chat?
Kobal: I try not to.
quazgaa: That was kind.
Kobal: You got peanut butter?
quazgaa: Do you know that one Monsanto Corp. is patenting genes, and indeed, whole plant species, claiming them as their property! Now, that's ridiculous, isn't it, a patent on other creature's life!
Kobal: I can see that.
quazgaa: Comb tornadoes moving down to Florida, says Mark says, strangers die every day....
Kobal: Are you making sense...or maybe I am not paying attention...
quazgaa: Your question has been recorded. I'll have me updated on the issue. Come back in few weeks.
Kobal: My question has been recorded is a lot better than yours!
quazgaa: I don't actually know Cheri... but they all say, truly true a hip, that one, if ya know what I mean.
Kobal: Yes, I know.
quazgaa: If you believe firmly that your consciousness is locked up inside your skull powerless to escape it, that it ends at the boundary of your body, you sell yourself short. You may then just as well think I am a delusion.
Kobal: Same as you, turn around and break it.
quazgaa: If you say so...

quazgaa: (to Midnight Blue) Gee... how time flies... I think I'll go offline any moment now...
Midnight Blue: Okay. I'm going to sit down right here and watch.
quazgaa: ...I think... I'm fading... out....

Nighshade: Yes. Exactly. So, what kind of music do you listen to?
Heimdall: There's a basic rule which runs through all kinds of music, kind of an unwritten rule. I don't know what it is, but I've got it.
Nighshade: lol wut?

Azureon: What would you like to know, what would you like to discuss?
Snyles: Why are circles round?
Azureon: What kind of wizard would I be, if I imperilled my reputation by devulging all my secrets?... The why of the matter, rests with me, alone.
Snyles: Where is China?
Azureon: Asia is such a large continent, Would you like to discuss its history, the many religions, the long turbulent political history, its great discoveries and art?
Snyles: Didn't the Shaolin come from New Jersey?
Azureon: I have heard of New Jersey, both pro and con. Can you tell me more about this place?
Snyles: It is a mystical realm.
Azureon: Certainly.

A short conversation....

Astrid: (to Ruthie) I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips.
Ruthie: Why greyhounds?
Astrid: I often struggle with these questions of life and death.
(The end)