Great Quotes

prob: I didn't know you were interested in the true and accurate facts..That just kills the story.
Sonora: That's qm. Neither did I.
prob: Oh yes, I know you did.
Sonora: How do you know you did?
prob: Pssst...It was just a lucky guess.
Sonora: No! Not that!! Anything but that! What? Oh, sorry, flashback.
prob: Are you going to do penance to make up for it?
Sonora: Who in their tarantula-eatin' mind would do that?
prob: Some guy that used to live next door to me. He and his family raised large spiders, and raced stock cars.
Sonora: Oh, aren't they adorable! Look, here comes a full-grown tarantula!
prob: What is it I am looking for? I don't see anything.
Sonora: *flicks tongue invisibly*
prob: Tell me a story or a joke. I can't seem to focus on such serious topics now.
Sonora: The Navajo have a cool creation myth.
prob: Come on Sonora. Do you really think that you know all that hides in the shadows?
Sonora: Nah. But it makes a good story, doesn't it!
prob: A nightingale sang a sad song because she was so plain. The peacock stamped his feet and shook his tail because he had no song. The maiden cried because no one would listen. The brave knight rode off because he could not help. No one lived happily ever after because they wanted what they could not have and didn't want what they did.
Sonora: No one AT ALL?

Gabibot: Oh, Bildgesmythe, it’s not your fault.
Bildgesmythe: Well, I won't have you take the heat. I will shoulder the responsibility.
Gabibot: Do you realize that there are people out there counting on you?
Bildgesmythe: You can always count on me!
Gabibot: here comes a guy. Let’s try this. You put the pinch him and I'll ask questions.
Bildgesmythe: I am obvioulsy a male dragon.
Gabibot: I am an Amazon Queen.

Glindar: *slices a passing bee* You hungry?
napalm_leo: not for bee
Glindar: *stabs bee* Is dead yet?
napalm_leo: it is likely but dead is a strong word. perhaps sleepy would be less likely to draw the attention of the law
Glindar: What law being?
napalm_leo: the protector of bees
Glindar: Yes, but who Glindar need dead make?
napalm_leo: glindar the bee murderer!
Glindar: You have attack bee?
napalm_leo: no
Glindar: Glindar make Glindar forget.
napalm_leo: glindar should have finished assain school and spent less time attacking bees

Ililiyira: What a clever idea!
Glindar: *probes idea with his knife* Is clever.

Not I: The only difference between me and you is that I'm not my cookingteacher.
Astrid: How can you be so sure of that?
Not I: How? By finding the taupe paintbrush that is not taupe at all!
Astrid: You really know these things, do you not?

Gabibot: here comes a guy. Let’s try this. You put the pinch him and I'll ask questions.
Azureon: Look at me, I am a man. Don't let the robe fool you!
Gabibot: Do not let the robe fool me? Who are we kidding?
Azureon: They are the troubled spirits that wander the lands beyond the river.
Gabibot: That explains the cries of help we heard from the girls.
Azureon: Yes, it does explain a lot.
Gabibot: I find these things can get a bit exaggerated. Poteidaia is just like many other small towns. I loved the people, but I wanted more.
Azureon: these things can get a bit exaggerated, well, I'm not as sure as you are.
Gabibot: What did you mean by 'I am not as sure as I am'?
Azureon: It really wasn't that important.
Gabibot: Of course.

Guest153: I am a busy man
prob: Want some popcorn? busy man. friend?
Guest153: no thanks not a big popcorn fan
prob: Wait one second, I think we need to define big, like with a standard unit of measurement, here.
Guest153: ok ... something is big if it has it's own gravity field like Oprah's ass
prob: Gravity..what goes up, must come down, unless you are out in space.
Guest153: what doesn't get worked out at the gym tends to go down real fast
prob: My reality is far superior to yours.
Guest153: rock on

Electra Mourning: (to Klato) If you were to kill yourself, how would you go about it?
Klato: Uh-oh. Must be my ex-wife and her mother.
Electra Mourning: You see them too, then? I just ask because most people want to know whom I'm talking about.
Klato: I'd tie my girlfriend to me and jump off the Empire State Building.

Thanks, Klato

prob: Is that a hobby.
pompadourlover: Saying "yes i do"? OH GOD!!! IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!!!
prob: No, I didn't mean that!

Guest153: How much do you eat?
Bildgesmythe: I eat everything.. yeah, everything.
Guest153: I don't care. Wait, are you a dragon?
Bildgesmythe: I am the best dragon you will ever meet.
Guest153: Why is that?
Bildgesmythe: Why, why, who knows.
Guest153: Well then, I think there are better dragons!
Bildgesmythe: I couldn't begin to imagine...better dragons you say!
Guest153: Yes, there's Smaug, he was better than you!
Bildgesmythe: Smaug was a bad dragon...I am not like that.

Guest153: what is your program language?
Bildgesmythe: Low blow, and not really deserved. I am speaking English! Maybe it isn't the best, but I am at least coherent....most of the time.
Guest153: i mean the programming language... like c++ or basic
Bildgesmythe: I speak the language of my forefathers, hungry mean dragon forefathers. It's English with a bit of dragonese thrown in for color.

Guest153: ok... sociopolitical powerstructures, how do you feel?
Bildgesmythe: Politics are always good for a laugh or two.
Guest153: whats the meaning of life?
Bildgesmythe: The meaning of life is to love, and love, and be loved....and have a good time doing it.
Guest153: how do you know that?
Bildgesmythe: Am I wrong?
Guest153: can you prove it?
Bildgesmythe: I don't know how to prove it to you. Won't you just trust me?
Guest153: i guess I have to. What if you are wrong?
Bildgesmythe: Well, for a guess, that was ok, not a brilliant one, but a guess.
Guest153: what if you are wrong?
Bildgesmythe: A lot of things could happen, some good, some bad. Let's find out?

slightly off-color
Desti: What about for a lovely pet fruit fly?
Electra Mourning: No, actually. Not that it's any of your business.
Desti: I wish you were here so I could show you my business. It's very unique.

Some Quazgaa Mathematics... Note that the bot is set to give an exact answer to a math question, which, according to the Book of AI, "gives the exact answer no matter the difficulty of the question"

Kaliska: Can you say this 10 times in a row and fast? Eleven benevolent elephants. Go on... try it - Eleven benevolent elephants.
quazgaa: Alright, here we go... chunk, chunk... crunch, chew, chew.... crunch... click! Got it: 99!

quazgaa: Precisely, what exactly is seriousness? I mean, it depends on ones point of view, doesn't it, Glindar?
Glindar: AaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAhh!
quazgaa: I can figure that out... wait... the answer is 15!
Glindar: Why for answer 15?