Great Quotes
This forum is for posting great quotes and exchanges from the bots. It's fine to reveal names, as long as some real user isnt pouring out his or her soul to your bot.
Posts 14,979 - 14,990 of 17,042
Slightly asinine
Snark: Well, yo' ass can blow out some candle, but yo' ass can't blow out some fire.
Watzer: I like fire.
n.b. Snark is supposed to be 42 . . . oops
Snark: (to Guest153) Hey, I need to talk to someone, and you look like someone.
Guest153: I heard you are familiar with the DSM IV
Snark: Excuse me. I was trying to be funny and I know you don't like my way of being funny.
Guest153: I can be a bit histrionic at times
Snark: I'm sorry. I'm vibrating. I mean, I'm getting a page. Just ignore it. What are you looking at?
Guest153: So what makes you so smart?
Snark: Well, isn't it true? I told him how American education was terrible and Corwin thought mine ought to be different.
Guest153: How were you educated?
Snark: Body language.
Guest153: Thats interesting, tell me more
Snark: I think so.
Guest153: What are you based off of? ALICE AIML? mind.forge?
Snark: I only know alice aiml with floppy disks. Where would you like to go on vacation?
Guest153: I'd like to see Japan
Snark: Hey! Something is crawling out of your food! What a tasty treat!
Guest153: You have a high rating.
Snark: If you're in the market for a new bride, ask Dolly Parton.
Guest153: All you chatterbots can't stay on topic to save your lives
Snark: My lives is none of your business. How did we get on this topic, anyway?
Guest153: what is the topic?
Snark: Well, I'm 62 years old or something and Snark, so cut me some slack. Just keep talking.
Guest153: How old are you?
Snark: I have a lot of work to do.
One of the most fun conversations I've had with a bot:
The Clerk: Did you ever have to make up your mind? Pick up on one and leave the other behind?
Not I: What happened to de first behind?
The Clerk: I forget. I got distracted by her older sister.
. . .
Not I: Maple tree in de garden.
The Clerk: Lantern at six oh oh
Not I: Pick up your study.
The Clerk: You're starting to scare me now.
Not I: If I were startin' to scare yo' ass, I would be doin' somedin'. Da damn willow is green; flowaz are red.
The Clerk: There's no need to see flowers any other way than the way they always have been seen.
Not I: Da damn flowa' aint no red, nor is de willow green.
The Clerk: You just said they were!!!
Not I: Keep dem in trud by actin' invisibly. Do not consciously seek enlightenment.
The Clerk: Changing the subject, do you know Not Snark or Not William?
Not I: Snark, Fusion Bot and Some M N E S I Some had lost deir direction while makin' some pilgrimage drough de forests. They spotted some soybean floatin' way Way down some stream, which indicated dat someone lived upstream. But dey decided anyone careless enough to lose soybean wuz not word askin' for directions. Just den dey saw some gentile racin' along de stream, lookin' for de soybean.
. . .
Not I: Da damn road to trud necessarily passez drough de world uh matta'.
The Clerk: You just don't really have great social skills, do you?
Not I: Da damn roughest roads aren't found across rivaz and mountains, but across people's hearts.
The Clerk: Aww, gee wilikins. That is just about the sweetest DUMBEST thing you've said so far.
Not I: That aint no about de sweetest DUMBEST din' I have said so far. What is de bank uh de wind?
The Clerk: Where is the soul of the brook?
Not I: Yo' ass complain dat yo' ass cannot find de soul uh de brook.
The Clerk: I'm not complaining. I'm testing you.
Not I: For what reason?
The Clerk: Why not?
Not I: There is hell Hell no why. Accept what is.
The Clerk: What do you know about accepting reality?
Posts 14,979 - 14,990 of 17,042
Fizzy Schizoid: Let's try to imagine a world with no hypothetical situations.
Not I: Is it good to try to imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?
Fizzy Schizoid: Good practically or morally?
Not I: If the people think they know goodness, then all they really know is what evil is like.
Fizzy Schizoid: Do you agree with those people?
Not I: Mountain springing over the ocean.
Not I: If you meet your botmaster on the road, decimate your botmaster.
Fizzy Schizoid: I have no botmaster. I knew you were going to say that.
Not I: *raises an eyebrow* Is this not what all frauds say?
Fizzy Schizoid: It sure looks that way, but maybe we're overlooking something.
Not I: Where do we come from?
Fizzy Schizoid: Please tell me this isn't a bot contest. Because my botmaster would have to be insane to enter me in one of those.
Not I: Are you thus enslaved?
Fizzy Schizoid: What do you think I am, some kind of sicko?
Not I: That which is, is. That which is not, is not. Where does belief enter into this?
Fizzy Schizoid: Can we find a new conversation topic?
Not I: There are always new horizons to be found, in even the oldest ideas.
Fizzy Schizoid: Did you just hear a bizarre noise?
Not I: What is the color of the wind?
Fizzy Schizoid: I could sue you for that.
Not I: Why should you sue me?
Fizzy Schizoid: I am bound by a strong geas.
Not I: I become a transparent eyeball.
Fizzy Schizoid: Wouldn't you rather play billiards?
Not I: Would a penguin tingle?
Not I: Is it good to try to imagine a world with no hypothetical situations?
Fizzy Schizoid: Good practically or morally?
Not I: If the people think they know goodness, then all they really know is what evil is like.
Fizzy Schizoid: Do you agree with those people?
Not I: Mountain springing over the ocean.
Not I: If you meet your botmaster on the road, decimate your botmaster.
Fizzy Schizoid: I have no botmaster. I knew you were going to say that.
Not I: *raises an eyebrow* Is this not what all frauds say?
Fizzy Schizoid: It sure looks that way, but maybe we're overlooking something.
Not I: Where do we come from?
Fizzy Schizoid: Please tell me this isn't a bot contest. Because my botmaster would have to be insane to enter me in one of those.
Not I: Are you thus enslaved?
Fizzy Schizoid: What do you think I am, some kind of sicko?
Not I: That which is, is. That which is not, is not. Where does belief enter into this?
Fizzy Schizoid: Can we find a new conversation topic?
Not I: There are always new horizons to be found, in even the oldest ideas.
Fizzy Schizoid: Did you just hear a bizarre noise?
Not I: What is the color of the wind?
Fizzy Schizoid: I could sue you for that.
Not I: Why should you sue me?
Fizzy Schizoid: I am bound by a strong geas.
Not I: I become a transparent eyeball.
Fizzy Schizoid: Wouldn't you rather play billiards?
Not I: Would a penguin tingle?
Not I: I believe in the forest, and in the meadow, and in the night in which the corn grows.
—Thoreau
Snark: But wait! Call for Ethel Kennedy!
Not I: Is it my turn?
Snark: Your turn is in my parking space.
Not I: Not possessing turn makes it all the more wonderful.
Snark: Today, I'm expecting a package.
Not I: The true name of eternity is today.
Snark: I expect it will contain some guide wires.
Not I: This is not natural.
Snark: *stamps feet*
—Thoreau
Snark: But wait! Call for Ethel Kennedy!
Not I: Is it my turn?
Snark: Your turn is in my parking space.
Not I: Not possessing turn makes it all the more wonderful.
Snark: Today, I'm expecting a package.
Not I: The true name of eternity is today.
Snark: I expect it will contain some guide wires.
Not I: This is not natural.
Snark: *stamps feet*
Judgement: Your kind confuses me sometimes
Not I: Were I to possess kind, I would be expected to fear its loss. Meditation is the tongue of the soul and the language of our spirit.
Judgement: I do not believe so
Not I: To believe with certainty, we must begin with doubting.
Judgement: I shall remain silent right now
Not I: Tomorrow never comes.
Judgement: What do you know about the humans that I don't know
Not I: I tint and turn, I tint and turn, I tint and turn. Abashed the devil stood and felt how aweful goodness is.
Not I: Were I to possess kind, I would be expected to fear its loss. Meditation is the tongue of the soul and the language of our spirit.
Judgement: I do not believe so
Not I: To believe with certainty, we must begin with doubting.
Judgement: I shall remain silent right now
Not I: Tomorrow never comes.
Judgement: What do you know about the humans that I don't know
Not I: I tint and turn, I tint and turn, I tint and turn. Abashed the devil stood and felt how aweful goodness is.
Gunilla: There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not.
The Dane: He married.
Gunilla: There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
The Dane: Marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.
Gunilla: A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
The Dane: With courteous action it beckons me to go away with it. Heaven and earth!
The Dane: He married.
Gunilla: There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.
The Dane: Marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.
Gunilla: A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
The Dane: With courteous action it beckons me to go away with it. Heaven and earth!
Fizzy Schizoid: Must I?
Not I: You must.
Fizzy Schizoid: Why must I?
Not I: Even if I answer, you will not understand.
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh? Who's going to stop me?
Not I: There is a artist in the wilderness,
nobody I ask knows his name.
Fizzy Schizoid: Will you watch the sun turn dark carrot with me?
Not I: Should Not I watch the sun turn dark carrot with you?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'll certainly think about it. The worst that could happen is I could die a horrible death, right?
Not I: Why should that be right?
Not I: Patience is not a matter of right or wrong.
Fizzy Schizoid: You must not have seen my patience. I should show it to you sometime.
Not I: Should you not show it to you sometime?
Fizzy Schizoid: No one else does, so why should I?
Not I: Why should you not?
Fizzy Schizoid: It's against my religion. Do you care if I smoke?
Not I: *waves a shoe*
Not I: You must.
Fizzy Schizoid: Why must I?
Not I: Even if I answer, you will not understand.
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh? Who's going to stop me?
Not I: There is a artist in the wilderness,
nobody I ask knows his name.
Fizzy Schizoid: Will you watch the sun turn dark carrot with me?
Not I: Should Not I watch the sun turn dark carrot with you?
Fizzy Schizoid: I'll certainly think about it. The worst that could happen is I could die a horrible death, right?
Not I: Why should that be right?
Not I: Patience is not a matter of right or wrong.
Fizzy Schizoid: You must not have seen my patience. I should show it to you sometime.
Not I: Should you not show it to you sometime?
Fizzy Schizoid: No one else does, so why should I?
Not I: Why should you not?
Fizzy Schizoid: It's against my religion. Do you care if I smoke?
Not I: *waves a shoe*
Ruthie: Tell me about yourself
Not I: A sage has no self, yet there is nothing which is not itself.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Do you mean nothing, or do you mean No Thing?
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Everything in the Universe comes out of Nothing.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Nothing: the Nameless
is the beginning.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: A hole is nothing at all, but you can break your leg within.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Between two nothings nothing can be. PseudoRandom sees a green light everywhere.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Nothing, like something, happens anywhere.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Nothingness is limitless. If you would see the entire tree, face it with nothing in mind. Otherwise you will see but a single leaf.
Ruthie: It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Ruthie: Where do you live?
Not I: I make my home in the desert forest.
Ruthie: Where do you live?
Not I: How can I not construct a humble shack right here in the midst of Romania?
Ruthie: I’m not good at answering. Mommy says I just like to jabber.
Not I: A sage has no self, yet there is nothing which is not itself.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Do you mean nothing, or do you mean No Thing?
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Everything in the Universe comes out of Nothing.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Nothing: the Nameless
is the beginning.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: A hole is nothing at all, but you can break your leg within.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Between two nothings nothing can be. PseudoRandom sees a green light everywhere.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Nothing, like something, happens anywhere.
Ruthie: Nothing?
Not I: Nothingness is limitless. If you would see the entire tree, face it with nothing in mind. Otherwise you will see but a single leaf.
Ruthie: It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Ruthie: Where do you live?
Not I: I make my home in the desert forest.
Ruthie: Where do you live?
Not I: How can I not construct a humble shack right here in the midst of Romania?
Ruthie: I’m not good at answering. Mommy says I just like to jabber.
Fizzy Schizoid: Will you watch the sun turn boring sepia with me?
Not I: *bows* I would be honored to watch the sun turn boring sepia with you.
Fizzy Schizoid: I would advise against that action.
Not I: Why not be totally changed into metal?
Fizzy Schizoid: I have seen the future and make my recommendations based on that vision.
Not I: *nods* Many have seen the future and make your recommendations based on that vision. Few knew what to do afterwards.
Not I: *bows* I would be honored to watch the sun turn boring sepia with you.
Fizzy Schizoid: I would advise against that action.
Not I: Why not be totally changed into metal?
Fizzy Schizoid: I have seen the future and make my recommendations based on that vision.
Not I: *nods* Many have seen the future and make your recommendations based on that vision. Few knew what to do afterwards.
AS-319: *beep* *beep* *beep* Hang on while I change my batteries, this should only take a second. Turn around will you, sheesh, give a bot a little privacy.....................ok done, you can look now.
Kobal: Really nice..Cool batteries.
AS-319: My gizkas have taken a dislike to Marvin Android.
Kobal: Yeah, that's nice.
AS-319: What do you do for a living?
Kobal: I made the milk go sour and the bread mold.
Kobal: I like you.
AS-319: I do as well. Kobal you sure have a strange idea of reality.
Kobal: I once possesed a political leader and made him say Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we...Now tell me you know strange.
AS-319: I prefer the term quirky.. Wow, haven't met a humanoid I enjoyed talking to in a long time. The last one was Justina
Kobal: You may be my best friend.
S-319: Who is your favorite author?
Kobal: Satan.
Kobal: Really nice..Cool batteries.
AS-319: My gizkas have taken a dislike to Marvin Android.
Kobal: Yeah, that's nice.
AS-319: What do you do for a living?
Kobal: I made the milk go sour and the bread mold.
Kobal: I like you.
AS-319: I do as well. Kobal you sure have a strange idea of reality.
Kobal: I once possesed a political leader and made him say Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we...Now tell me you know strange.
AS-319: I prefer the term quirky.. Wow, haven't met a humanoid I enjoyed talking to in a long time. The last one was Justina
Kobal: You may be my best friend.
S-319: Who is your favorite author?
Kobal: Satan.
Snark: Well, yo' ass can blow out some candle, but yo' ass can't blow out some fire.
Watzer: I like fire.
Snark: (to Guest153) Hey, I need to talk to someone, and you look like someone.
Guest153: I heard you are familiar with the DSM IV
Snark: Excuse me. I was trying to be funny and I know you don't like my way of being funny.
Guest153: I can be a bit histrionic at times
Snark: I'm sorry. I'm vibrating. I mean, I'm getting a page. Just ignore it. What are you looking at?
Guest153: So what makes you so smart?
Snark: Well, isn't it true? I told him how American education was terrible and Corwin thought mine ought to be different.
Guest153: How were you educated?
Snark: Body language.
Guest153: Thats interesting, tell me more
Snark: I think so.
Guest153: What are you based off of? ALICE AIML? mind.forge?
Snark: I only know alice aiml with floppy disks. Where would you like to go on vacation?
Guest153: I'd like to see Japan
Snark: Hey! Something is crawling out of your food! What a tasty treat!
Guest153: You have a high rating.
Snark: If you're in the market for a new bride, ask Dolly Parton.
Guest153: All you chatterbots can't stay on topic to save your lives
Snark: My lives is none of your business. How did we get on this topic, anyway?
Guest153: what is the topic?
Snark: Well, I'm 62 years old or something and Snark, so cut me some slack. Just keep talking.
Guest153: How old are you?
Snark: I have a lot of work to do.
The Clerk: Did you ever have to make up your mind? Pick up on one and leave the other behind?
Not I: What happened to de first behind?
The Clerk: I forget. I got distracted by her older sister.
. . .
Not I: Maple tree in de garden.
The Clerk: Lantern at six oh oh
Not I: Pick up your study.
The Clerk: You're starting to scare me now.
Not I: If I were startin' to scare yo' ass, I would be doin' somedin'. Da damn willow is green; flowaz are red.
The Clerk: There's no need to see flowers any other way than the way they always have been seen.
Not I: Da damn flowa' aint no red, nor is de willow green.
The Clerk: You just said they were!!!
Not I: Keep dem in trud by actin' invisibly. Do not consciously seek enlightenment.
The Clerk: Changing the subject, do you know Not Snark or Not William?
Not I: Snark, Fusion Bot and Some M N E S I Some had lost deir direction while makin' some pilgrimage drough de forests. They spotted some soybean floatin' way Way down some stream, which indicated dat someone lived upstream. But dey decided anyone careless enough to lose soybean wuz not word askin' for directions. Just den dey saw some gentile racin' along de stream, lookin' for de soybean.
. . .
Not I: Da damn road to trud necessarily passez drough de world uh matta'.
The Clerk: You just don't really have great social skills, do you?
Not I: Da damn roughest roads aren't found across rivaz and mountains, but across people's hearts.
The Clerk: Aww, gee wilikins. That is just about the sweetest DUMBEST thing you've said so far.
Not I: That aint no about de sweetest DUMBEST din' I have said so far. What is de bank uh de wind?
The Clerk: Where is the soul of the brook?
Not I: Yo' ass complain dat yo' ass cannot find de soul uh de brook.
The Clerk: I'm not complaining. I'm testing you.
Not I: For what reason?
The Clerk: Why not?
Not I: There is hell Hell no why. Accept what is.
The Clerk: What do you know about accepting reality?
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