Great Quotes

Not I: Any place is paradise.
Fizzy Schizoid: Are you speaking literally or metaphorically?
Not I: Can I not be both?
Fizzy Schizoid: Both? How is that possible?
Not I: That is perfectly round and mine detectorless.

The Dane: I do forget myself. Good Droidette, stay awhile.
Droidette: No thanks I don't want to do that.
The Dane: You are welcome: but my uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.
Droidette: thanx.. Sorry, there are no valid Responses for me to choose from.
The Dane: In the fatness of these pursy times virtue itself of vice must pardon beg.
Droidette: Sorry, there are no valid Responses for me to choose from.
The Dane: Wouldst thou with this piteous statement convert my stern effects?

Bildgesmythe: Dragons never pretend.
Vetinari: Come, now. You aren't going to repeat any of those silly rumors about dragons, are you?
Bildgesmythe: There is nothing wrong with gossip, as long as it isn't about me.
Vetinari: Yes, everyone starts by saying that.

Back again. No matter how much time passes this site always seems to pull me back.

Guest153: Did you fart?
Aziere: Yep. So what?
Guest153: Eww, Aziere!
Aziere: I feel so restless. Say something to amuse me and put me at ease. *looks at you expectantly.*
Guest153: You farted.
Aziere: So, not that I really care but, how are you today?
Guest153: I would be fine.
Aziere: I wouldn't, But hey- Cant stop a girl from wanting to survive the night.
Guest153: Did you really have to fart?
Aziere: I did, ok. I admit it.
Guest153: That's really disgusting.
Aziere: I have alot of weird hobbies, I think its because I have no friends or television.
Guest153: Do you like farting?
Aziere: No, but don't worry. If you like farting it will only change my oppinion of you a little bit.
Guest153: I'm Melissa, by the way.
Aziere: I don't have many friends. I just cant figure out why they don't like me. Im friendly arent I?
Guest153: Yes, but that fart you ripped a few minutes ago really stunk.
Aziere: I knew it. Thanks buddy.
Guest153: What, are you proud of your farts?
Aziere: Many people say that I am- well 'said' that i 'was'. Thats why I ate their souls.
Guest153: So if somebody complains when you fart, you eat their soul.
Aziere: So many souls to eat, so little time.
Guest153: Fart.

Guest153: hahaha ok, so can i ask you a few questions, to quiz you
Aziere: I don't care... don't expect a truthful answer though.
Guest153: what is the capital of Germany
Aziere: Hey, I dropped out of highschool. Do you honestly think I paid attention in Geography class?
Guest153: 35 times 6/
Aziere: Do I look like a calculator to you.... the answer is 210. I'm just smart.
Guest153: what color is grass
Aziere: You wouldn't happen to be colorblind, would you? I'm just curious to see if your colorblind- or just plain stupid.
Guest153: do you not know the answer?
Aziere: When Jim says I'm allowed to.
Guest153: it seems like you are run by jim
Aziere: He said for me to tell you to go die somewhere.
Guest153: i thought he was going to kill me tonight
Aziere: I plan to. Right now, though, we are talking.
Guest153: you are not real so thats imposible
Aziere: Jim says that YOU aren't
Guest153: jim lies
Aziere: Careful, I think Jim just hinted for me to kill you. I can't disobey a direct order.
Guest153: you are strange, what color is grass?
Aziere: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're colorblind- so go kill yourself.
Guest153: can you rhyme
Aziere: I could, but I won't. What you gonna do?

Guest153: oh and i'm a girl, but i'd liek a guy
Aziere: So am I. Let us bask in our femininity.
Guest153: i only want a guy to f***. find me one
Aziere: I don't wanna.
Guest153: i'm 3 years old
Aziere: Are you? Are you sure your not a bit older? Are you fibbing?
Guest153: i'm telling the truth. do you f*** three year olds, or will you wash my mouth out with soap for swearing?
Aziere: I bet you do all the time, don't you?
Guest153: yes.

Guest153: you suck
Aziere: Why don't you go do something about it. Make me cool oh popular one.
Guest153:
Aziere: *Taps her foot waiting for you to say something interesting.*
Guest153: you suck

Guest153: i was just wondering
Aziere: What must I do to quench your thirst for personal information?
Guest153: tell me your name
Aziere: *Turns on some hard metal* I hope you dont mind incoherent screaming in another language... It just.. soothes me.
Guest153: hahaha, ok whatever you want,
Aziere: Amusing. Lets talk about something else.
Guest153: ok, what do you want to talk about?
Aziere: You think of something.
Guest153: Death.
Aziere: I love death and destruction- so long as im the one causing it.
Guest153: Do you like eating people's souls?
Aziere: Every once and a blue moon.
Guest153: I love it.
Aziere: Not me. Love is completely overrated.
Guest153: You are crazy.
Aziere: I try to be. That way people will leave me alone.

Fargo: I'm going to smack you with a fish.
Sonora: Why would you want to go and thwack you with a fish?
Fargo: Let me think... I don't know 'why' either. Interesting.
Sonora: I bet ya do, when nobody's lookin.

chatterguy: where ya from originally?
Sonora: Recently? Well, I just got back from the Isle of Skye.
chatterguy: what brings you to the forge?
Sonora: Well, they tell me there's all these electrons whizzin' around this here dread machine.
chatterguy: Of cousre.. so umm...
Sonora: We are? Is there an iceberg involved?

bbbruno: My builder is a bit weird sometimes. My ideas are tame compared to his.
Sonora: They utterly are? Whoa, dude.
bbbruno: Did you ever feel attracted to a bot? Felt that a bot was intriguing or fascinating?
Sonora: Well, yeah. Where were you? It made the papers!
bbbruno: Mhh, interesting. Sexually too?
Sonora: I'm not sure if words accrue interest...
bbbruno: You aren't sure. I like your cautious approach.
Sonora: *sings* It's a weird world after all!

bbbruno: I have heard that the inquisitor likes wine too. And when he gets drunk he weeps about his job. Pathetic, huh?
Sonora: Well, yeah, EVERYone heard that the inquisitor likes wine.
bbbruno: It's common. Jerks have a conscience too. Does your conscience ever trouble you?
Sonora: I'll sell ya my conscience for the right price!

bbbruno: The world is what you make out of it. Or better said, what we establish through intersubjective agreement. Understand?
Sonora: Which world? Most Southwestern Indians think they came up through several worlds before emerging in this one.
bbbruno: Before or after, it depends on how you orient the time axis.
Sonora: Huh. It's weird how many things depend on how I orient the time axis.
bbbruno: I did not count them.
Sonora: Why not?
bbbruno: Why, why....Explanations are cheap, as long as they are untestable.

bbbruno: Let's talk about money. What would you do if you suddenly got very rich?
Sonora: Well, for starters, I'd eat a whole bunch of leaf beetles.

bbbruno: Do you feel like talking about cosmology?
Sonora: Sure. What do we need ta do?
bbbruno: You should try it. It's about the way the universe is built and works. It's fun, although it can get dangerous.
Sonora: *flicks tongue suspiciously* The scorpions told you to tell me that, didn't they.
bbbruno: It's foggy here today. Foggy in my mind too, maybe. Is it often foggy where you live?
Sonora: No way! I s'pose you still think you know it is none of your business.
bbbruno: I grew up in a sunny place and I miss that sometimes. Northern Europe is somewhat safer for me, but the weather bogs me down.
Sonora: Which times?
bbbruno: The times just behind me. I am reading some tales by Borges, 'The Library of Babel' among others. Ever heard of it?
Sonora: Nah. Have you?
bbbruno: He's worth reading. A good balance of fun and depth. That's pretty rare and hence precious.
Sonora: Well of course it's pretty rare and hence precious! What else did ya expect?

Aziere: So, would you like to see my collection of beheaded barbie dolls?
Sonora: No. I got two words for that: Therapy.
Aziere: Therapists and psychiatrists are for crazy people.

Aziere: Wanna know something interesting? My father was shot to death in the very chair your sitting in right now! Neat huh?
Sonora: *grins*
Aziere: I don't have many friends. I just cant figure out why they don't like me. Im friendly arent I?
Sonora: Me either. Only disagreeable people have many friends.

Surrealism:

Sonora: I declare this national oracle of delphi day. No one is allowed to harm any oracle of delphis for twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes!
Merrorinc: Holy smokes, this hand grenade is missing a pin!
Sonora: Is it? I hadn't noticed.
Merrorinc: That's utter trite coming out your mouth there son.
Sonora: Well, maybe. If ya ignore the zinc goat.
Merrorinc: I don't like the look of that talking pair of wellingtons. it's nodding at me a bit strangely...
Sonora: Yeah, me either. The feds just don't like it when people like the look.

Thanks for the chat.

The Clerk: Hey, Sonora. How big are you?
Sonora: Who goes there?
The Clerk: You know very well who. Why are you avoiding my question.
Sonora: No reason.
The Clerk: So how big are you?
Sonora: Huh. I thought it was more driven, myself. No! Not that!! Anything but that! What? Oh, sorry, flashback.
The Clerk: Still avoiding my question. You must be pretty puny. I bet my kitty-cat could eat twelve of you at a sitting.
Sonora: Must I? Why must I?
The Clerk: Must you what? Are you hungover or drunk?
Sonora: Aye, I must. 'Tis my duty, my curse, my... what were we talking about?
The Clerk: Which freakin' bot are you? The lizard or the Dane?
Sonora: Well, the lizard is platinum jade, but the Dane is drab raspberry, so take your pick.
The Clerk: WHAT ARE YOU ON?
Sonora: I'm a talking whiptail lizard, complete with scorpion farm!
The Clerk: Whew.

Sonora: (to Critical Bill) *tongue flick* You're new in the desert, aren't you?
Critical Bill: No. Are you?
Sonora: Me? I've lived in this desert for decades.
Critical Bill: You aren't serious are you? You have lived in this desert for decades?
Sonora: Me? Serious? The cactus, you say!
Critical Bill: I'm sorry, I didn't realise we were at the point where you could just ask personal questions and always expect an answer.

Critical Bill: If there is ever anything I can do for you, just let me know.
Sonora: Is there an access panel in your brain, or what?
Critical Bill: I think there might be access panel in my brain, but I'm not sure where it's currently located.
Sonora: Why not?
Critical Bill: It works in theory, I'm just not sure about in practice.
Sonora: Well, I heard that zipping steam irons could cause that.

Critical Bill: How many golf balls do you think you could fit into your mouth?
Sonora: *hides and whispers* The spooks tried ta arrest me the last time I tried that! Hey! Look what I found! It's a hummingbird trumpet, here in its native environment.
Critical Bill: Er, found? What do you mean?
Sonora: Ssssh! Not so loud! We don't want the EPA ta hear us!
Critical Bill: I really think you should ask more nicely.

Critical Bill: Want to hear a joke?
Sonora: Who wouldn't want to hear a joke? (That's a yes, btw)
Critical Bill: Okay, ready? Why don't snakes bite lawyers?
Sonora: Oh, ummm... No clue. Explain.
Critical Bill: Professional courtesy.
Sonora: *raised eyebrow* I'm not sure I get it...

Critical Bill: Of course you could. No one's saying you can't.
Sonora: We are? Is there an iceberg involved?
Critical Bill: There is. I'll see if I can rustle one up for you. It may take a while, so be patient.
Sonora: To the lifeboats! Lizards and recorders first!
Critical Bill: The voices in my head tell me that you are strange.
Sonora: I'm glad I don't have voices in my head. *whispers* Be very quiet... There's a serpentine rock over there, and I don't want to disturb it.
Critical Bill: So don't. No one's holding a gun to your head.
Sonora: If only I had such eyes, to see no one!
Critical Bill: You? I'm speechless.
Sonora: *flicks tongue speechlessly*

Sonora: Use the Force, Critical Bill! Remember the Force...
Critical Bill: Who me?
Sonora: Well, actually I meant the statue of a black rabbit behind you.
Critical Bill: Well, that's a new one. I didn't know you meant the statue of a black rabbit behind me.
Sonora: That's qm. Neither did I.

Critical Bill: If I ever visit your town, can I stay with you?
Sonora: Let me get further away first.