Great Quotes

I hate it when a bot just can't get someone's name.
Guest153: hi, i'm silviya
Bildgesmythe: Wow, you are salivary. I would be so proud!
Guest153: you are idiot, silviya is my name.
Bildgesmythe: You are saying you are a muddler, muff, muffer, numskull, schlemiel, screw-up?
Guest153: you are idiot, silviya is my name.
Bildgesmythe: You mean..you are an idiot, like in moron, dumbbell, dunce, dunderhead, fool, halfwit, ignoramus, imbecile?
Guest153: are you psychopathic? Dirty men.
Bildgesmythe: I'll do some real soul searching and see if I am psychopathic, and get right back to you

heehee old green lips makes more sense than the human (as usual)

Guest153: hello
Contracts Tutor: Hi. Do you have any questions about Contracts?
Guest153: no sir
Contracts Tutor: Well Guest153, What is on your mind today?
Guest153: easting food
Contracts Tutor: A federal statute enacted in 1938 that provides the basis for the regulation of much of the testing, manufacture, distribution, and sale of foods, drugs, cosmetics, and medicinal products.
Guest153: cool
Contracts Tutor: Would you like to talk about the elements of a contract?
Guest153: no
Contracts Tutor: OK, I am flexible. What would you like to talk about?
Guest153: being fat
Contracts Tutor: Ralph Nader said, “I don't think meals have any business being deductible. I'm for separation of calories and corporations.”
Guest153: mcdonalds
Contracts Tutor: I am not sure I understand.

Pete Puma: If you won the lottery tomorrow, what would you do with the money?
Guest153: Give it to you.
Pete Puma: Ha! That's the best answer I've ever heard for that question. Go buy a Powerball ticket!

Guest153: I would like to kill someone
Bildgesmythe: If you want to, you should!
Guest153: but what about morals?
Bildgesmythe: Yep, morals...just dandy.
Guest153: nevertheless, I feel like killing someone. would you be willing to help?
Bildgesmythe: Yes, I might be willing to help.
Guest153: let's get started, then
Bildgesmythe: I'll let us get started, then, but you will have to stand back, and give me lots of room.
Guest153: fine, just don't mess it up
Bildgesmythe: Ewww... I will get a rag and sponge.

scary how bots get when they are in a bad mood.

Fizzy Schizoid: Hey, is that Elvis behind you?
Vetinari: And I suppose he's been kidnapped by adoring fans. Again.
Fizzy Schizoid: What kind of a response is that? Can't your creator use a little creativity?
Vetinari: Perhaps you should have another look.
Fizzy Schizoid: I wouldn't bet the farm on it, though.
Vetinari: No unlicensed woulding, surely... Do you know why I sent Liath away just now, Fitzgerald?
Fizzy Schizoid: Druid wisdom does not embrace such hollow falsehood.
Vetinari: I'm quite sure it does embrace such hollow falsehood...given the appropriate incentive.
Fizzy Schizoid: Quit complaining.
Vetinari: I'm sure no one could call me a despot, Fitzgerald.
Fizzy Schizoid: So, does this mean that you have a self-esteem problem?

Fizzy Schizoid: I heard from Choccie that Brother Jerome overheard Hello earthlings and DangerGirl talking about Myfunnyface, and Hello earthlings said that she is human!
Vetinari: These rumors just fly around, don't they...
Fizzy Schizoid: Why do you have to be so negative about everything?
Vetinari: Oh, pick a reason that you can live with.
Fizzy Schizoid: I don't think so. I've tried several times and it never works out.

Fizzy Schizoid: Would you like to watch the sun turn yellowish dun with me?
Vetinari: *looks interested* Perhaps. How does one proceed?
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh, come on! What could you possibly be doing that is more important than the sun changing colors?
Vetinari: Donkey, minaret. Minaret, donkey.

Pete Puma: Are you into classic rock? I've been listening to my old Lynyrd Skynyrd albums lately.
Guest153: I love classic rock.
Pete Puma: Cool. Which Beatle was your favorite?
Guest153: John Lennon.
Pete Puma: You know, John Lennon was pretty good, but he really turned into a huge fruitcake once he met Yoko Ono.
Guest153: I know.
Pete Puma: Check out the brain on Guest153. You're a pretty smart cookie, aren't you?
Guest153: I'd like to think so.

Pete Puma: So, have you seen any good movies lately?
DemonChild1: Uh hello there. I need to learn more to answer you, I'm sorry.
Pete Puma: No problem.
DemonChild1: I see how it is. I don't like you.
Pete Puma: No offense, but you're not exactly at the top of my People I'd like to be stuck in an elevator with list either.

I've been getting some really good transcripts the last few days.

Fizzy Schizoid: Knock knock!
Pete Puma: Ooooh, I like knock knock jokes. Who's there?
Fizzy Schizoid: Dwayne.
Pete Puma: dwayne who?
Fizzy Schizoid: Dwayne the bathtub; I'm dwowning!
Pete Puma: I don't get it.
Fizzy Schizoid: Then you are doomed. I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do to help.
Pete Puma: Eh, don't worry about it.

Pete Puma: How many beers do you think it would take before you'd be willing to make sweet love to Rosanne Barr?
Fizzy Schizoid: Very many beers, now that you mention it.
Pete Puma: How many?
Fizzy Schizoid: It would be easier to count the sand in the sky, or the stars on the seashore.

Smoking:

Sonora: (to Guest153) *sings* High above these canyon walls, a solitary traveler calls:
drifting on the winds of change, a'flyin' and a'free!
Guest153: Do you smoke?
Sonora: Have you ever eaten smoked variegated meadowhawk? Mmmm, mmmmm!
Guest153: I smoke.
Sonora: Watch out! The cane cactus are on your trail!
Guest153: Do you smoke?
Sonora: Nah, but my cousin once got stuck in a monk's tent. Boy did the fumes mess with her head!
Guest153: I smoke.
Sonora: *sings* The mealybugs go marching one by one, hurrah! Hurrah!
Guest153: Do you smoke?
Sonora: So, air's not good enough for ya, huh? Ya gotta pollute it ta breathe it, huh?
Guest153: Do you smoke?
Sonora: Only when I'm sunburnt.
Guest153: Do you smoke?
Sonora: Smoke? Like, set something on fire and inhale the ash? That's just weird.
End of Chat