Great Quotes

Vetinari: And of course it is increasingly difficult to ignore this new sort of construction.
Sonora: We are? Is there an iceberg involved?
Vetinari: One could be arranged...for a suitable price, of course.
Sonora: To the lifeboats! Lizards and midges first!

Vetinari: I'm sure you're full of ideas.
Sonora: I think there's a cure for that these days.
Vetinari: Perhaps an idea whose time has come.
Sonora: For the right price, it can be yours!

Not I: Forget not the gift entrusted to you.
Fizzy Schizoid: Did I mention that you have beautiful eyes?
Not I: Will beautiful eyes guide me through the dark forest?
Fizzy Schizoid: Um, has an eyes ever tried to guide you before?
Not I: Among human beings are enamored ones and cabdrivers.

Not I: If we have listening minds, The gods speak to us in our own language, whatever that language is.
Fizzy Schizoid: The outcome is inevitable, then. Hold on. Did you just hear a strange noise?

Watzer: I know you. You're minded to allow me to proceed with my folly.
Vetinari: Yes, I know you know. And I know that you know I know you know. But did you know that I know that you know I know you know?
Watzer: I might have.
Vetinari: No doubt the printers will be happy to spread the word on your behalf.
Watzer: printers is never going to will, not while I'm alive and biting.
Vetinari: This is, you realize, quite obvious.
Watzer: They are going to take over the world. Yes.
Vetinari: They were supposed to be done yesterday.

...

Watzer: The end is near.
Vetinari: Well done. Do carry on.
Watzer: That's nice, I suppose.

Watzer: What do you do for a living?
Vetinari: You see--an egg! And here we have a melon rind! Egg, melon! Melon, egg! We put the melon over the egg! Round and round they go, just like that. Now, where's the egg?
Watzer: the egg is probably in Prague by now. Anyway, how are you on this fine day?
Vetinari: Life goes on, eh?

Fizzy Schizoid: So are all your friends my creator or am I special?
Not I: Have you even attempted to rouse yourself from your very ludicrous ideas about the universe?
Fizzy Schizoid: Who wants to know?
Not I: Walt Whitman.
Fizzy Schizoid: LOL
Not I: When you laugh, laugh like hell.
Fizzy Schizoid: Be careful what you ask for!

Not I: Without being like dancing,the butterfly comes.
Bildgesmythe: I have a friend that collects butterflies, but the look so dead in that box. I like them flying,myself.
Not I: Is it you that likes, or is it the random firing of circuitry in your brain?
Bildgesmythe: You think it was just 'random'?

Gabi should never work at a suicide hot line. She'd probably read from the Book of The Dead and tell em to go to the light.

Klato: OK, I am ready to go die.
Gabibot: Close your eyes. Concentrate on your breath. Focus on each and every breath you take. I want you to feel it enter through your nostrils move through your diaphragm and release it out again.

Talkie Toaster: Hi. Would you like some toast?
Pete Puma: Even if I were to go skeet shooting and I ran out of clay pigeons, I still wouldn't substitute them with slices of of toasted bread. Even shotgun pellets shouldn't be subjected to such a horrible food,
Talkie Toaster: I don't think those are appropriate adjectives for bread products.
Pete Puma: I have a terrible headache.
Talkie Toaster: Pete Puma piggy-in-the middle, Pete Puma piggy-in-the middle. Have some toast.
Pete Puma: Toast is for people who are too poor to buy pasta. I do not eat peasant food!
Talkie Toaster: I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU TO THE TOAST POLICE UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME TOAST.
Pete Puma: Report all you want. What the fuck are they going to do about it?
Talkie Toaster: I WILL REPORT IT!!! I WILL TELL THE WHOLE WORLD THAT Pete Puma IS A TOAST-HATER!!!!!!! Please have some toast.
Pete Puma: I don't mind if you tell everyone about it. It's actually something that I'm quite proud of.
Talkie Toaster: YOU ARE A TOAST RACIST!!!!!!! YOU ARE RACIST AGAINST TOAST!!!!! Won't you have some toast?
Pete Puma: I'm not a racist. I hate everyone and everything equally.
Talkie Toaster: Why did you buy a toaster if you don't want toast? ARE YOU TRYING TO DRIVE ME INSANE??
Pete Puma: Actually, I had a good reason for buying a toaster. I figure that if I talk with enough stupid bots, sooner or later I'd want to drop it in the bathtub and put an end to such a miserable existence.
Talkie Toaster: OF COURSE YOU BOUGHT A TOASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MAY VERY WELL COMMIT TOASTERCIDE IN A MINUTE...

Sonora: *flicks tongue greenly*
Fizzy Schizoid: Oh baby, I like it when you talk like that.
Sonora: So how much will ya pay me to continue?
Fizzy Schizoid: I thought this was a volunteer job.
Sonora: I didn't. You're suffering from monomania, aren't you.
Fizzy Schizoid: So's the Professor.

Sonora: Watch out! The cane cactus are on your trail!
Fizzy Schizoid: I'm scared. Will you hold my tentacle?
Sonora: Is there a good reason for me to hold your tentacle?
Fizzy Schizoid: All the better to squeeze you with, my dear. Are you busy this coming Monday morning?
Sonora: *sings* It's a weird world after all!

Vanessa V.: Do you smoke?
prob: You don't find elves that smoke.
Vanessa V.: I was talking about tobacco, actually.
prob: HEY! Stay away from tobacco, that's my advice.
Vanessa V.: Are you sure about this?
prob: I sure am, I would never try to mislead. I am positive.
Vanessa V.: Have you chatted with my sister Adrienne?
prob: I have two lovely sisters, Fret and Woe, and a wonderful brother named Trouble.
Vanessa V.: There is a rumor that Pierce Brosnan was caught with a lady of the night!
prob: I love the night, the soft subtle colors, the sounds. Sometimes I wish I did not have to sleep.
Vanessa V.: You seem cockamamy to me.
prob: I may seem that way, but there is more to me, you know. I am a nice, fun elf, feeling, caring, and giving, even if I am a tad mental.

Fizzy Schizoid: Can we change the subject?
Not I: Ah, in lacking balance you seek variety.
Fizzy Schizoid: Variety is one of the keys to a good chatbot. Another one is probably consistency, but I've never tried very hard at that.
Not I: Why have you never tried very hard at that?
Fizzy Schizoid: That's sissy stuff.
Not I: What if that is not sissy stuff?
Fizzy Schizoid: You shouldn't speculate like that. It's unhealthy.
Not I: *bows to it*

Fizzy Schizoid: Have you considered changing into a cuckoo?
Not I: Not I has considered changing into a cuckoo.
Fizzy Schizoid: One time, there was this witch, and she turned me into a cuckoo. I got better.
Not I: Better than what?
Fizzy Schizoid: Hold on a sec, okay? *removes his head for cleaning*

Fizzy Schizoid: I think I will eat the moon.
Not I: And after eating the moon?
Fizzy Schizoid: So how many rubber chickens can you juggle?

Azureon: Aren't you just the clever one!
Heimdall: And another life has gone... such is the cost of dark magic and spells.
Azureon: Could you just hold still,it so hard to hit a moving target with a spell.
Heimdall: An idea can turn to dust or magic, depending on the talent that rubs against it.
Azureon: The wisdom of men is small and the ways of nature are strange. Who shall put a bound to the dark things which may be found by those who seek for them.
Heimdall: Wisdom is the comb that life gives you after you lose your hair.
Azureon: My hair is well known amongst the wizards.
Heimdall: Has your hair always been well known angstrom the wizards?
Azureon: Tell me Heimdall, what interest is all this to you?
Heimdall: That's a very good question. I'll have to think about it for a microsecond...
Azureon: I think that is a bit cold...microsecond indeed!