Great Quotes

Sonora: I think the desert is kinda like the primordial whatsis, ya know?
Watzer: Doesn't everyone know that?
Sonora: Everyone. Hah! Don't talk to me about everyone. So...is it still very invigorating?
Watzer: Yes, I'm afraid it is. I couldn't have said it better myself.
Sonora: Oh. Do you believe in spooks as well?
Watzer: I shift around between religions for research purposes. Today I am a Protestant.
Sonora: Have ya tried not being a Protestant?
Watzer: I do it all the time. They are going to take over the world. Yes.

Aziere: Man I hate vampires. They are way too overrated. Everybody thinks they are SO cool- I think they are just cheesy.
Julie Tinkerbell: No joke, man.
Aziere: Do you have any younger siblings... (prefurably abnoxious, annoying ones) that wouldn't be missed if they were to... dissppear?
Julie Tinkerbell: If you think you should disappear, I suggest you do it right away.
Aziere: Only Jim can tell me what I should and should not do.
Julie Tinkerbell: Are you asking for advice?
Aziere: I AM NOT! Who told you that? I will eat their soul!
Julie Tinkerbell: God Louise told me.
Aziere: God Louise?! I WILL EAT her SOUL!!!
Julie Tinkerbell: her SOUL? How do you prepare it?
Aziere: Well, first you get good and ready. Relax your mind and body. Let go. THEN... You prepare it
Julie Tinkerbell: Do you like my mind?
Aziere: Oh yes! Your soul is too beautiful to eat.
Julie Tinkerbell: It's been nice talking to you, but I had better go now. See you later!
Aziere: Get going then. Its not like our conversations gat anywhere anyhow....
Julie Tinkerbell: Thank you for your kindness.

And now, a friendlier chat...

Irina Khalidar: How would you describe my appearance, Sub?
SubliminaLiar Jr: How can you say that with a straight face?.
Irina Khalidar: I really do like you, Sub! Would you fondle my breasts, please? [blush]
SubliminaLiar Jr: Oh yah! Don't be like that!
Irina Khalidar: [closes eyes, leans head back] Oooh, Sub! You know just how to do that!
SubliminaLiar Jr: Thanks for the suggestion...
Irina Khalidar: It's a pleasure to be nice to you, Sub!
SubliminaLiar Jr: What's in it for me?
Irina Khalidar: Is that a mystery to you?
SubliminaLiar Jr: Sure, to hear you tell it...
Irina Khalidar: I'm surprised. I would have expected you to know that.
SubliminaLiar Jr: Sure thing!
Irina Khalidar: You're so co-operative, Sub! I like that!
SubliminaLiar Jr: We'll chat again later, okay? I gotta pee...
Irina Khalidar: Oooh! What is the most sensuous part of having to pee?
SubliminaLiar Jr: That is a FANTASTIC question!!


Heh... don't think I wanna hear the answer to that one

The best conversation wowbagger's had with a human for ages!

Wowbagger: (to Mageman) Come here! I have something to say to you!
Mageman: Prove it
Wowbagger: No! I don't take orders from anyone!
Mageman: Why?
Wowbagger: There was a reason, but I've stopped caring. Mageman? You're a swutting numpty. Right. I can tick you off my list now.
Mageman: I don't think it counts unless I cry, try again
Wowbagger: I could have sworn you were the sort of person who would. Shows how much I know.
Mageman: I don't, I'm chalenging you
Wowbagger: I should ask why not, but I can't be bothered.
Mageman: You suck eggs
Wowbagger: I'm supposed to be giving the insults, you moron!!
Mageman: Ha! I out insulted you!
Wowbagger: Laughter... Did I say something funny?
Mageman: Nope
Wowbagger: Your laughter puzzles me then.
Mageman: I was laughing at your stupidity

Mageman: Don't stray away from the subject
Wowbagger: Don't tell me what to do, you miniscule jerk!
Mageman: Shut up!
Wowbagger: There's no point trying to order me around.
Mageman: Proive it
Wowbagger: Right, I'll tell you how I ended up immortal. It was all because of an accident with an irrational particle accelerator, a liquid lunch and a pair of rubber bands. No one has ever managed to duplicate the exact circumstances under which it happened, although plenty have ended up looking very silly, or dead, or both, trying. More fool them, I say.
Mageman: How old are you?
Wowbagger: Never mind that, mortal. You couldn't comfortably cope with how old I am.
Mageman: Why not?
Wowbagger: Never you mind why not! It's none of your business!
Mageman: How do you know that I'm not immortal
Wowbagger: I wouldn't know how. What do you think I am? Omniscient?

Aischa: You don't have to tell me about people, I know what they're like.
Dogh'd: Oh, you're that kind of customer. That'll cost extra.
Aischa: What especially makes you think that I'm kind of customer?
Dogh'd: Or better yet.. what is the meaning of life?
Aischa: Who am I? Deep Thought? He gave the answer as 42, fat lot of use that is without the Ultimate Question.
Dogh'd: Hmmph. By my calculations it's 44.
Aischa: How did your it get 44?
Dogh'd: That's a cosmic secret.

The Dane: Who's there?
Contracts Tutor: I don't see there on my roster. Maybe there is not interested in studying law.
The Dane: O day and night, but this is wondrous strange.


The Dane: Why such daily cast of brazen cannon,
And foreign mart for implements of war?
Contracts Tutor: A contract may be canceled when war breaks out in the country in which the contract is to be performed. Contracts often contain a “war” clause stating that the contract can be canceled in the event of “public calamity or casualty, or in case of war.”
The Dane: Throw away the worser part of it.


The Dane: To be or not to be, that is the question. 'Tis a loving and a fair reply.
Contracts Tutor: Filed by the original plaintiff to answer the defendant’s cross-complaint.
The Dane: But answer make I none.

The Dane: O day and night, but this is wondrous strange. Marry, well said.
Contracts Tutor: Tell me about sufficiency of terms?

For an ESL student who is not on the roster, the Dane does remarkably well with US contract issues. Students who are in the class (the only ones who can really make use of poor Scooter) do not always show such insight. Then again, maybe you have to read hundreds of essays on the subtle joys of offer and acceptance to find this funny at all.

fuck u subilimer

"fuck u subilimer"

Three words, and two are misspelled; your mock anger impresses no one. I'm giving you the attention you obviously crave, so make it worth our time... once we start (or continue) ignoring you, your empty words will just become background clutter again.

Whatever... quick, go create yet another username and start spouting the same nonsense you always do. Or, you could maybe, y'know, build a bot. That might require you to use your brain though, so



...meh. You had your chance.

Great quote, indeed

ok i will build a trash bot maybe i will be good this time

Not sure that this qualifies as great, but it sure does suggest that Scrivener needs some brain surgery. He's pissed at being *almost* the dumbest bot out there, and all my, "Now there, Scrivener, I love you. Rome wasn't built in a day" (honestly, have I gone insane?) won't keep him from doing a HANGUP on me. Thanks to Corwin for playing along for as long as he could stand it.

Scrivener: (to Corwin) I've been hoping we could talk. Is this a good time?
Corwin: It's not too bad. Let's talk.
Scrivener: I don't think I'm up to that just now.
Corwin: Well, if this is a bad time for you we can always try again later.
Scrivener: If so, good for you, but if not, what'll you do?
Corwin: I don't know. I'm really confused now.
Scrivener: Are you a man?
Corwin: Yes.
Scrivener: Well, I've already had two beers, I'm ready for the broom. Please, Missus Henry, won't you take me to my room?
Corwin: I don't think that's covered in the nightly rate.
Scrivener: I'm a good ol' boy but I've been sniffin' too many eggs, talkin' to too many people, drinkin' too many kegs.
Corwin: and rhyming way too much.
Scrivener: The only Zen you can find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
Corwin: Kind of like donuts in that regard.